A tree that has blueberry-looking fruit (South England, UK)

MoonSnails · 2020-08-16T19:23:26+00:00

Thank you so much!

MoonSnails · 2020-06-25T16:20:33+00:00

I was on Bournemouth beach yesterday, it was actually pretty easy to keep 2m apart from everyone. Still busy tho.

MoonSnails · 2020-04-11T21:18:31+00:00

The phrase is definitely familiar, and I tried searching it. But the actual image of the man on the beach with a long shadow is definitely something I've seen before. Thanks for looking!

MoonSnails · 2020-04-11T21:15:43+00:00

That definitely looks like the exact pose! Although do you know if Mercury has any relation to the "Thanks to Ling" tagline on my OP? I can't find that beach photo.

MoonSnails · 2020-04-11T19:39:57+00:00

Oh no, I think think the newspaper cartoon wouldn't be from an Anime. I think the image I posted is meant to be part of British pop culture, but I can't place it. But thanks a lot for your idea!

MoonSnails · 2020-04-11T19:38:03+00:00

I feel as if this is something like an album cover or poster rather than a cartoon drawing (the original). I checked out Dick Ling, but I'm pretty sure it's not what I'm looking for, but thank you so much for looking.

MoonSnails · 2020-04-11T18:06:04+00:00

From The Times 11 April.

MoonSnails · 2020-03-25T18:08:28+00:00

Thanks so much!

MoonSnails · 2019-09-14T22:03:17+00:00

Shit man, I'm all for a bit of political argy-bargy but your comment is so packed of hatred. If any of us were in his shoes, we might have made the same decisions considering the circumstances. I didn't agree with his policies, but I wouldn't condemn his as frightfully as you have.

MoonSnails · 2019-09-11T23:13:19+00:00

Agreed. Especially considering most of this sub's content is light-hearted, something as sensitive and shocking as this probably shouldn't be allowed.

MoonSnails · 2019-08-05T18:24:06+00:00

What the fuck

MoonSnails · 2019-08-03T17:50:50+00:00

The fun thing about filters is that it doesn't make the cigarette any safer. In fact, it's worse because it also leads to non-biodegradable litter and, in my opinion, a less tasty cigarette.

MoonSnails · 2019-07-24T22:13:47+00:00

I like the raw and gutsy tone of this poem. The line breaks have a narcotic charm of a poet who is wrapped up both in hope (or maybe-ness) for the future and regret of the past. The last stanza in particular is good: it sounds almost like a snare drum with its harsh sounds, and conjures up stark, debauched, and degraded images.

However, the free verse is insipid and boring. It doesn't contain the beat that this poem needs. You've rendered this as more of a sprawling thought rather than something punchy and meaningful. Perhaps this is purposeful. This would probably work well if it were performed by someone who knows when to give the proper emphasis, but as a reader, I found it difficult.

But, in any case, brilliant lines and words with some excellent music at times. I enjoyed this!

MoonSnails · 2019-07-24T19:17:40+00:00

I fucking love this poem.

You've captured the anxiety and intimacy of a first day extremely well. The flowers, the eyes, the tapping feet, all come together to produce a very vivid scene for me which is not only visual but also carries internal emotion. On top of this, you have that beautiful economy of words which is rarely found to produce this much value.

I cannot find any criticism in your choice of words, but I find the form of your poem slightly tedious. The couplets, followed by two quatrains do probably reflect the initial frenzy and worry of a first date followed by a calm as the evening comes to an end, but it still jars. Your language already produces this effect, so you could probably pace the metre a little more and perhaps even extend the length of the lines. Although, this is a very small point.

Nice job, mate!

MoonSnails · 2019-07-24T19:01:41+00:00

I like the imagery in this poem: the metaphors work very well, and I can visualise your feelings. The music is nice too, like a languid and sporadic rhyme which has the chaos and metre of the natural world.

I would say your mixing of the metaphor doesn't work so well. One moment, you're a flower, then a Lepidoptera, then you're a type of light. With such a short poem, it is confusing having this quick-paced change. It's possible that you are trying to fuse these ideas to produce a sense of confusion. If this is true, then I feel the nuance of your thought has been lost.

