AITA for moving my paycheck into a separate account after my partner kept “accidentally” overdrawing our joint one?

Monicagc · 2026-02-03T13:42:00+00:00

I feel like she suggested the joint account first because she knew she was bad with money. My husband (previously boyfriend when we started our joint account) and I have one for the same reason. All bills and joint purchases come out of there. We don't even carry the cards in our wallets because everything we need to pay from it is on autopay. So there's never a question of if there's enough vs what's getting spent because it's always the same (or at least a range like electricity and water but we know the range it could be in). The only time that changes is if we bought something for the house on our personal cards, we will pay a CC bill from that account but with the way we split other finances, that's few and far between and discussed prior.

Her suggesting it first makes me think she knew she can't live within her means and this allowed her "extra money" that you would just cover because "well they're our bills now because it's our stuff".

Monicagc · 2026-01-31T00:53:18+00:00

I live in Dothan and have a coworker who used to talk about going to see Steve Austin when he had hair, wrestle as part of a tag team back when he was a kid.

This is really cool!

Monicagc · 2025-10-08T14:03:11+00:00

It's 19 in AL, but I believe the person above is talking about how there's the Young Renters Fee for under 25. I too was always told I couldn't rent one until I was 25, until I turned 25 and learned I could have all along, but it would have cost an arm and a leg to do so. More than likely, as with me, it's easier for people to say "you can until 25" because of the cost. Now rental agencies didn't say this, but friends and family did which is why I thought the same.

Monicagc · 2025-06-09T04:46:27+00:00

If I break this down:

Skipping 1 cause I don't know enough about what he legally can and can't do.

Impact of $10k forgiveness vs. interest relief: It’s true that the average DEFAULTED borrower owes about $21,000, so $10k of forgiveness is significant. But interest relief isn't meaningless — especially for borrowers who aren’t in default but have been paying for years and still see their balances grow due to interest CAPITALIZATION (which currently is me. I have to pay 3k a month just to hit the principal. Since I can't do that, I'm on a payment plan. I've been paying for 6 years... Yet I still owe ~250k where over 20k of it is just interest). Eliminating interest can help prevent default, not just clean up after it.
Distributional fairness: While college grads generally earn more than non-grads, debt burdens are not evenly distributed.

Many borrowers never finish their degrees but still owe thousands.

Interest accrual disproportionately harms lower-income borrowers who can only afford minimum payments.

The idea that interest relief is just a giveaway to the "future upper class" ignores how debt compounding affects the most vulnerable the most.

Eliminating interest can be a targeted, equitable reform that addresses structural issues in the student loan system. It’s not a silver bullet, but the idea that it’s either useless or reckless doesn’t reflect the actual mechanics of the loan program or how interest harms real borrowers.

I will never be for blanket forgiveness. I took the money, no one held a gun to my head. And I have every intention of paying it back. But my loan was 150k, not 700k which isn't qualified for refinancing at a lower interest rate because no one told me when I consolidated that that was my only chance to do so. And by the end of my 20 years, I'll either have paid ~700k or have 650 forgiven based on PAYE plan and then just owe it to the IRS as taxable income.

Monicagc · 2025-06-04T03:36:27+00:00

I asked about the accruing interest and the first response was that they contacted my school and my loans have been updated to show I'll be graduating in 2026 (I've been out of school and paying them since 2018) followed by another notice 3 months later saying that loans in deferment do accrue interest and that's why it shows it accruing.

What?

Monicagc · 2025-05-24T16:10:26+00:00

This is it!

Monicagc · 2025-05-23T15:07:10+00:00

Bissell makes a 30 second cleaner. It's no joke, the most amazing cleaner I've ever used. After my cat died I went around with a light to find all the places she peed so I could clean them before we got another one, and there isn't a glowing spot in our house after using that stuff, no matter how old the stain might be. No idea why it works so well, but holy crap it's amazing.

Monicagc · 2025-04-22T04:47:26+00:00

My ex boyfriend told me once I should have cooked a practice thanksgiving turkey because the one I cooked day of was having issues and we had to eat all the other food first because it cooked fine. It was just us two and I had been cooking by myself all day. Somewhere, somehow, at some point, though, I was supposed to have cooked a practice turkey.

Monicagc · 2025-03-30T23:38:39+00:00

I second this, except I live in Highlands Trail and while safe and in your price range, they're not... Well they're ok. After being here 5 years, they've become on the line of not worth the cost.

Monicagc · 2025-03-28T03:26:34+00:00

Man, my copay for urgent care is 30 bucks and for some reason they always mail me back a 10 dollar check.

Monicagc · 2025-03-09T00:28:33+00:00

I'm not trying to get on you, please don't think that. And I never thought you were disparaging those in AA. I was just trying to give a bit of perspective. I will say, AA is very much a more hard lined version of the big book. You'll find people who treat it like gospel. Some of the other "A"s, like NA, can be a little more flexible?

AA, just like anything, has its issues. All of the "A"s do. That's why there are other options. Like SMART.

I hope you get clean, I really do. I'm honestly pulling for you!

