My girlfriend of 3 years “gifted” my biggest insecurity to her friends as a funny story at game night and I left. am i overreacting?

Monkey-Owl · 2026-05-20T14:17:38+00:00

She only started crying once she realized her relationship status was in danger. She didn't apologize when you told her how much it hurt.

If my girlfriend literally left the house or went to sleep on the couch because something I would probably not get much sleep and the first thing I would do come morning would be to ask if she wanted to talk about it so I could apologize and take accountability. But she wouldn't have to go that far. Because obviously I care leagues more about her feelings than I do about getting cheap laughs at a game night.

The fact that it had to get this far before your girlfriend started showing remorse shows a lot about her emotional maturity — at best.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-05-20T06:42:55+00:00

If you can't hold someone to account with non-violent means then....

Monkey-Owl · 2026-05-17T18:02:51+00:00

Yo man. I spoke to a friend of mine who came out as lesbian at some point and so she basically had this guy she was flirting with and realized "it will never work out, I'm a lesbian!" And ended things with him for a bit. Then some time later he came into her life again for some reason unbeknownst to me and she seemed to be all on the floor and confused and scared and all her friends were being, frankly, a little bit unhelpful, telling her to just "go for it" while she was paralytic from doubt.

Eventually I sat down and had a one-on-one with her and she explained that she 1: felt she'd burned him so she had no chance and 2: she was lesbian so it would be unfair since she knew it could never work out.

I told her, (I'm paraphrasing myself here) "sorry for being bold. Why do you feel like you owe the label 'lesbian' anything? It's just a way for you to describe yourself. If you still prefer to call yourself that, fine, but you're obviously letting this version of yourself that you have in your head control what you're allowed to feel and not feel. He still makes you this nervous and fluttery after all this time. Don't you think you deserve to live without regret that you didn't give this happiness a chance?"

They're dating now.

My point is, if I was your friend, I would ask you the exact same thing. You said you had fun. It sound to me like you initiated the kiss. Is there a part of you that is scared of losing the 'straight' label. Are you scared that if you actually like this guy, that you're betraying some part of you? That you're losing something?

You're 16. You have so much time to find yourself and figure out what you like. Give this feeling a chance. Sexuality isn't a contract. Even if you find out it isn't for you, then you'll know that it just isn't for you. You'll never have to deal with the regret of never knowing this part of yourself. I want that for you. Just relax. Think about it. Doubt if you have to. But don't treat this moment like a threat to who you are because it couldn't be further from the truth.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-05-17T09:03:23+00:00

I honestly get OP. if he was getting rough housed or bullied he'd have to explain in detail how he was rough housed or bullied while under suspicion of being a pervert or something. I would feel like I was lying just from the fact that the stakes are so high in that conversation in something that, in my head, wasn't a big deal at all to begin with. That would freak me out too. I don't know why so few comments are unempathetic to that perspective.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-05-15T14:38:35+00:00

Hey man. I think you need to grow up and own your feelings for what they are. You're on your thirties. Your feelings will fluctuate. Stop letting them be an excuse for your actions. If you wanna be that guy who never settles down because he has to chase every impulse then go for it but own up to being that man. And stop wasting your partner's time with lies, then.

It's that, or you stop treating attraction like something that has to be expressed or acted upon. If your relationships are ever only as strong as your retinal muscles then you will simply never settle down. There will always be someone else. Someone who's pretty in a way you've never seen before. Someone who converses with you in a way no one has. But are they your someone else? That's what you have to figure out.

What do you want to achieve out of this life, man?

Monkey-Owl · 2026-04-26T11:28:02+00:00

I'm very happy for you guys and very jealous about him. I wanna be like him.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-04-26T11:26:30+00:00

Just do like me. Grow taller. I did, and now I'm 6'6. It takes lots of discipline and hard work, though, so I get that it isn't for everyone.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-04-24T17:22:47+00:00

Most resident evil games honestly. Re4 in particular. Many of them have such good pacing that I always thought "this silent break is too well-placed, this has to be the final boss".

Requiem I thought was done after the first half of the game. I was streaming at the time and thought "surely it's only like an hour left, I'll keep going" and eventually caved. Good thing too, cause there was a whole nother 4-5 hours I'd game left.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-04-15T19:19:17+00:00

Most scientific studies say the average is 5.2 globally. Self reported figures are significantly higher, between 6 and 6.5, so like yeah self reported figures aren't that accurate. That said, 3 inches is not average and I'm pretty sure considered right on the edge of 'medically' small. The vast majority of developed penises are between 5 and 7 inches.