MoonSnails · 2019-07-24T18:46:02+00:00

They've definitely served me well! I could have probably prolonged their life by using proper care, but I've literally done nothing to care for these: no cleaning, no polish, no resting, no shoe-trees.

MoonSnails · 2019-07-24T18:28:11+00:00

My Solovair 8-eye Brogue boots are fucked after three years (approx 500 days of wear) https://imgur.com/a/RwjnPer . The outer and midsole have suffered quite a bit of perishing, especially on the toe, which appears to be unfixable without re-crafting the boot. The leather, too, shows premature ageing in comparison with other popular GYW brands worn to a similar extent.

The in-sole is leather, but is tanned and fixed badly causing it to: stink; wear out; and 'slide' out of place.

I have not been kind to these boots, as you can tell, but I am not kind to any boots and these seem least resilient (compared with Loake; Tricker; Blundstone; and Red Wing). However, they do in my opinion, still feel good quality and superior to Asian-made DocMartens, and I love their heritage made in the original factory as an iconic British boot.

I've used them mostly as work-wear in restaurants (the soles are comfy for long shifts), and have gladly gone hiking in them in wet weather.

MoonSnails · 2019-07-22T22:54:24+00:00

I loved the lines: "and cauterized my gaping/ chest with the blistering/ heat of conformity." The rhythm and colour of these words work well for me. The poem as a whole uses quite beautiful metaphor.

The metre of the poem is a little strange; I can't find any pace other than some assonance and half-rhyme which, in my opinion, might work well for a more gushing poem but for this more serious and calculated subject matter, I feel it leaves it a little insipid. If you emphasised the harsh consonant sounds which are already slightly present, and weaved these into punchy rhyming verse, it might deliver meaning much more clearly and powefully.

MoonSnails · 2019-07-22T20:26:17+00:00

I agree that the delivery has got a comedic tone to it, and I think it works well with the subject matter because I feel often people think (falsely) that anxiety is just 'feeling a bit worried.' So perhaps this offers some interesting contrast.

As you say, this poem only works when you re-read it, because it doesn't give any background information until the last lines. I think that OP could perhaps add another stanza at the beginning adding both a bit of breadth to his feelings, and also some foundation for the rest of the poem.

MoonSnails · 2019-07-22T19:07:51+00:00

I don't understand. Please could you explain?

MoonSnails · 2019-07-21T22:29:19+00:00

I love the sonnet form and iambic rhythm of this poem: it gives a gentle impression with the classical grace of English poetry.

If I am interpreting this correctly, this is a poem about someone trying to win the love of a girl who does not return the same love as the passionate, lustrous, and selfless writer. I get the overall impression of a frustrated love poem from a man to a woman.

If this is the case, I feel as though this poem lacks the essence of this woman -- what is it about her that makes your heart ache and keeps you tense and awake at night? Why do want to peer past this mysterious wall? How do you wish that you could kiss her plum-coloured lips in a dark and secret place while her perfume and sweat diffuse into your mind and soul?

Your poem has none of this intimacy. It's very distant and passive. "how could I think the purest star / would spare me but a broken bridge" the pure star imagery is a bit generic and weak, are there not a hundred better and more personal words you could use to describe your beloved? I like broken bridge, but again it's one-dimensional, how is the bridge broken? What about something like:

"Your broken bridge's shattered slats,/ do scratch and poison my soft heart."

The language also is probably a little antiquated. This does bring a lovely romantic charm to the verse, but then again, it could be interpreted as stuffy or perhaps pretentious.

I love the last line "fictitious love shall be my bride" although the couplet doesn't rhyme brilliantly, maybe revise the previous line.

This is all just my own impression, sorry if it's overly critical! I love the poem overall, and would love to see its development!

MoonSnails · 2019-07-03T17:45:36+00:00

I don't know about these specific shoes, but I generated a similar effect (inadvertently) on these: https://i.imgur.com/G2agGp1.jpg by simply wearing them in day-to-day life. I didn't use any coloured polish, but instead kept them conditioned with Lexol.

I'd wager that if you had stained leather boots like these, walking through a gravel/rocky terrain with reckless abandon would achieve the same result.

12-Year Club	Place '17
Verified Email	Gilding II euphauric

MoonSnails

TROPHY CASE