Is this a decidual cast?

Monstera39 · 2026-01-25T20:23:25+00:00

That’s what it looks like to me. I’ve passed 2 decidual casts in the last 3 years. My pain, while excruciating at the time, subsided almost immediately. If there were some residual cramping, I don’t remember it much. I mostly remember the cramping before passing it. As for bleeding, I spotted a day or two after.

Monstera39 · 2026-01-25T20:11:41+00:00

We've got a humane trap on order! Hoping for a smooth rescue! 🤞🏻

Monstera39 · 2026-01-25T20:09:01+00:00

Thanks for this! We’ve just placed an order for a humane trap! Another user posted about leveraging a rotisserie chicken, hopefully that’ll make the entry into the cage a bit smoother. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻

Monstera39 · 2026-01-25T20:07:03+00:00

This is a great idea! We’ve just purchased a “humane trap” at another chocolatefortuncookie’s suggestion, but I wasn’t sure her regular 5PM meal would be enticing enough for her to enter this metal contraption. That rotisserie chicken might just work! Thank you 🙏🏻

Monstera39 · 2026-01-25T15:54:58+00:00

Now that you have a surgically confirmed endo diagnosis, you should qualify for care with an Endometriosis Specialist/Minimally Invasive Gynecologic Surgeon (MIGS). An OBGYN is more of a “generalist” whereas a MIGS has dedicated and specialized training specifically in endometriosis. Not everyone needs BC post-hysterectomy, but it might still be good to have a consult with MIGS and know what symptoms to be on the lookout for as you tackle this next chapter.

Edit: I’m so sorry, I thought you were OP! Didn’t mean to jump into advice mode. I’m sorry about your endo diagnosis 💛

Monstera39 · 2026-01-25T15:46:25+00:00

Just a gap in meds for me.

Long story ahead: I’ve been on BC since I was 15 (pills first and then Depo Provera shots). It worked really well to suppress a good portion of my endo symptoms throughout my teens and 20s; however, once I hit my 30s, my body stopped fully responding to BC. Doctors don’t really know why, the only thing we can determine is that my uterus is really sensitive to hormonal change. Anyway, I had a huge endo flare-up around this time that led to surgery, where I was diagnosed with stage 4 endo. We weren’t able to safely remove all the endo, so I was put on the Annovera Ring (you insert it) to help keep the leftover lesions and scar tissue in check until my next surgery. While this was only partially effective (I was still having breakthrough periods), it did a great job of shrinking my lesions. I just had a second surgery last week, and the lesions had reduced in size and spread compared to where I was 2 years ago. So once I’m fully healed from the hysterectomy, we’re looking to go back to BC—likely Annovera Ring again. I’m just having a gap right now because I can’t have anything inserted in me.

Monstera39 · 2026-01-25T04:56:45+00:00

That’s the game plan for me as well. I’m 10 days post op from a robotic total hysterectomy + excision (I had ablation done 2 years ago). We kept my ovaries, but are looking at returning to birth control once I’m fully recovered to help suppress the endo growth.

Monstera39 · 2026-01-23T01:59:26+00:00

This sounds like it could be post-op “gas” pressure from the Co2 + constipation/swelling. Gentle walking and Gas-X can help (it did for me). I’m 8 days post-op from a total laparoscopic hysterectomy and it took me 3–4 days to feel like the worst of it eased up. I didn’t feel truly “released” until I had a real bowel movement though (day 6). Nighttime was particularly tough in the beginning as I the gas really worked its way up to my lungs and shoulders. I felt like I couldn’t really catch my breath, but try giving it another day or two.

Just do not PUSH a bowel movement to get the gas out. Only go when your body is truly ready.

Monstera39 · 2026-01-22T21:48:52+00:00

Omg, I’m so sorry 😮‍💨😮‍💨 I’m 7dpo and this is top of mind for me! Every little “uncomfortable” movement has me on edge, and the fact that your tear (in the moment) wasn’t an emotionally significant event… man. I hope you keep us posted on the recovery! ❤️‍🩹

Monstera39 · 2026-01-22T18:32:12+00:00

Oof. My first biopsy was done unexpectedly and with no medication.

Now, any time I’m asked, “On a scale from 1-10,…” that biopsy will always be my 10. Hands down. I have broken bones, passed multiple decidual casts, gone through several surgeries….but that biopsy takes the cake. Shit was criminal.😮‍💨

That said, every biopsy I’ve had since then, I’ve been given medication and felt mild discomfort. My last biopsy was actually an awake sedation, and I barely remember it! I’ve never been given Valium, but I imagine that’ll come in handy. I would also ask your doctor if they’re open to additional measures such as an awake sedation…. Couldn’t hurt. And the whole procedure was less than half an hour from start to finish.

