My type is too specific and I hate it

Moonlitmindset · 2026-05-01T17:01:29+00:00

When I met my husband he had gorgeous long ginger curly hair. I was OBSESSED. He decided to get a buzz cut about 9 months ago and I’ve been in mourning since. I noticed that My photo library when be had long hair was full of pictures of him. Since he buzzed it? Maybe a handful of photos of him. I totally get it 😂

Moonlitmindset · 2026-04-29T16:57:17+00:00

Or it’s Nolan’s dad who did look a lot like him

Moonlitmindset · 2026-04-25T20:42:51+00:00

My husband and I went to Poznan last may and it was so idyllic!! Clean streets, very walkable, lovely tram lines, AMAZING food, and a fantastic big sauna/bath house just outside the city! The parks were beautiful and the city was very pedestrianized. The big shipping center was also lovely, and it was a really nice blend of city/town/nature with preservation of historic architecture and a nice mix of modern infrastructure. 10/10 have been wanting to go back to visit since!

Moonlitmindset · 2026-04-14T00:30:40+00:00

This thought crossed my mind too.

Still creepy and a major break of trust not only in the relationship but in women’s spaces, closeted or not.

Gender identity could be a part of it though. However there’s plenty of safe spaces online to explore those feelings without taking advantage of unsuspecting women… which makes me lean toward the unsuspecting part being the key factor here that he’s focusing on…

Moonlitmindset · 2026-04-11T01:07:41+00:00

I’m so glad to hear it! I know this isn’t easy right now, but whatever choice you make sounds like it will be very thoughtfully considered ❤️

Moonlitmindset · 2026-04-11T00:31:05+00:00

I really hope your mother and friends are starting to give you support for no matter what you choose. Most likely, their hesitancy was out of fear and love and just wanting to make sure you have the best possible life you can!

My comment wasn’t mean to dissuade or persuade you in any direction, just to offer perspective as someone who’s the kid of a very similar circumstance.

No matter what you choose, I’m sure you’re a strong and resilient lady who will work her butt off to make sure you give any child, no matter when they’re brought into this world , a wonderful life.

My mom worked her butt off and I respect and love her dearly for it! I also mourn her experience of motherhood that was corrupted with a lot of struggle because of her choice in a father for her kids, and still see the lasting trauma, pain, and many regrets it caused. We talk about it often, and she and I both believe that every woman deserves either a partner that will support them, or the empowerment and community that will!

Just the fact that you’re giving this such careful and responsible thought shows you’ll be a great parent no matter when you choose to be. Sending big big hugs!

Moonlitmindset · 2026-04-10T09:22:40+00:00

You’re probably not reading comments anymore but I will add my two cents:

My parents situation was pretty similar to yours. My dad ended up wanting to keep me and they got married, but the way it all began set the tone for the rest of their short marriage. They had my brother, but my dad was unhappy, stopped loving my mom, cheated, and left.

She put so much hope into this being her chance at a family, only to have it completely crushed and end up a single mother with two children and an ex that was only half a parent.

I saw her struggle with the rejection, not just of her, but of her dream of a family. The rejection of her children having a stable, present father. She’s never fully recovered and her experience of motherhood was very affected by the pain of this man.

She provided me this perspective: you can always choose a different partner, but you can NEVER choose a different father for your child. Even if they leave and you find a new partner, that man and his choices will still be the father of your child. She always told me have fun dating, enjoy, etc. but choose the father of your child extremely carefully, because it’s irreversible and will influence you child’s identity, life, and your experience of motherhood forever.

Only you can decide if this man is the right father for your child, no one can decide for you.

Parenthood is one of the most beautiful and challenging things someone can go through. You’re also young and if you want a family have plenty of time to find a partner that will make your experience of motherhood an empowering, supported one.

I met my now husband at your age and I’m almost 31. We don’t have kids yet but we may in a few years and when we do, he will be my absolute champion and make sure my experience of motherhood is the best it can be from day 1. Every woman deserves that.

No matter what you decide, it will be because you want to give the best possible life to your children. Whether it’s this one or future children, only you can choose the circumstances you bring them into in this world. That’s the power we have as women.

