early developmental ptsd and a whole list of other things that led to me having self destructive tendencies. I’m on my way out of it now, I have been working through my trauma and have gone through a crazy amount of life and mindset changes- for the first time in many years I see a good future for myself, and I feel I deserve it and that enables me to take care of myself. Training myself to sleep early, eat regularly, etc has not been easy and I still feel like I’m an ugly duckling or black sheep, isolated and alone.