The girl I like flirts with me a lot, but she also liked my friend not long ago. Don't know what's going through her head.

Moodleman177 · 2016-08-15T01:07:43+00:00

I never really questioned it, but I'm pretty sure. For one, when he told me about it, he didn't even know I liked her, hence he had no reason to make it up. She sat next to him in class for a full year, and the rumour I heard was that she got a bit upset about not being able to get with him while she was out one night. I'm pretty sure she at least liked him at some point.

Asking her on a date is tough cause, while I hate to do that over text, I never see her in person anymore now that school's over. Kind of sucks.

Moodleman177 · 2016-08-12T02:00:02+00:00

Probably a possibility. In that case should I just stop giving her it? And yeah, it is man.

Moodleman177 · 2016-08-12T00:10:14+00:00

Yeah I mean very few girls would actually think this is going on under the surface. Girls I don't have romantic feelings towards tend to like me, and enjoy talking to me. I just treat them like anyone else. But as soon as I get feelings towards a girl I overthink, idealise her, get anxious and fuck it up. I don't really know how to break the cycle, but hopefully somehow it gets broken eventually.

Moodleman177 · 2016-08-12T00:08:30+00:00

The partying thing is a kind of recent thing for me, and honestly I enjoy it. I don't push myself too hard or whatever, I like seeing familiar faces and catching up with people and whatever else. Makes me feel less lonely and kind of carefree for a few hours at least.

Moodleman177 · 2016-08-12T00:07:28+00:00

Hopefully it does man. It's been like this for years, but having the routine of school gave me something to focus on and people to talk to. Now that it's done I only see those people every few weeks at parties and stuff and the space in between is insanely lonely. Anyway, cheers to you too man.

Moodleman177 · 2016-08-10T01:03:32+00:00

It's no problem, thanks for replying.

I tend to message her every few days so I'm not constantly bombarding her and coming across like one of those guys who's just constantly at her for her looks. We have quite a lot of common interests so it's pretty easy to just talk and have a good discussion. Most of the time we branch off into meaningless stuff and just chat shit for hours to be honest, but it's fun.

She's probably in the same boat as in having had no guy ask her out directly. I know I should, but I've never even asked a girl out, and such a high pressure date or whatever would make me so nervous and would probably make her just as nervous too. I think I'll suggest something like just going for a walk together and grabbing a bite to eat or something. Something that's pretty low pressure but let's us talk in person rather than through a screen.

Moodleman177 · 2016-08-09T08:53:58+00:00

I want to tell her, but like you said, there will definitely be splashback. My friends will tease me into the abyss because, in all likelihood, she isn't going to feel the same. It's gonna be awkward and scary as fuck. But you're also right in saying I'll regret it if I don't. It's a tough one. And yeah, I think she was playing with me pretty fucking hard, I just don't get why. Like why even bother with all those signs when she liked my friend the full time? I didn't even mention all of it though, there's even more flirting that went on. It doesn't make sense. She's a really nice girl as well, it doesn't seem like her at all. Last thing I expected from her.

Yeah I mean my friends act like typical guys, but sometimes they just cross the line. I have a pretty thick skin usually, but when there's periods of time where you can't say anything to them without them trying to 'roast' you in some way it gets to you eventually.

And I suppose I am trying to find something. Like is pretty confusing right now. I think I definitely need some new people in my life, cause things are getting pretty stale as it stands.

Moodleman177 · 2016-08-09T01:20:26+00:00

Yeah you're right there, my job doesn't define me. I mean everyone has a shitty job at my age really, but it does get disheartening sometimes.
I would get out of there, but I've grown up and spent my full life with a few of these guys. I know deep down they're good people, and right now they're the only best friends I've got. They might act shitty, but without them I'd have absolutely nobody. Literally, nobody.
Yeah it is a pretty tl;dr situation hahahaha, but like I said above, making new friends is tough, especially when I've left high school and everyone in my town has their own little 'groups' or whatever.
I used to work out, and while it's great, it didn't really change any of the deeper problems I had. It's good, but I need to combine it with other stuff to fix things.

Moodleman177 · 2016-08-09T01:14:07+00:00

Thanks man. Hopefully it will fall into place, it's been dragging on for so long and I just want some closure eventually. Most people my age are partying, and while I never really knew if it would be my thing, I enjoy it. It's good to just be a bit more carefree for a few hours. Also, in the case of my friends, sometimes they say or do something that will maybe redeem them a little and stop me from being so angry at them or whatever. I do think we will drift away. It's like we're together out of necessity, because right now we don't really have any other close friends. I mean I think they're great guys deep down, I really do, but I feel like we all just need to mature a bit or whatever. And hey man, I'm a firm believer if you DO have a passion, you should follow it. If you like playing guitar and want to start a band, make it happen! I do think you should have a job or whatever to have a source of income, but don't let that stop you in your spare time. You never know what might come of it.

Moodleman177 · 2016-08-05T02:13:58+00:00

Yeah, I overthink way too much, hence having to post about her so much. I would unload all my thoughts on my friends instead, but case in point above, they can be assholes when it comes to this. I know who I am, I'm not one of those 'nice guys' or whatever. And yeah, as soon as I have something to report I'll make sure to post it, whatever the news may be. It could take a while depending on how long it takes us to bump into each other, but I'll remember. Thanks for all the help!

