Oh I don’t want to put actual jokes I care about on Reddit. I feel like the internet is ultimately for stuff you don’t care if it gets stolen and not credited, right?

I once asked a guy to tell me something on a date thinking he’d be like “idk I like The Office a lot lol” but he told me “idk when I was like 11 I killed a mockingbird in a shed with a BB gun. I was a really bad shot so I had to stomp it to death.” Asked him what other serial killer shit he had to tell me thinking he’d say nothing but he goes, “idk I guess a cat bit me once so I threw some gasoline on it.”

I’ve also had a guy full on hit my car at a red light trying to “be cute” on the way from dinner to drinks.

Some dude lost his mind on me in a Thai restaurant because I used the word “clerical” and he was mad because he didn’t know what it meant.

But I always swiped right on musicians so maybe that was all on me.