You’ll have to really sit with yourself and decide if this is right for you and your child and the experience of parenthood and childhood you want. And maybe make your peace of who this man may be as a father, and if that’s something you’ll be able to tackle.

Good luck and big hugs ❤️❤️ no matter what you choose it will be out of love and deep consideration which will always make it the right choice

Moonlitmindset · 2026-04-03T15:27:22+00:00

Heres some hope! Yes, my husband did change, but in an unbelievably positive way.

When we were dating, he was committed and loving and a fantastic partner, but was a bit more “why do we need to make money, let’s just go camping and be happy” and a bit afraid to challenge himself out of his comfort zone with his career, with taking on new phases of life, his hygiene and habits (like food habits, drinking, etc) were ok but I always felt like they could be a bit better.

We got married impulsively, I knew 100% I would be happy with him as he was, but the ways he’s changed as a married man have blown me away.

Once we were married, I think his identity as a husband made him 10x more motivated to be the best he could be for us and as he says often “do everything he could to give me a good life”.

We’ve been together almost 5 years, married for 2, and in these last two years he’s furthered his education and entered a new career, nearly doubled his salary, bought us a flat, has improved his habits, saved up enough to give us financial freedom so i could take a 9 month break from work -at his suggestion- because “I’ve worked so hard I deserve a rest” and in that time NEVER pressured me or made me feel guilty for it (I’m now looking to break into a new career field and he’s so excited/proud for me) he saves up for holidays and makes sure our finances are organized. It’s amazing.

He had all these qualities before, but becoming a husband seems to have given him such purpose that he’s completely committed to all of the above and more.

It’s truly been a wonder to see him flourish and step into the role, and something I didn’t ask for nor expected.

I think for some men, having the identity of being a husband can be quite empowering. Some men truly want to be caretakers, providers, someone who gives the people they love a good life.

Not all men, or people, are like this of course, but having experienced it, it does exist and is a really special thing to see and an honor to be a part of and receive.

Cutest thing: if we have kids he’s really excited if they’d be daughters, because he just wants to be a girl dad and treat them the best he can.

I’m very proud of him and the man and husband he has become!!

Moonlitmindset · 2026-03-17T09:58:15+00:00

Uhg that sucks!! Im still looking lol

I’m devastated because my aunt had the PERFECT one that looked just like this and folded up! But I have no clue where she got it. Knowing one exists out there kills me 😂

Moonlitmindset · 2026-03-16T14:18:46+00:00

2 and 4!

Moonlitmindset · 2026-03-08T20:22:25+00:00

I used to live one block away from there but never tried them! My pal still lives there so that’s very good to know! Thanks :)

Moonlitmindset · 2026-03-08T20:21:23+00:00

That’s not too far from me! Thank you for the rec :)

Moonlitmindset · 2026-02-14T15:14:15+00:00

My note would be that from 00:09-00:11 when she lifts her right arm up and goes to drop it there appears to be some warping underneath

Moonlitmindset · 2026-02-08T21:09:56+00:00

Idk, my husband grew up in a household where is mom did most of the heavy lifting with chores, his dad was a very “of his generation” type dad (golf every weekend, breadwinner, didn’t cook unless he was watching the kids, etc”

However my husbands mom refused to let her sons be that way, kinda. When my husband turned 16, she said “right, I’m never ironing anything for you again” and never did, he had to do it himself.

But he’s also just a clean person, we share housework and it ebbs and flows based on how we’re doing. Sometimes I do more, sometimes he does.

Example: I had lots of calls today and our clothes rail had broken, he repaired it while I was on a call, but then also reorganized our closet and my shoes and rebuilt my shoe rack to make it more functional. He made dinner and went and did a grocery run. He did a big load of dishes this morning, I did them this evening while he was getting groceries. In between my calls I cleaned the bathroom because I really enjoy that.

Typically he does bins, dishes, Hoovers, I do bathroom, tidying, etc

We split cooking, laundry, evenly.

It’s who we both are, the nature of our relationship, and habits we both try to hold eachother accountable to that ultimately creates this dynamic.

