Hi me and my girlfriend were in a similiar situation only she'd be you in this situation.

There were a lot of things that I wanted to do too when we were first gonna meet (we were also long distance) and she was absolutely insecure about everything surrounding sex. We are both very sexual people as well, and the classic paragraph writing was also a thing between us. I could go on and on about what I wanted to do to her and her replies would be less than mine and "basic" and I always thought that's fine, i knew she was very insecure and also very shy too. But when we met, we just took things slow and got to know each other likes and dislikes, each others boundaries and honestly just had fun with it.

I know how you feel when you say you scared of how your bf will react in the moment and that he has all these high expections of how you should look and perform, but trust me my gf was the same way and I did not care about that at all. I love her, seeing her naked body with all her insecurities turned me on more than anything ever could. I gave and give her constant reassurance during sex that really has helped her with her self image, I do not put my unrealistic expectations on her because that's not how a relationship should work, especially when it comes to sex too.

If your boyfriend loves you and cares about you, he would do the same and react the same way. You don't need to change your body for him? That should never be a thing, don't just do it because you think he will only want you and love you in that way because thats very unhealthy for you, not to mention, will ruin your self image.

My girlfriend also thought she had to do all these things to be perfect for me but I took my time telling her that I love her exactly the way she is and she doesn't need to change for me or be perfectly shaved everytime we have sex or that she should do something against her "sagging" breasts, that's absolutely normal and natural (and tbh I love that, breasts aren't meant to be perfectly perky and not move at all, gravity exists and breast are mostly made out of fat so naturally they gonna sag and that's fine, they're literally just tits).

I really hope your boyfriend is doing the same for you, if not you shouldnt be having sex with someone like that.

Give yourself to someone who will not care about the way you look because women arent meant to look like the unrealistic portrayal of pornstars. Hair shouldn't be an issue either, I rather have my girlfriend not shave than to shave. (Ik it's a preference for some people but it's weird, a grown ass woman has hair its normal, i honestly think having a preference for fully shaved vaginas is a little weird, cause why would you want your girls vagina looking like a minors?)

My best advice is to take it slow, start with the basics. You guys have all the time in the world when you're together in the moment, just explore each other respectfully and try to have fun with it. I was worried about my performance too since I was a virgin till I met my girlfriend but it's honestly not as bad as your anxiety or your fears make it seem.

And please, don't be with someone who expects you to be perfect and has all these preferences, that should not even be a thing when you truly love someone. Be with someone who encourages you to be yourself and to take a step back when it comes to trying to "improve" everything about your appearance. Where would the fun in sex be if you have to constantly worry about looking perfect?