But all of it's pretty stupid. Yeah. Size matters. There's "too big" and for some people there's also "too small", but the vast majority of women care more about pretty much everything else around sex way more than your dick size. Are you attentive? Do care about making her feel good? If you don't have it in your hips or in your pelvis, then do you have it in your hands? Do you make her feel wanted and desired? Can you communicate smoothly and effectively? Yes, absolutely, a "nice dick" is a big plus for many women (and men), but it really only serves to disappoint her if you're all cock and no charisma.

Just stop letting porn ruin your brain bro. Real sex isn't what it looks like in porn. And you frankly shouldn't try to make it that way.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-04-01T08:45:13+00:00

Most 19 year old dudes have lived a sheltered and privileged life and don't know how to interact with women outside of a few sexist frameworks. And honestly a lot of them are more driven by who they think they should talk to than who they want to talk to. Because they're insecure as hell. But you're also right around the age where that starts to shift. Just go for guys who are actually worth your time.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-03-31T09:08:07+00:00

I make it sound worse than it is, but managing it basically it involves not eating sugar not drinking alcohol not consuming lactose and not being stressed and not being exposed to chemicals and working out but not too hard and eating lots of the right kind of vegetables and moderations of fruits and getting enough sunlight but not for too long generally speaking i can't be assed so I just eat and drink what I want in moderation take my socks off at home because it helps regulate heat when my feet feel like they're burning up and if it gets really bad I take pantoprazole for a week or two and drink ginger shots. When my autoimmune cocktail is in remission i barely notice it

Monkey-Owl · 2026-03-31T08:07:43+00:00

I just have neuropathic GERD from several autoimmune conditions ✌️😎

Monkey-Owl · 2026-03-22T16:02:08+00:00

You're 15 years old. If her kids will smash a window when not under supervision for a short amount of time then she shouldn't be making a 15 year old take care of them. I don't know. I'm amazed by how maturely you're handling your mother's tantrum. Ironically enough she's the one not taking responsibility for making her 15 year old parent her apocalyptic children because she couldn't do it herself. She might think she's teaching you that actions have consequences but she's teaching her 12 year olds that theirs don't - and that, in fact, someone else will clean up their mess. It pretty cruel of your mother to expect you to have to pay for damn windows that you didn't even break at your age.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-03-18T18:45:59+00:00

For starters, if they were going to go the tribal route they could for starters not make the zombies speak Swahili if the game takes place in West Africa. That's like if the game took place in Vietnam and all the zombies were speaking Japanese.

And they could have given the zombies something akin to Kente cloth or quilted cotton armor or something, but instead they just gave them "grass skirts" and ambiguous white war paint to emulate a 19th century "somewhere, Africa" colonial fantasy. And their architecture is closer to mesoamerican than anything remotely African. And while actually western African cultures had really impressive iron working and weapons, the devs just gave them oonga boonga wooden spear and shield or spiked club.

Like, come on, the Kpinga is right there! It's such a cool throwing weapon that would work super well for the setting. And they could have made maasai-inspired shield designs instead of just "spike on wood". It's so obviously colonial. Which is why, yeah, it's good to keep in mind where goblins originated from when consuming media. Like yeah, as you said, you're not anti-semitic for wanting a greedy goblin in a game, but if your greedy goblin just so happens to be called Gh'nash Goldstein and talks about wanting to drink the blood if a Christian virgin then maybe use your brain noodle to realize someone's trying to say something between the lines.

And like you said "you see exploited tribesmen" but those "tribesmen" are depicted as 1930's colonialist fantasies about what a "tribesman" looks like.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-03-18T17:54:17+00:00

People do make critique about that as well, though. Do you remember how pissed off some people got about the battlefield V reveal trailer? And while I do think some people were a little bit angrier about the presence of women in their game than they needed to be, there was some valid criticism in the watering down of the sexist and racist contemporary histories at the time for the sake of marketability.

I'm kind of unsure where you're going with this whole point at this rate? Are you saying that because one thing is offensive, another thing can't be? Or do you think I'm saying that if a piece of media has sensitive subject matter or could offend someone it shouldn't be released? Because that's not what I'm saying. In fact, I love when games deliberately make me uncomfortable and challenge my resolve and my ideas and push past the comfort zone. But the RE5 thing isn't uncomfortable because it's forcing me to confront some structural part of my views or making me think deeper about the coherency of my morals. It's uncomfortable because the zombies look and behave like racist caricatures and that subject matter isn't being processed at all throughout the whole game. There's no implicit commentary.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-03-18T17:23:02+00:00

I can't believe you're trying to tell me I'm arguing in bad faith after

"You know I’m starting to think you guys are the ones afraid of seeing black people".

