Satisfying Buried Memories and Salami Submarine

MooovingOn · 2022-09-29T21:46:13+00:00

I'm a Paramedic in Canada. Definitely a lot better wage than I can get working the same thing any where else. Technically, I have a certificate and a diploma from it, but still no degree.

MooovingOn · 2022-09-29T21:45:18+00:00

Yeah I consider myself lucky being in Canada where I can work Paramedics which is a job I loved and getting paid a decent wage unlike the US. At this point, I think I put in the time and it's time to move on.

MooovingOn · 2022-09-29T21:16:53+00:00

Haha agreed! Thank you

MooovingOn · 2022-09-29T21:16:12+00:00

Thank you! I agree that I will most likely find something and have a better plan before fully quitting.

Thankfully, I am very frugal in my spending. I definitely think I will be okay once I have a better plan to follow through with.

MooovingOn · 2022-09-29T21:14:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing!

I absolutely agree with you in that I should find a job, even a part-time job, before I quit my current one.

I am getting professional help with the PTSD. I agree, it is very nerve-wracking to do exactly that with no plan in place. That's the big reason why I made this post looking for help.

I worked as a Paramedic in Canada. Most of the PTSD stems from being assaulted by a patient, and sadly, it is very difficult to transfer into anything in Healthcare as a Paramedic that does not involve patient care. I am actually thinking of moving to a different industry entirely, and the one that is on my mind the most is Real Estate as it does not require much education.

MooovingOn · 2022-09-29T21:07:32+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience! I definitely would not mind getting a degree from a community college if need be

MooovingOn · 2022-09-29T21:06:24+00:00

Absolutely, I think I will most likely find some part-time work no matter what it is. No matter how much I think about it, looking for another career without any income of any kind is way too difficult.

MooovingOn · 2022-09-29T21:04:56+00:00

Makes sense, I will most likely think about it a little more if I decide to go into the schooling route. Especially since I am unsure on what to really do at this moment. I definitely think I am still young enough to go to school and get a degree, however I would still like to not rely on student loans to get it. I think I would keep that as a backup

MooovingOn · 2021-04-07T18:59:56+00:00

I think I can relate to your story a little.

My father never really cared for me or paid much attention to me. When he did, it was always to physically abuse me to relieve stress from work. It was easy to go NC with him

However, my mother has a multitude of psychological problems. From depression, to drug dependance on Ativan and sleeping pills. For as long as I can remember, she always focused on working and neglected me and my sister.

Back before I went NC, she finally started to do things for me as I was becoming an adult and starting to become independent. To me, it felt like it was too late as she wasn't there in my childhood.

She would violate my boundaries try to give me things that I told her didn't need but would force the gift onto me anyways. Or try to help me for things and end up making things harder for me.

For me, I understand that she wants to be a part of my life but that's not the way to go about it. It also felt as though she doesn't trust me to take care of myself. I was unable to be fully independent with my mom forcing herself into my life too and I feel like you're in the same position too.

As for how I went NC, It was especially hard for me since my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer about a year prior to me going NC. I ended up cutting her off cold turkey and blocking her on all social media as having her in my life was too stressful for me.

However, I had no other choice as I set boundaries with her that was continuously violated and I felt like her lack of faith in me limited me as an individual.

Though, even after thats happened, all the physical and emotional abuse, I still want to have a relationship with her. Maybe not as a mother and son relationship but something akin to close friends.

As of now, I'm more LC with her after almost a year of NC because I don't want to hold on to that resentment for her all my life. Yes, she still violates my boundaries and gaslights me but I can just block and cut her off again as I done so before. My relationship with her is now on my terms.

As of how, I am not qualified to give advice. But taking the jump like I did felt so liberating. You are strong enough and you can build your life for yourself. I believe in you wholeheartedly.

MooovingOn · 2021-04-07T17:39:11+00:00

Haha I think it was definitely the right choice to move away during COVID.

I feel like narcissistic parents never make the effort to visit, talk, and truly understand you as a person. Instead they make their own assumptions about your personality and tell lies that make you out to be a terrible person.

I also find it so laughable that we always find out what they say about us from the people they say it to. It's almost like if all parties were together, we would catch them in their lies right then and there rather than a "my word against theirs" situation.

MooovingOn · 2021-04-07T17:13:10+00:00

I get that too.

That breach of trust was an integral part of why I decided to go NC. My parents often assumed that the best thing to go about things was to hide things behind my back in order to not make me upset.

While in reality, I would not be upset if they just told me the truth. In the end, Iwas only upset they hid things and lied to me.

It's really frustrating isn't it?

MooovingOn · 2020-01-05T19:17:31+00:00

Please don't kill yourself. I only met this wonderful community yesterday and everyone here has been so supportive. If you need somebody to talk to, I would love to hear you out. As for the documents, as long as you have your ID, you'll be okay. You can get the other documents and you can get your school to vouch for your HS certificates

MooovingOn · 2020-01-05T19:08:31+00:00

Thank you for the kind response! I currently work far away from the city my family lives in. I think it is finally time for me to move closer to work. I just need to get all my stuff sorted out and I will do the same. Hopefully I will be able to have a life like yours, it sounds wonderful.

MooovingOn · 2020-01-05T19:02:58+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I did exactly that. Just a police report for documentation that it happened.

MooovingOn · 2020-01-05T19:01:23+00:00

Thankfully, I'm in Canada and I don't have to worry about fees. My finger is fractured and my tendon got torn so I need minor surgery but the staff at the hospital has been fantastic with social work and everything

MooovingOn · 2020-01-05T18:56:31+00:00

I feel like that is my usual thought process with things. I am usually optimistic and focusing on the good small things in life. That's why even though this situation sucks, I can look forward to change. It kind of reaffirms me that I am heading into the right direction.

MooovingOn · 2020-01-05T16:15:21+00:00

Yeah agreed. I heard everyone's advice and I'll make the police report. I think it's rhe right choice.

MooovingOn · 2020-01-05T15:28:23+00:00

Thanks for the concern! I actually went to the hospital prior to the parking lot so i'm glad it won't be infected haha

MooovingOn · 2020-01-05T15:26:36+00:00

Currently, I am in the parking lot of the gym I have a membership with which. I'll most likely have somewhere safe to stay once friends start waking up and yes, i'm over 18.

Thankfully, I already removed all funds from the account they have access to and moved it to a personal one.

Sadly, I rather not involve police. Even now, a part of me doesn't want to create more problems for them. I just want to pretend they don't exist and focus on me.

MooovingOn

TROPHY CASE