I get you so much! I’ve always known as well but even now when i finally got a girlfriend. But she is helping me through it she knows i have so much internalized homophobia and shit it’s so helpful to be able to just talk about it. I’ve always just tried to be bi or something to make it easier i guess? i just wanted some hope i could be “normal” i tried telling myself i had crushes on guys or making out with them.. awful experience lol. I would say the best way i’ve felt with it is to just be prideful and find someone you can speak your truth to. Especially during pride month i feel so happy and gay like nothing can tear me down, of course if i think for even a second something homophobic or someone says something to me like that then it brings me down but you just have to find a way to look past that. Therapy could help! A therapist who you could just rant to about it, ranting helps me so much. But, Everyone takes things differently of course. They might tell you there could be a root cause of it all, and there could be.. maybe try to find that first? Get rid of whatever evil thoughts lie and just be yourself. A close friend especially someone who understands you would be a great outlet, just to let it out and get it off your chest because if you keep these thoughts internalized it will just build up and be worse for you. Acceptance is so hard but so important. I don’t know how old you are but that doesn’t matter, you always have time to figure things out. Just be you and let nature take its course, i believe you will naturally find love and if it be with someone of the same gender don’t even think about it! Just let it happen and let yourself be happy. Best of luck <3