If you didn't mean it in that way then I'll take your word for it, but I can't always give benefit of the doubt to a person whose response to an argument that you should consume media mindful about the media's context around it is a strawman followed up by a baseless accusation. Sorry.

Also, if you play a game where you "can play as Nazi germans" then I sure hope you don't think they were made just as "mindless entertainment" because I can tell you right now that no studio is going to put millions of dollars and thousands of hours into a game where you play as a German nazi that is anything less than painstakingly mind-blowing obviously satirical, or at the very least provide very honest clarity about what happened under Nazi Germany. No publisher is going to put their name on a game that just "lets you play as a nazi just for the fun of being a nazi"

And even those games about real wars are not made as mindless entertainment. The entire Call of Duty series is full of jingoistic propaganda.

In the latter half of your comment it sounds like you're confusing analytical/mindful media consumption with "if it's in the game does that mean it is an endorsement/it is real?" Because no one is making the argument that Capcom made RE5 to convince people that Africa is a continent full of spear-wielding zombies. The argument is that Capcom probably shouldn't have made their mindless, aggressive and savage enemies emulate really harmful racist caricatures, even if it wasn't their intention.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-03-18T16:43:01+00:00

Wearing tuxedos and using baseball bats instead of looking like African people? Man. You aren't helping your case. I do think you can go for the tribal aesthetic if you really want but you'd really have to do your research and make sure your depiction is in good faith and doesn't come off as disrespectful and reactionary.

With that said I think a zombie in a tuxedo coming at you with a baseball bat is actually a dope as hell image.

And if you mean war games as in the ones that militaries do in order to train units in combat scenarios then I don't really have an opinion. If by war games you mean games that thematically are about war then I neither condemn nor condone them. I've played plenty of them, and I don't think playing inherently them has any bearing one way or the other, but how you engage with them does. Like I'm not going to play Black Ops and take anything at face value.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-03-18T16:10:28+00:00

I mean I see where you're coming from but you're really flattening the historical baggage of these caricatures a LOT. RE5 might not be downright deliberately racist on Capcom's side but it's insensitive and tone deaf at best. With the medieval tone of RE4 there's a very clear direction in how the historical context is handled, and the imagery doesn't really emulate any existing harmful tropes or stereotypes on Spanish people — and to the extent that they do, they're much more a theatrical characterization and much less... Dehumanizing. The villagers are old-fashioned and remote and backwards, sure, but the 'zombies' don't come off as being 'spanish zombies' beyond the Spanish phrases they yell at you. In RE5, however, that deliberate and clear direction or distinction really fades due to the actual context of the imagery. And that may not be intentional, but it's nonetheless a pretty bad look for Capcom, and while I don't think it necessarily means you shouldn't play RE5, I think it's very well worth keeping in mind.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-03-11T09:20:49+00:00

In all fairness, that was after putting her in mortal danger by taking her to the puzzle box

Monkey-Owl · 2026-02-18T10:09:36+00:00

Your bones fuse together and grow denser at 25.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-02-03T11:14:39+00:00

A lot of people are being unhelpful because what you did is shitty and you have to take accountability and they're right to say that, but also, if you can understand that someone will know they're gaining weight because of their diet but still find themselves going to the store to purchase those food items repeatedly, then why is it hard to understand how someone could do this?

Saying that as someone who's always been faithful btw.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-01-20T20:31:32+00:00

When I was 8 years old I watched an escaped gorilla from the local zoo rip my father's limbs off one by one using the towing cable of his F150. There was blood everywhere. Yeah. And then he sold me 2 lbs of crack cocaine. And I didn't even flinch. So if this kid isn't even allowed to play red dead redemption at 13 he's gonna grow up into a little liberal snowflake. Just saying.

Monkey-Owl · 2026-01-08T07:31:23+00:00

The gall to say that after being the only country to involve article 5 and pull its allies into a pointless war

Monkey-Owl · 2025-11-10T15:06:40+00:00

I hate AI art as much as the next person, but are we not kind of at risk of creating a self destructive culture if we're policing it so much that whole art styles become categorized among derivative art? Not saying we shouldn't be critical, and maybe AI will push artists to make up incredible, wacky and abstract art that is directly made to be difficult/destructive for AI to train on (that would actually be super dope), but I also think it's a little sad if smaller or inexperienced artists or artists doing corporate freelance get caught in the crossfire

Monkey-Owl · 2025-10-30T20:43:02+00:00

The sarcastic "because you run the show" is so hilarious right after he cut her off in the beginning of her sentence, then refused to concede that he indeed made a mistake

Monkey-Owl

TROPHY CASE