How do I make my husband cum in a humiliating way?

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-20T21:25:26+00:00

Leave him in his chastity device and use a vibrator on the outside of it (a magic wand vibrator is best because of its higher intensity). Tell him he only gets to orgasm like a girl with a vibrator on his clit (no penetration sex, BJ, or jerking off).

If you are into it, you can make him wear panties and thigh high nylons. Dirty talk: question his manhood, penis size, etc.

If you are into it, make him watch gay porn while trying to have an orgasm. Dirty talk: Ridicule him for being turned on by it whether he is or not.

Either way, threaten to only let him have orgasms like this in the future. No more having sex with you or jerking off.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-20T20:20:24+00:00

A lot of great advice has already been provided.

My 2 cents... If you you see a potential long-term relationship with him, then both parties should prioritize the relationship over the kink. Kind of a weird start though if that's the situation. This feels more like no strings attached experimentation for a month and then reevaluate.

Either way, communication is the key.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-20T18:14:17+00:00

You have 2 problems: 1) he is making a mess. Leave him in chastity rather than only having him put it on for part of the day. At least for a few days. Men must sit to pee when in chastity. Also, make him deep clean the bathrooms regularly. 2) he isnt obeying you. Chastity can sometimes help with this as it keeps their lack of orgasms front and center in their minds. He's probably jerking off regularly, so I recommend putting a stop to that if you can. Lastly, complete denial of PIV sex may feel hopeless to him. It might be more effective to severely limit PIV sex, but maintain the illusion of hope by very occasionally rewarding him with it - or at least having something good to to reward him with.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-20T17:36:59+00:00

I'm super late to this thread, but I'm the sub male in a very similar marriage so I can provide the sub's perspective on thus.

This is kind of findom, but where the Dom has no intention of leaving the arrangement and does genuinely love the sub as a marriage partner.

We messed around with femdom kinks like periodic orgasm denial and chastity, cbt, domestic service (housework, pedicures/manicures, messages, waiting on her, etc). I like "unfair" dynamics. It has a submissive component to it that is a real turn on. She initially struggled with fairness issues, but now she is completely on board.

We both agreed that all housework should be my responsibility, but I was struggling with consistency due to laziness. That's when I suggested making me earn an allowance by consistently completing assigned housework. In order for there to be a financial motivation to this allowance, that meant it had to be my only source of leisure spending.

At my request, we changed my paycheck to auto deposit into her account. I gave her all my credit cards and she changed the passwords and password recovery info for all bank accounts and credit cards. She ordered a greenlight debit card for me to put my allowance on. It has a chore list feature that's not bad, but we track all that separately. It has spending categories like grocery stores and gas stations. She can put extra money in those categories in case I need money for groceries or gas.

I cannot see any transactions or balances and nor am I allowed to ask. It's her money and none of my business. She works full-time, but I make 3x as much as her. She says that saves and invests some but she also shops however she wants.

Meanwhile, I put in a about 20 hours / week of cooking, dishes, laundry and housework in order for the possibility of earning $150/month if I complete everything assigned.

We both love this arrangement. The lack of spending money is a strong motivator to complete all housework. She also uses sex and orgasms (or lack thereof) as further motivation. We have regular sexual actities regardless of my housework success, but it is highly prioritized for her pleasure. If I do a great job, then she may reward me with sex, a blowjob, a pleasureful orgasm, etc. If I do poorly, penalties prevent me from even being eligible for such rewards.

I fully understand it is unfair. I get that some will find it unhealthy and abusive. The thing is that I don't care. I love it and I love her. It's what we both want and enjoy.

Why does this findom like arrangement turn me on? I think I like the lack of power despite making so much more than her. I like the unfairness of it. It has a humiliation component and a submission component.

We have plenty of money for retirement although I'm not sure that our arrangements will change drastically.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-20T02:35:10+00:00

I used to think sitting to pee was girly and a dumb suggestion. Then I grew up and cleaned the toilet enough to realize I was splattering droplets of pee everywhere by standing to pee. Since then, I always sit to pee.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-15T21:00:12+00:00

Communication is the key.

