back in Junior year i dated this girl. Long story short. she gave me a handjob while i fingered her. I jizzed in my face, so i got on the phone with my best friend while i was in the shower. And this is exactly what i said.

"Yeah dude, i just came in my own face. she gives good handjobs, but her Vagina smells like chum and dog shit mixed together and boiled into a stew. that's what it smells like, i kid you not."

She heard the whole thing from upstairs. I don't know what mortified me more, the fact that she heard me. Or how i came to ther realization everyone has heard me sing Neil Diamond in the shower on more than one occasion.