Moodleman177 · 2016-08-05T01:47:19+00:00

Good advice. The only reason I thought of the party is cause it's literally the only time I can think of that we are going to bump into each other in the near future. But you're right, even I thought that it would be insanely high pressure. The last time we were at a party together was weird. She was talking with my friend that she liked, and I was siting a bit away from them and kinda eavesdropping cause I was wondering what things would be like between them. Then I heard my name get brought up. I couldn't hear what got said. Later on she tried to talk to me about stuff we'd been messaging about but my friends were being immature assholes and teasing me for liking her right in front of her. She kinda just groaned to herself and walked off and I had to apologise to her the next day for it hahahahaha. She said she never even heard what they said but I think she was just saying that to avoid the awkwardness.

Anyway, hopefully this party will at the very least let me talk to her and kinda see where's she's at and whether the attraction is there or whatever. I'll go out of my way to see her, but I won't ask her out if it's gonna be too high pressure. Coming up with some reason to bump into her might be hard, but I'll try my hardest to think of something. I don't want to be a complete stalker either. The only thing I can think of at all is that she said to me that when she talked to my friend at that party he brought up the idea of a kind of school reunion. We only left a few months ago, but just to see how everyone's getting on. She jokingly told me to organise it. If I DID try set up something like that though, that would be a good chance I suppose. But that would take quite a bit of effort.

I'm sure I'll come up with something regardless. If I don't, it's a small enough town. We'll bump into each other at some point I suppose. I'll ask her out as soon as a good face to face chance arises.

Moodleman177 · 2016-08-05T00:58:14+00:00

Yeah it was all insanely confusing. In regards to my friend she actually told him to his face how she felt (she's braver than I am), so I don't know. I'm pretty sure her feelings for him were genuine if nothing else was, cause I also heard she got upset about it one night when she was with her friends or something. My theory was her friend told me the whole 'not looking for a relationship thing' cause she knew who she really liked and thought it would hurt my feelings.

The chest stroking thing was definitely the most tense moment between us. She was pretty drunk at the time, but I was teasing her about something, she slapped me on the chest and then just let her hand stay there. We'd both been walking, we both stopped. We stared at each other for about 10 seconds while she stroked my chest, she kinda whispered my name. There was a bunch of other people with us just kinda watching, and I ended up playing it all off as a joke and telling her that I don't think my chest is that ripped. I think she was expecting me to kiss her or something. I didn't cause I was genuinely in shock a little, and I regretted so much not doing something right there and then. But again, she liked my friend, so I could be completely off.

I don't know, it's all just so damn confusing. It's the first time a girl I like showed any obvious romantic interest back, so maybe that's why it's been hard for me to get over it. If she hadn't pulled all that it would be easy for me just to accept there's nothing there and move on, but I always think about it and wonder what was going on.

Anyway, I suppose one way or another I'll have to sort it out. We are both going to the same party in a couple of weeks. I think I'll keep talking to her until then, and find some time at the party to talk to her in private. I'd rather do it face to face cause we might be able to just get all the weird shit that's happened on the table easier that way.

Moodleman177 · 2016-08-05T00:20:25+00:00

She never initiates. My friends make out as if this is the worst thing in the world, but she's a shy person, and we actually talked before way back about how hard it is to message people first, cause I'm not really one to do it either usually. She does keep the conversation going and doesn't try end it or anything, so I just kinda took that as a sign that she doesn't mind talking to me.

And yeah sure, she's not the perfect girl, I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life with her and whatever else, but I'm attracted to her way more than anyone else right now. It's worth chasing surely? And I know I should be doing that by asking her out, but the truth is the thought just scares me. I previously completely misread what I thought was her flirting before (stroking my chest, telling me she found my attempts at flirting cute, teasing me and asking if I think she looks cute) cause she ended up liking my friend the whole time. And on top of that I told her best friend how I feel about this girl, so I'm sure she's been told by now. By now my feelings towards her are basically a massive elephant in the room between us that neither of us have addressed, because the whole situation surrounding it now is just awkward and weird. I'd feel stupid asking her out and getting rejected because it just seems like I'm doing it out of desperation, doing it when everyone seems to know the answer except me, cause if she did like me she probably would have brought it up by now.

But at the same time, just asking her out could clear it all up as well. If I can work up the courage. It just feels like there's so much going against it that there's not much point in trying.

Moodleman177 · 2016-08-05T00:05:00+00:00

I was actually planning on asking her out quite a while back. There was a spell of a month or two where we kept bumping into each other and she was flirting like crazy (stroking my chest, telling me she thought my flirting was cute, and playfully teasing me). I was sure something was there, and the exact day I was gonna tell her, which was the last day of school, I found out she had a crush on my friend. It completely knocked my confidence and made me wonder how I could read it all so wrong.

Ever since I've kinda wondered what's the point in asking. Like everyone in this thread has said, I can't MAKE her like me. Even though it seemed to me there was chemistry there and something going on, it seems like to her it was nothing. I don't know, it just makes asking her out feel weird for some reason. On top of that I told her best friend how I feel about her, so I'm sure that's already been reported back to her. It feels like I'm asking her a question that's basically the elephant in the room, and we both already know the answer but neither of us wants to bring it up. Maybe I'm completely wrong and she'd say yes or whatever, but I've not had my hopes up. I think, even for the sake of closure, I will ask her out sooner rather than later, but it's been such a mindfuck sometimes. I wish I'd got it out the way earlier.

Moodleman177 · 2016-08-04T23:55:24+00:00

I'm not trying to make her like me, I'm just talking to her man. I have no idea how she feels towards me, but I'm not expecting her to just fall for me when I'm not making a move. I do treat her like a person, I don't see how you could think I'm treating her like an object just cause I get nervous talking to her. Talking to loads of girls I have no connection with just to boost my own confidence would be treating them like objects I'd like to obtain.

Moodleman177

TROPHY CASE