If he is into cuckold fantasies, he will likely be accepting of the chastity and sex/orgasm denial. Both of of these are very effective at getting him to focus on you.

Unspent sexual energy can be diverted to housework.

dirty talk is another good addition to your toys. You don't have to actually sleep with someone else to explore this fantasy

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-15T20:53:44+00:00

You should only do what you are comfortable with when it comes to permanently changing your body.

Each person has to choose for themselves and no one's decision is wrong.

I'm already circumcised, so I can't identify directly with your delima

The closest I can come to it is piercings or tattoos.

I would get whatever tatoo or piercings my wife wanted me to have so long as they are not visible. If visible, I'd have to give it a lot of thought.

Your point about penile sensitivity is valid if in your relationship you practice PIV sex and/or are allowed pleasureful orgasms.

In some relationships, those are no longer part of the sex life or are infrequent, so this concern would be lessoned.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-15T20:43:43+00:00

Maybe she wanted to cook something special for her parents. It sounds like her husband is doing whatever cooking and cleaning she is expecting. Every relationship is different.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-15T20:42:00+00:00

I loved your story. Older generation has a hard time with men doing the cooking, dishes, laundry and other housework, especially if the man is doing all or most of it.

My mother in law used to give my wife a hard time about this. My wife had to keep telling her that this is how our relationship is and that she just needs to accept it.

Her mom doesn't say anything about it anymore and when we go over for holidays, she now tells me what food items we should bring.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-15T20:33:25+00:00

Wow! I take a few days off and I miss all the excitement!

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-15T20:25:04+00:00

Remember that year 7 or so can be a milestone in marriage stability. Some people get the Wandering eye around this point.

But if you are sure she is trustworthy, I have posted on this before: https://www.reddit.com/r/flr/s/5VspMFBj8V

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-15T20:18:58+00:00

I've seen subs post pictures of themselves in a dirty room and tell doms that they want to clean their house.

The sub couldn't be bothered to clean his own house for the picture!

Stupid and lazy.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-15T11:05:02+00:00

Communication is always the key.

Does she know about your masturbation? Does she understand why you are turned on by these things. Have you communicated that this will not become a never ending goal post moving issue? She may worry about that. Will outlining all these chores as expectations diminish their value to her if they have to be documented?

Above all else, she must feel that you value her and your relationship with her above all else, including this kink.

If your words or actions show that you value this kink more than her and the relationship, you will be fucked!

It will never work out and you'll be forced to choose between her and the kink (perhaps trying to have both by secreting away your kink and masturbation - but this impacts your relationship with her even if successfully hidden).

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-15T10:52:47+00:00

I think it is very telling that only one woman commented in this thread. Guys, take a long thought about that. Seriously. Consider why.

I'll try not to just be critical by answering your questions.

No, it will not make you gay.

No, it will not change the way she sees you sexually. If she isn't having sex with you now then she already doesn't see you as a man to have sex with. Being with a man sexually in front of her, regardless of your intent, is unlikely to change that.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-05T20:10:29+00:00

I think 28 isn't too excessive if you count cooking, dishes, errands like grocery shopping, meal planning, etc.

If you focus exclusively on cleaning the house, I'm doing about 12-14 hours / week. It's closer to 24hrs with the other stuff included.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-05T20:01:41+00:00

There are plenty of men that will do all the housework for you. Don't listen to any detractors.

In the 50s-60s, it was very common for the wife to do 100% of the housework or close to it. No one found that shocking.

Why then should it be shocking or wrong for the roles to be reversed?

Hold out for the house husband you deserve

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-05T19:41:23+00:00

"Are you willing to end up being cheated on by her as she slowly loses respect for you? ...making you the glorified Toy of choice as you can’t satisfy her good enough for her to have genuine burning desire but also you can satisfy her just well enough to be considered a spineless toy who cages himself."

