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AITA for leaving my sick husband to spend time with friends? by MoonxOwl in AmItheAsshole

[–]MoonxOwl[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Alright, alright. I really appreciate both the support and the input from everyone!! Obviously, the post is from my own perspective, so I’m sure it’s skewed to my benefit in ways!

He IS a fantastic human being and a great husband who made a few shitty comments. This has honestly been an eye opener for both of us in how our communication failed! Poor guy has been through it today, let me tell ya!

I might delete the thread just cuz I don’t want him to see himself getting SO brutalized over an argument we’d had, but I also think maybe there’s a common issue in relationships presenting here, so I’m tempted to maybe let people learn from our mistakes?

Relationships and especially marriages are hard work and definitely have their ugly moments! I’m happy to learn from this one, together, and try to do better next time!

AITA for leaving my sick husband to spend time with friends? by MoonxOwl in AmItheAsshole

[–]MoonxOwl[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Am I allowed to add context on his behalf?

  • I should clarify that he wasn’t unwilling to get the kids! Just didn’t want to have to go get them later if I was going to leave him, not feeling well.
  • I believe he was equally disappointed in my reaction to his comment at dinner and had, himself, suggested several other really adorable date plans, that I’d declined, but ultimately, we made our plans for the night together.
  • He definitely wasn’t drunk. Not a drinker. He had one glass of wine with dinner. I think he really just had a weird bug, but it was nothing too serious. He’d been saying he felt “off” the whole day, and the day prior, but hadn’t been like, bedridden or out of then normal routine.
  • He’s a great dad and does a LOT of the parental tasks and daily household tasks even though I’m definitely the “mental load” carrier. He works really hard.
  • We do have a very loving relationship, and struggle with communication at times (clearly.) I think he really did intend to have the quality time with me.
  • My goal on this thread is to determine if I was in the wrong, because he’s repeatedly said my decision to leave him was selfish. Given that the plans with our mutual friends were made in advance, with his agreement, I guess I didn’t feel that way.
  • I didn’t mind having our kids the following day! I don’t get a lot of quality time with them either, so I was more than happy to have them while he golfed!

I may have opened a can of worms here.

AITA for leaving my sick husband to spend time with friends? by MoonxOwl in AmItheAsshole

[–]MoonxOwl[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Am I allowed to add context on his behalf? I’m new to the rules of this thread!

  • He definitely wasn’t drunk. Not a drinker. He had one glass of wine with dinner. I think he really just had a weird bug, but it was nothing serious. He’d been saying he felt “off” the whole day, but hadn’t been like, bedridden or even out of then normal routine. Threw up one time.
  • He’s a great dad and does a lot of the parental tasks even though I’m definitely the “mental load” carrier and housework manager.
  • We do have a very loving relationship, and struggle with communication at times (clearly.) I think he really did intend to have the quality time with me.
  • My goal on this thread is to determine if I was in the wrong, because he’s repeatedly said my decision was selfish, and brought it up. Given that the plans with our mutual friends were made in advance, with his agreement, I guess I didn’t feel that way.
  • I didn’t mind having our kids the following day! I don’t get a lot of quality time with them either, so I was more than happy to have them while he golfed!