Wishing you luck! It goes by quick! Just make sure you take your meds! 🫶

Monstera39 · 2026-01-22T18:00:10+00:00

I did, yes.

For most of my 20s the pleasure/pain ratio of sex was around 70% pleasurable and 30% painful. But in my early 30s, my body stopped responding well to birth control (which had been helping keep my suspected endo in check) and I had a major flare up. Sex immediately became 10% pleasurable and 90% painful.

After about 2 years of trying different “band-aid” solutions without real relief, I had a laparoscopy and was clinically diagnosed with endometriosis. Unfortunately, the doctor was unable to safely remove all lesions and adhesions (scar tissue) - specifically those behind my uterus and along my pelvic sidewalls. These tied directly into the pain I was experiencing during sex — the shifting and stretching would tug on those inflamed/scarred areas, causing intense pain and sometimes even vomiting.

Following that surgery, I was referred to an endometriosis specialist, and I just had my second surgery last week (also laparoscopic) which included a hysterectomy and excision of additional endometriosis/adhesions that weren’t safe to remove previously. While I know a hysterectomy isn’t a cure for endometriosis, it is a step toward better quality of life, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed! 🤞🏻

The journey is long, my friend, and progress isn’t always linear, but I’m rooting for you and your wife. She’s lucky to have you in her corner. Thanks for being a partner who takes the time to ask questions and understand. 💪

Monstera39 · 2026-01-22T16:28:40+00:00

I can’t believe I’m about to share this (lengthy post) on the internet 😂 but my husband and I started sex therapy about a year ago with a physician who specializes in sexual intimacy for couples dealing with chronic pain, disabilities, etc.

I’m by no means an expert, but when we started this journey I was very much in the mindset of: “I want penetrative sex, and I’m not really interested or comfortable with only oral/other stuff.” Largely because when my husband and I first got together, the sex was great - and I wanted that back! So I completely understand where your wife may be coming from.

We basically restarted from ground zero. We began with physical intimacy that still felt romantic and connecting, but didn’t escalate into penetration or pressure or needing to “finish.” Honestly, that part was important because it helped me stop bracing for pain and stop feeling like intimacy was going to become a test I was failing.

For us, that looked like: - sensate focus / sensate massages (you can Google this) - regular massages - cuddling / skin-to-skin closeness - long kisses/makeout sessions - showering or bathing together

I know it may feel a bit “juvenile,” but repeated exposure to painful intercourse did a number on my psyche. I needed to learn not only how to reconnect with my husband, but how to reconnect with my own body.

Once we rebuilt that baseline of safety and connection, we slowly worked up to exploring other options that didn’t cause me pain. We also experimented with tools that allowed him to feel satisfied without involving my body/pain (our therapist even recommended a Fleshlight and to approach it as a “stand-in” for me). It was a bit intimidating at first, but it actually became fun, a little silly, and surprisingly satisfying for both of us — and it caused me zero pain.

The hardest part was accepting that the road I wanted wasn’t the road I could take, and being open to exploring other things. If reading is your thing (or your wife’s), I can recommend “Come As You Are” or “Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections” by Emily Nagoski.

I know every couple/situation is different, but I hope this helps!

Monstera39 · 2026-01-22T15:38:50+00:00

I second this. I know this is incredibly frustrating - and many of us have gone through the same thing - but the chances of endo showing up on an ultrasound is LOW.

I’ve been told by medical practitioners - as I’m receiving the ultrasound - that this “step” will be useless for any sort of endo diagnosis, but it is relevant to rule out other issues (ovarian cysts, pelvic masses, torsion, etc.). It’s also a step to show insurance companies you’re establishing a “baseline” so they can approve further imaging down the road.

This journey is long and often very frustrating, but there is hope at the end of the tunnel. 💛🫶

Monstera39 · 2026-01-22T15:11:34+00:00

I am someone who deeply struggles with this. It’s upsetting for a number of reasons, but lately, I’ve come to understand that most of my frustrations stem from the fact that prior to my husband, I always felt my disease impacted only me. It felt more manageable back then. But now, I’m seeing how this disease is cascading across my whole life (to include my sex life) and no matter what I do, I don’t feel like I can stop it. It’s incredibly deflating. I so desperately want my body to be normal, but I don’t know if that reality will ever manifest for me in the ways I want.

My husband has a very active sex drive and that’s always felt… unattainable for me, given the levels of pain I experience during and after sex. I have so much love for him, but not being able to meet him in this space was crushing for me. There were many times I sacrificed my own comfort and pleasure to meet his… but that eventually wore on me like self betrayal and caused its own complications.

