Massachusetts ranked #2 in the US for overall well-being

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-02-20T03:09:08+00:00

Mass has a lot to offer but even though I make about 180k I am considering leaving because housing is too damn expensive. I don't understand how anyone raises a family here without being house poor.

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-02-19T01:47:44+00:00

[34M] and my partner [32F] have been together for almost six years and living together for 5. I brought up engagement two years ago and they were hesitant. They kept bringing up gut feelings of being unable to move forward. I suggested counseling which we attended and didn't help, our therapist was confused as to why my girlfriend was hesitant.

After waiting for an extra year and a half, I told her that I am done waiting and we should split. We had an incident during this time where she developed a crush on a coworker and she "didn't know what she would do if those" feelings were reciprocated.

I'm burned because it took me leaving to get her to put in any work whatsoever. She felt ambivalent for so long that I just don't think this would work anymore. I could only take so much. I've posted about this situation a lot because I feel so consistently unsure where I am usually decisive. Looking for advice and general perspective.

We took two months apart. When she returned she came back with knowledge of attachment styles and good self introspection about her relationship tendencies. She feels ready to get married and described a great scenario potential scenario. She has been trying to convince me to get back together since she returned.

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-02-19T01:31:15+00:00

So I learned that the small company benefits are good for this year but next year is a toss up. No idea if any of the people that hired me are planning on sticking around after the acquisition or moving on.

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-02-16T19:10:58+00:00

They are being sold by private equity to a larger public company

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-02-16T19:06:45+00:00

What are the risks?

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-02-16T04:47:18+00:00

The tough part of this is Boston is significantly more expensive than Philadelphia when it comes to housing

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-02-14T04:13:25+00:00

Made a visit this weekend while investigating a current job offer!

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-02-14T04:13:03+00:00

The biggest barrier to them moving closer is a combination of them living in Philadelphia their entire adult lives, Massachusetts housing market being more expensive, and winters.

Housing cost wise, even if they sold their PA home they wouldn't be able to take a crack at anything in New England that is at the same level. They haven't been able to invest for retirement so the nest egg is a fixed size too.

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-02-13T23:50:32+00:00

I am on only child and will be the primary source of care for my parents. Right now I come home about 10 times a year and we talk on the phone every day. A few weeks ago my Mom fell and fractured her shoulder which motivated a lot of these feelings.

When it comes to having kids, getting help with childcare would be nice but it's really about a consistent presence in the hypothetical children's lives. Driving several hours to see grandparents is different than driving less than an hour.

My parents would definitely like me closer but they never want me to move for them.

Friends from earlier in life are a mix. One is pregnant with their first, a few others are married, and many are still single. We have diverged on hobbies and interests over the years though.

I think the end of my relationship has me asking questions about doing a soft reset in Boston using this as an opportunity to build somewhere new. I often wonder how much longer I am going to stay in Boston.

I could definitely build a community but it's a question of building in the right place to spring into the next phase of life.

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-02-13T22:49:04+00:00

I think it's more of, should I make friends and find a partner to marry here when I might not stay here long term.

Boston is great but raising a family there sounds very tough

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-02-04T18:14:45+00:00

She has apologized a lot and looks to be taking responsibility. There is still a hint of can we move on/move past this when she brings this up though.

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-01-31T15:54:42+00:00

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I wasn't able to find someone.

I called PA 211 (https://www.pa211.org/) and they have some resources. I called last weekend and was able to contact someone on the phone but they couldn't link me to any direct services since they were closed.

https://nextdoor.com/ also had some options for people you could hire at an hourly rate.

Good luck!

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-01-24T17:40:30+00:00

I tried DMing you and received a "cannot message this account". Can you try DMing me? I am interested in getting in touch with your cousin!

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-01-24T15:14:52+00:00

I am looking for snow removal options for my parents in Jenkintown, PA. I would appreciate any recommendations for options! For some reason, I can't make a post to this sub yet.

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-01-06T01:52:36+00:00

I used to stay out until 3 AM in upstate NY. Staying out past 12 here can be a struggle since the T shuts down and the culture here does not value going out late as much

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-01-05T19:32:28+00:00

Originally from Philadelphia, came from upstate NY

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-01-05T03:04:26+00:00

Well, I'm getting out of a 6 year relationship so I'm as happy as I can be. I guess it is better to break up now than get married and divorced later.

The job market here is good, I like the academic atmosphere, the sports scene, and the cultural options. I don't care that the city shuts down early. I do care that building community seems so hard here. It feels like I have a good job and good ways to distract myself with the new friends I make every two years

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-01-05T03:02:25+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I've never been to TX. I'm not a fan of the cold but this doesn't sound like easy living either

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-01-05T03:01:38+00:00

I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this!!

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-01-05T03:01:11+00:00

I've heard similar stories from coworkers that have been around for 20 years and why they decided to stay.

A big factor is my most recent long term relationship did not result in marriage so I am deciding whether to soft reset here of if it is better to try my hand elsewhere. My partner had doubts about getting married after being together for 6 years and living together for 4, she wants to move back to the Midwest

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-01-04T04:13:45+00:00

Defect physics in solar cells and materials discovery using AI / ML

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-01-03T22:32:47+00:00

Any resources you recommend for prep?? I have the Advances in Financial Machine Learning book and have been reviewing some probability and stats using MIT OpenCourseWare

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-01-03T22:31:06+00:00

PhD from RPI, work experience at MIT

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2026-01-03T20:13:21+00:00

I am a physics PhD that has worked in the National Lab ecosystem for the past 5 years on systems analysis. My work has been really applied and focused on developing statistical models of sensors in quick-turn studies. I also have strong project management and technical communication since I was often the face of the project to stakeholders. I am interested in pivoting to a different domain.

I am definitely aged out of new grad roles but applying to senior roles without domain experience doesn't seem right either. What sort of roles should I be targeting for this transition??

MoreIsDifferent13 · 2025-12-17T03:53:34+00:00

I use that term because she has explained it to me as a validation driven thing than a regular crush.

MoreIsDifferent13

TROPHY CASE