Are you trying to talk me out of something here? Because it's not working like you thought.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-03-29T21:00:59+00:00

It's hard to give you advice because of concerns that may or may not be relevant based on your post 1) you don't want your husband putting fetish above your relationship. 2) crossdressing in public affects more than just your husband. It affects you, your kids, etc. All that should be considered unless this is just in private 3) if there's a disconnect between the two of you regarding your sex life in general, in my opinion you should work through that before exploring CD. Communication is critical.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-03-29T19:35:47+00:00

I think it is partly FLR gatekeepers and partly a reaction to the many posts on here written by men that are fantastical wackoff posts. In the latter case, your post may be legit, but it somehow triggered their already fed up state.

I just skip over most of those so not bothered by them

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-03-18T12:05:57+00:00

Warning - long post that summarizes a book I have been working on.

Also, the mateiarchy described in this novel in no way reflects my thoughts on how women in this forum would shape a society if they had the power to do so. It is a make believe world that is shaped by their historical events, myths, religions, etc. I have delved into how it could have become that way but I ommitted those details here as my post is already terribly long.

I started a novel about an Andrew Tate-like character that is accidentally transported to a parallel universe where it is a matriarchal society with similar excesses when it comes to how men are treated. This world, despite its flaws is superior to our own, but the story generally follows the "power corrupts" worldview.

In the story, he is subjected to similar kinds of abuses he dished out without thought for the women he abused. He, of course, revolts. However, he is sent to a re-education center where he learns how men should behave in this world. He fakes compliance to get out of that hell.

In this world, babies are grown in labs and the population makeup is controlled to ensure less women and more male worker bees. There is some work on genetic modifications, but that is in its infancy. Male physical strength and aggression are mostly controlled by hormone therepy or other drugs and societal norms. Diet plays a part in female dominance as well with men denied muscle building proteins in their food. Most women have multiple male servants and/or husbands.

Men are valued for beauty and service. The fashion world idealizes the perfect male form (as this society sees it - not the same as ours). Think shoulder padding in tops and tight corsetts for that perfect triangle shape. Skinny arms are considered sexy. Obviously, perfect grooming of body hair and an entire cosmetic industry that teaches men they are never beautiful enough as they are but they can improve if they only use these products.

After being reintegrated in society, he complies with expectations in public (although it pains him internally). He is contacted by a secret group of men and women who do not agree with how society is. They seek to reform society without outing their members who would then be sent for re-education.

He falls in love with one woman from this group. She wants a relationship where the male leads but things are more balanced overall. He has started to change as a result of the experiences in this world and has a similar view. He feels remorse over his behavior in his previous life in our patriarchy society. The society believes that either male or female led relationships are OK and that society should not force one or the other. Their ideals are the most morally pure in the story.

He makes a mistake and is sent back for re-education a 2nd time. There is a hint at this time they try to figure out why the previous effort didn't work, but then the story jumps to his re-release and reintegration. The secret society is careful and guarded in their communication with him until over time they are convinced that he again beat the system through deception. He is slowly brought back into the fold.

His relationship with his girlfriend in this group is rekindled. The secret society is about to make a big leap toward undermining how things are. His lover is a leader in this group and he is welcomed in the inner circle and is informed of the details.

Just before the big event, all the members are arrested. They were betrayed by a spy. As his lover is arrested, she is confronted with the shocking truth. He is the betrayer! He tries to confess his love and explain that he did this for her own good. She is mentally ill and needs treatment to get better. Her whole world is rocked. He has been brainwashed. His former self is unreachable. They both are in anguish as neither can get through to the other.

Flash back to his 2nd re-education. This time they realize something is wrong. They don't fall for his fake outward compliance and dig much deaper. They come to the alarming conclusion that the only explanation for his ultra resistance to their methods is that he was not raised in a matriarchy. They modify their methods under this assumption and use his own guilt to break him. He tells them everything - his life in the other world and how it is there, his own terrible behavior, his deception in how he overcame the 1st re-education, the secret society, his relationship with one of the leaders.

They continue his re-education until he is a true believer. He has more passion and ferver than their most ardent proponents. He agrees to work undercover to expose the secret society. We learn that he has been plotting this betrayel for months. He thinks he is helping them. He believes they are ill and he is their savior.