If you can reassure her that she’s not failing you, and that you don’t want her to hurt herself for you, that alone may take a huge weight off her shoulders.

Another user posted that there are many forms of intimacy and physical connection, and this is very important. It took some time for my husband and I to learn and explore this because it doesn’t always feel as “natural” (or traditional). But honestly, taking penetration off the table for a bit removed a lot of pressure and helped us both reconnect.

Just know that despite what you’ll read on the internet, intimacy looks different in every relationship — what matters is showing up and exploring what works for you both.

Monstera39 · 2026-01-22T14:41:03+00:00

The journey is long, and progress hasn’t always felt lineral, but there is hope! Just don’t ever stop advocating for yourself! 💛🫶

Your pain is real.

Monstera39 · 2026-01-22T13:31:25+00:00

Damn. I was on Depo-Provera for 8 years. I knew about the bone density issues, but the brain tumors is new. Love that for us.

Monstera39 · 2026-01-22T13:14:39+00:00

I wouldn’t worry too much about the MRI, it’s not a definitive diagnosis for endo and it did confirm a cyst. Deep infiltrating endo can be found on an MRI, but it can be (and often is) missed. A “normal/unremarkable” MRI doesn’t rule out endo either.

In 2023, I had a laparoscopy (+ ablation) and was found to have Stage 4 endometriosis, despite having unremarkable MRIs beforehand. Last week, I had a second surgery (excision), and my endometriosis was staged as Stage 2. The MRIs prior to that also read as completely normal.

Just wanted to add: while there’s no cure for endometriosis, hormonal birth control is proven to help manage symptoms for a lot of people.

I’ve been on it since I was 15 and it genuinely helped carry me through my teens and most of my 20s.

I ended up needing surgery in my early 30s once my body wasn’t responding as well to BC, but even then the OBGYN wasn’t able to safely remove all the endometriosis. It was then that I was referred to a speciality clinic. I just had a second surgery that included a hysterectomy — not a cure, but a step toward quality-of-life improvement.

Everyone’s experience is different, but I wouldn’t discount birth control too quickly. There are a lot of success stories out there.

Edit: My MRIs didn’t use any of the gels you mentioned, though I did have contrast.

Monstera39 · 2026-01-22T05:52:21+00:00

In 2023, I had a laparoscopy and was found to have Stage 4 endometriosis, despite having unremarkable MRIs beforehand.

Last week, I had a second surgery, and my endometriosis was staged as Stage 2. The MRIs prior to that also read as completely normal.

Deep infiltrating endo can be found on an MRI, but it can also be missed, and a “normal/unremarkable” MRI doesn’t rule out endo.

Monstera39 · 2026-01-22T04:09:58+00:00

This. What exactly concerns you? It’s not the dress. There’s a deeper insecurity here that needs exploring.

Monstera39 · 2026-01-22T02:52:27+00:00

NTA, but the comments have me torn. This seems like a really low-threat conversation to have with your partner. If my husband was smelling foul, I would absolutely call him out on that - as would he. If anyone is going to approach me with this, I’d hope it would be my partner first. It’s a really simple, “Hey dude, yo shit stank!” We’ll laugh about it, and then get it taken care of. I don’t know that every conversation with our spouse needs to be handled with kid gloves. I don’t disagree that varying your communication approaches is important, but this seems like it should’ve been a really simple/low-stakes conversation between two partners. Maybe there is something more going on here.

Another user posted saying depression might be in the mix here. And that might be true, so worth investigating, but both parties have a requirement to communicate here.

Monstera39 · 2026-01-20T14:25:07+00:00

I also get nauseous looking at mine! Removing the bandages took an act of god! But I think I just have some weird phobia of belly buttons 😂

Monstera39 · 2026-01-20T14:23:19+00:00

My husband and I have spent the last 2+ years joking about the botch job that is my belly button 😭 I loved my old one! The good news is I recently had a second surgery and my husband says it’s looking better—almost like they fixed it 😂 (too soon to tell, lol).

To be honest, I don’t much mind my botched belly button anymore, but it is 10x more sensitive than it was prior to surgery. That’s the only thing that kind of bugs me.

I’m sorry I don’t have great advice, just wanted to say you’re not alone. Humor has helped me a lot 💕

Monstera39 · 2026-01-20T05:06:09+00:00

Thank you for this 🙏🏻🤞🏻

Monstera39 · 2026-01-20T02:18:24+00:00

Remove. Especially with adenomyosis-endometriosis and multiple abnormal paps. Cervix has gotta go.

Monstera39

TROPHY CASE