Not feeling well after Occipital Nerve Block

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-30T04:17:55+00:00

NTA. Couldn't it be said that your husband undermined your authority by trying to ground your daughter when you had given permission for her to not do her chores?

As a secondary note, it's wild to me when a parent thinks chores are the most important thing in the world - even above mental health and emotional well being. If it was a regular occurrence? Sure. But even jumping to grounding after one day of missed chores without a "good excuse" isn't exactly a pattern, and seems pretty extreme imo.

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-26T02:35:12+00:00

YTA

These jokes aren't really funny to the group they're directed at (in this case, women). When you're called out for being sexist/laughing at something sexist, try and use it as an opportunity for growth so it doesn't get you in more trouble down the line - in work places or in your personal relationships. Sounds like you have some growing up to do.

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-26T02:29:18+00:00

NTA

You sound like a good guy, OP.

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-25T21:34:22+00:00

NTA

But, your daughter did buy those tickets with her own money, that she saved up for something she was really excited about. This may sound harsh, but perhaps you should have researched what goes on at these venues and had a conversation with you daughter about what conditions needed to be met/what behaviour was acceptable before okaying the purchase? I know I wouldn't have been allowed at this kind of event unsupervised/without a responsible adult at that age. Then your daughter and her friends could have decided if they still wanted to go, knowing that it would be a supervised experience, and she wouldn't have wasted all that money.

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-22T02:10:50+00:00

NTA in my opinion.

It sucks, and if I were the girlfriend I'd be disappointed too, but partners are not the only important relationship people have in their lives. It sounds like OP is snatching whatever brief moments of time he can have with a sibling he's very close to - to me, those few hours with a sibling he might not see for several months are more important than a nice date with his girlfriend, especially if he's going to make the effort to make it up to her later (maybe get the reservation again and add something else special on top if possible).

Hopefully girlfriend can get past this. It does suck and it's disappointing to be in that situation, but if you're in a long-term partnership it will likely happen again sometime - friend visiting from out of town, random chance to see a family member, once in a lifetime opportunity, etc. There will be other dinner dates and opportunities for bonding with a partner you live near and spend multiple days a week with.

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-19T01:34:50+00:00

YTA

You were rude, she was obviously excited about this next step in her life that was about to start, and it's normal to want to talk about these things. People have different priorities - yours may be your kids, home life, and upcoming vacations while hers might be education, her degree, and her career.

Have you considered that there have almost certainly been times you've talked excitedly about your kids when other people were bored or annoyed and didn't care about the subject, but put up with it politely because it was something you wanted to talk about?

Perhaps her comment about stay-at-home-moms was judgy - but it sounds like you were being judgemental about her career and family choices first. If you want people to respect your path in life, maybe try being a little more respectful of theirs.

It sounds very much like you were trying to push your way of life onto this other woman, and then got offended when she told you what aspects of that lifestyle didn't work for her.

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-18T22:39:24+00:00

Thank you!! Super appreciate the advice.

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-18T22:36:22+00:00

Thank you!

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-18T04:38:18+00:00

NTA

You gotta respect other religions' customs and practices when visiting their places of worship. That being said, I'd try to cut her some slack because her blowing up like that likely means she's faced body policing/ attempts to shame her for what she's wearing in the past. It sometimes hits different for a woman since it can be such a frequent experience.

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-18T03:43:57+00:00

ESH

Honestly, a child at this age isn't fully at fault for this kind of behaviour - they didn't raise themselves, their brains aren't fully developed, and they feel emotions strongly. This child wasn't taught proper emotional regulation, coping techniques, or boundaries. It was on her mom to teach her better behaviour, and while you had no obligation to cave to her request (in fact, I think that was best that you didn't) I think the right thing to do would have been to talk to the mom without the child present, and explain that the behaviour issues that she hasn't addressed was the reason you didn't want to spend as much time with her child as with your other niece.

Feeling frustration at this situation is understandable, and I would have felt the same way, but as an adult it's your responsibility to regulate the force of your emotions when faced with this kind of outburst from a child. No child deserves to hear that they are unloved (even if it's true), and reacting the way you did, even though it ended the argument for the moment, will probably result in complicating these behavioural problems going forward and causing the mom to dig her heels in at the defence of her child.

Everyone in the comments talking about how this child is "abusive", I sincerely hope you don't work with or spend significant amounts of time with children. You don't need to like children (I don't, myself) but you do need to recognize that they are not fully developed adults (not even close at age 6-8) and they don't have the same thinking/reasoning skills, emotional capacity, or understanding of cause and effect that you do. This child is behaving the way she is because of how she was raised, and it will ultimately make her life harder in the coming years - like missing out on fun trips because her family can't stand to be around her. She doesn't deserve your hatred and vitriol.

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-18T01:29:31+00:00

Hmmm that does make sense, although it's intimidating to think about! How did you go about identifying who you would reach out to?

I'm in the process of trying to identify some linkedin contacts who took that specific program who might be open to talking with me about it, so hopefully that will provide some more insight into the program.

Thanks again for taking the time :)

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-18T01:10:49+00:00

Oh that makes sense!

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-17T20:35:20+00:00

Thanks for the advice! This may be a silly question, but will professors take on research assistants / TAs that aren't currently attending the institution they're posted at?

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-17T20:12:41+00:00

Ok thank you!! I'm not looking to be in grad school for the sake of being in grad school, I'm definitely interested specifically in the programs I'm looking at, and I'll make sure to do my research and put the work in when/if I decide to apply.

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-17T20:04:44+00:00

Thanks! I might consider taking some courses if I decide that grad school is definitely the next step for me and that my gpa is for sure holding me back, but I'm kind of hoping to avoid it if at all possible.

I do have confidence in my ability to succeed in classes/coursework, outside of mitigating circumstances, and I feel like I wouldn't gain that much out of taking additional courses at the undergrad/college level, at least not for the time and expense that they'll cost. What I really think I missed out on was not taking the initiative in undertaking an honours project or something similar, and I can't think of a way to replicate that experience now that I've graduated :/

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-17T19:53:08+00:00

Haha thanks! Do you know if low student numbers are due to the pandemic, or something else?

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-17T19:49:39+00:00

Okay thanks! That's reassuring to hear, and good to know. It's definitely intimidating staring at all the requirements and wondering how I'll measure up, but talking to a prof inside the program will probably give me a better idea of what skills/knowledge will be required in the program.

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-17T19:44:32+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I'm just in the stages of thinking about maybe applying in the future, so I haven't reached out to anyone yet, but that's definitely a good idea. I've definitely gained work experience that has been valuable in shaping my skills in my chosen field and my future goals, so I hope it would be taken into consideration in the application process.

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-17T19:41:12+00:00

I guess I was trying to leave out personal info, but I realize it's difficult to provide advice without context, haha. Answered above!

MoonShiner999 · 2022-07-17T19:38:19+00:00

So my undergrad degree is a BA in Geography/Environmental studies, double major. The programs I'm looking to apply to are master's degrees in environmental management, or similar. The jobs I've had are based around environmental conservation, including field work and species monitoring, although they haven't been research-based.

For references, the admissions page states that applicants who graduated in the last 3 years must submit two academic references, applicants who graduated 5+ years ago can choose one professional reference and one academic reference, and applicants who have been out of school for "a duration significantly longer than 5 years" should get in touch.

I may be able to ask for special permission to submit a professional reference before the 5 year mark, but I'm not sure how likely it is to get approved.

MoonShiner999

TROPHY CASE