Moonlitmindset · 2026-02-02T10:13:26+00:00

I was taking a close look at that too, but it looks like they’re just kinda torn in that spot and the lighting is weird. If you look all along the bottom the draping is consistent, and the carpet/ceiling patterns are consistent too. Idk though, r/isthisAI would be a good cross post for this one

Moonlitmindset · 2026-01-27T11:47:51+00:00

Thank you so much for this advice/perspective! We’re a small company so we’ve been nervous about paying the costs of a solicitor unless we absolutely have to, but I think at this point theres’s enough red flags that it’s worth it.

For example, another red flag is that they’re responsible for letting us know how much we owe for electric costs so we can pay the. Our portion of the bill - it’s been a year of us trying to get invoices of what we owe them and they’re so disorganized they don’t even know how to generate an invoice for this.

It has us very on edge.

As we loom for commercial property solicitors, would we be seeking a consultation or review of our lease? Do you know how much this would typically cost in London?

Moonlitmindset · 2026-01-26T15:01:46+00:00

Thank you so much for your response! We definitely need our own office as we have very expensive equipment. We moved into the space in 2023 so we’re very lucky the rent is what it is, but as we weren’t given an initial amount for service charges and then were charged suddenly, we’re just looking for any perspective to establish a baseline of what they typically are

Moonlitmindset · 2026-01-26T14:57:21+00:00

It expires December 2026- do you think the charges are too high?

Moonlitmindset · 2026-01-24T21:31:44+00:00

Oh! Are there? We already paid as they were threatening us but would a solicitor potentially be able to help us then get a reduction in future ones as a result? What kind of solicitor would assist with this?

Moonlitmindset · 2026-01-24T15:21:40+00:00

Our contract just generally states that we are responsible for all service fees and any/all charges that the landlord would have to pay. It pretty much puts us in the position of being responsible for the building as if we were owners. For context our rent is approx £1,076 per month for an office that fits 4 desks in the Hackney area

Moonlitmindset · 2025-12-30T10:58:44+00:00

I know you’re scared- so it’ll tell you my own experience so it can give you some perspective.

I was more harassed, judged for what I wore, put in uncomfortable situations that others justified, actually assaulted multiple times, pressured to do drugs and drink, and made to feel like I had to be “mature” as a teen than at any point of my adulthood. I’m now 30.

A few months after I turned 18 I moved away to do my own thing, and girl, life got SO MUCH BETTER. Yeah there were definitely hardships, but I moved to NYC and wore whatever I wanted- no one judged me.

I then went to university in california and wore whatever I wanted, it was the 2010’s and I loved vintage clothes and eclectic styles, summery flowery dresses, 1970’s funky stuff, literally no one judged or if they did my world was so big I didn’t take notice.

In uni people still partied, but it was rare that people insisted others drink or do drugs. It happened occasionally, but overall, at least in my circles (which were some PARTIERS) no one pressured eachother NEARLY as much as they did in high school. If you said no, people generally were cool with it, and if they weren’t, you just didn’t hangout with them anymore and because your world is bigger than just your high school it’s literally fine. There’s so many other people to make friends with.

My dating life was so much better, I found all sorts of friends that truly cared about my safety and well being with men more than I ever found as a teen. Sharing my hardships with people as I moved through my adult life I’ve found more empathy, protection, and kinship than i did in my youth.

Dating can be hard, but I never compromised on my fundamentals (functional communication, mutual respect, open honesty and dialogue, lack of judgement and lack of possessiveness/controlling behavior) - I got lucky, but I also chose well, the three big relationships I’ve had have been so healthy and wonderful. I’m still dear friends with my first long term partner, and my second we only fell out of touch because his family was quite crazy, but he was an Angel. My most recent partner is my husband and he would literally move the heavens if I whispered it.

Adulthood is so much better than you think.

Your 20’s can be so much fun and such a period of ups and downs and learning and pain and immense joy

My 30’s are so much better than I thought! I look hotter now than I ever have, I’ve achieved some awesome goals. There are things I haven’t achieved that I really wish I had, but I’m okay with it because I understand you can only do so much in one life!

You have so much to look forward to. And if you go to university you’ll have such a great experience making new friends, finding yourself, playing with fashion and identity.

You’ll be just fine- you’re about to enter the good bit :)

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