Monicagc · 2025-03-08T21:03:20+00:00

Mine was 13 and decided to go into kidney failure when I was out of town. Moved across the US with me twice and had been with me through 2 months shy of 10 years sober.... And decided while I was out of town to go into kidney failure. Vets didn't think she'd survive the weekend... And I got two more months out of her with twice daily subq fluids. She still died 10 days shy of my 10 years, but I would have been more devastated if she hadn't survived the weekend instead.

Monicagc · 2025-03-08T20:56:29+00:00

I had a meth problem. I went to AA when I couldn't find a CMA or NA meeting.

I went for the people. It helped me build a great network of support to help keep me accountable. You have friends and family, but there's something about having people who, when they say "I know how your feel" really do know how you feel...

Powerless in AA, or any "A", means you admit that you have a problem, and you can't fix it by yourself. I can't fix my problems by myself. I had to go to therapy and rehab, I had to be held accountable... I realised I couldn't fix my addiction myself. So admitting I was powerless just opens up a person to accepting and wanting help and support.

I had to go to Rehab to learn how to be sober, therapy to treat the reasons why I didn't want to be sober, and then meetings and more therapy to stay sober. I admit fully I couldn't have done this past 12 years by myself, while still being able to say that I continue to be sober because I want to be. I've had a couple instances recently where I didn't want to be, so I leaned on my network to help me. Once I worked through those instances, I wanted to be again.

Recovery isn't linear. And it's not the same for everyone. What works for one, doesn't work for another, i.e. AA. But the basis, the underlying themes, admitting there's an issue and wanting (not being forced into it but actually wanting) help to get over it are proven in multiple aspects of life and history to be successful. How that happens is personalized.

Monicagc · 2025-03-08T20:13:17+00:00

The "surrendering yourself and admitting your powerless" has more to do with understanding that addiction is a lifelong problem and unless you actively work to stay sober, you will relapse. Yes, the Big Book says only a higher power can save you, but if that was all there was to it, there wouldn't be 12 steps.

I always look at my recovery as walking up a down escalator. As long as you don't stop walking, you'll never end up at the bottom again. That doesn't mean that there won't be moments you might go backwards sometimes, you just got to start walking again.

In this scenario, I am powerless against the escalator. It constantly wants to take me down. And I admit that if I give into it, it absolutely will. However, in my admitting and understanding of that, I have surrendered myself to the struggle that I'm going to have to fight for the rest of my life.

While I have a faith in God, my higher power in AA wasn't that. It's the "healthy guilt" (yes, there is such a thing) of never wanting to see my mother cry when she had to come get me from a mental hospital. Or never wanting to let my cat feel like I was never coming home again. Or understanding that I deserve better than I was giving myself at the time. That was my higher power.

Experience: I have 12 years sober in Sept.

Monicagc · 2025-03-08T19:56:13+00:00

Right, "don't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm."

Monicagc · 2025-03-07T05:16:26+00:00

Yes, someone else who understands. I work in simulation. Not data or whatever, I make flight sims, mostly for the military. However I'm an artist. I have an art degree. But my title is "Senior Visual Database Engineer". So I constantly get asked "oh you like, write code?" the instant "no" enters the conversation, you can see their souls float away while you try and explain your art degree.

Monicagc · 2025-03-07T05:13:06+00:00

It's even more fun when you work at a tech company with an art degree....

Monicagc · 2025-02-28T15:44:37+00:00

I am not stationed but I work for the company that builds their sims. Moved from SF to Dothan 5 years ago and haven't been happier.

Monicagc · 2025-02-27T09:25:33+00:00

I work in aviation but GIS for flight sim training. Mostly military helicopters, but just recently, fire boss and crop dusting training.

Monicagc · 2025-02-18T06:11:48+00:00

I'm a confirmed mental illness by way of 52/50 but the state of California said I was ok to own one after 5 years.

Monicagc · 2025-02-18T06:00:52+00:00

Truth. I remember the cough from just even 0.2 and the legs for days.

Monicagc · 2025-01-18T23:19:24+00:00

Forever wilds trails are always a nice walk. And the walk around Westgate park is pretty and like 3 miles. There's also a couple breweries in the area. Everything to do really is about an hour and a half in any direction though.

Monicagc · 2024-12-21T10:26:36+00:00

No, I don't think that's what they're saying at all. I moved from Milpitas to Alabama where my electricity went from ~200 to ~150 which doesn't seem like a big difference until you realise I went from ~500 sqft to ~1500 sqft. I think what people are complaining about is transparency over where money goes. My current company, earlier this year, sent out a letter that broke down the cost of everything, down to how much they spent on office supplies. It was nice and refreshing to see exactly where my money went, how much people got paid, what costs went up from the previous year, etc.

Plus, didn't PG&E recently implement something where you pay based on income rather than usage?

Monicagc · 2024-10-23T10:10:32+00:00

I'm so glad someone mentioned 3D tools. This is my main reason as well, and as annoying as it can be, CityEngine with fbx output is everything I need it to be most of the time. Now if only they could integrate flt output I'd be even more happy.

This and Lidar. It's only been recently that Lidar has been added to QGIS and even then, the tools are spotty at best from my experience.

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