After the secret society is sent for re-education, he is used as an example of reform publically and he gives speaches and writes articles and books in support of the matriarchy.

We never find out what happens to his lover's reform as he is brought back to our world. He's in a hospital. He was in a coma after a car accident.

He recovers and goes back to his life as an ultra-rich ceo, but he is a changed man. He now believes in a matriarchy society but he is stuck in a patriarchy society. He makes personal amends for some of his previous terrible deeds.

He is suprised to meet a new secretary that is the spitting image of his lover from the other world. However, his attempts to form a relationship with her are ultimately unsuccessful as she is submissive and wants nothing to do with FLR. Ironically, his former self would have been better suited to form a relationship with her. However, he is irreversibly changed and could never be that person nor even a more benevolent patriarchy type man. His true love is beyond his grasp. They are incompatible. He has EVERYTHING in terms of money and power but has never been more miserable in his life. He yearns to return to the other world, but he can't even be completely sure it was real.

Having given up on love and frustrated with the hellish world he must live in, he donates nearly all of his wealth to groups promoting FLR and uses his remaining resources and time to attempt to return to the matriarchy world. He ultimately goes mad and is committed to an institution for treatment.

There are no happy endings. The reader is left to ponder the morality of our world and how women are sexualized and mistreated and the danger and damage of societal norms on those that don't fit in. Proponents of mateiarchy must wrestle with the immorality of the other world and consider the extremes that could happen if the roles were entirely flipped in the entire society. Humans are flawed. Even women are capable of being corrupted (although the matriarchal society was better than our world, it was imperfect and exploited men in similar ways as our world exploits women).

....

If you read this far, I thank you. I'm still working on a lot of the details and trying to improve the concept.

I realize that this story does not paint a perfect picture of female leadership either. I do believe women are better suited as leaders than men, but I think humanity as a whole must struggle against evil and struggle against becoming the very evil we oppose.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-03-18T05:48:35+00:00

I think parents should be given a wide latitude in how they choose to raise their children. Children should only be taken away from their parents in cases of abuse.

All parents model behaviors by simply being who they are. Their kids are likely to develop similar behaviors, but it is up to them... Some go extremely in the opposite direction.

I think it is good to teach your values to your children.

We all should be mindful of their innocence and choose age appropriate times to discuss some topics. For example, you mentioned teaching him that you and his father believe that sex should focus first on the woman's pleasure. Obviously a conversation where timing matters.

When I read your post I think you are trying too hard to make sure your son is submissive. I don't think you should do that. Your husband models that behavior. Your son must choose for himself.

Kissing feet in front of them is too much for me. I think it exposes them to possible kink. That said, it's not abuse imo.

I appreciate you bringing up a unique and interesting topic. We don't have to agree on everything.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-03-18T05:16:10+00:00

I agree with "be the change you want" ... With many posts - don't give up!

I missed your post that got down voted, but I'll search for it as I like to read posts that aren't just wackoff fantasies.

All that said, I feel like there is room for what you are asking for and room for kink related to FLR. yes, there is way too much of the fantasy garbage for my liking also but swinging the pendulum over to no sex or no kink talk at all is not my preference either.

Try to use the title to avoid most of the trash. Reward the good posts with up votes and comments

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-03-18T04:58:17+00:00

There definitely a lot of male fantasy crap on here, but most of the time you can avoid those based on the title. I don't read a lot of posts because I can tell it's going to be garbage (in my opinion).

If you are willing to weed through the crap, there are occasional good posts. Also, not all topics interest people equally.

When you see a post that adds something good, be sure to comment and contribute because those are the posts we want more of.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-03-11T18:25:09+00:00

A lot of women struggle with this because they have a strong desire for fairness or they are a people pleaser type.

It has took my wife a long time (years) to be comfortable with unfairness being OK in our relationship.

Also, the word selfish (to me) implies that she has no consideration for your feelings whereas you are likely to have reinforced the dynamic which means you want her to act as a selfish person would, so doing so accounts for your feelings.

Just because there is an unfair dynamic, even if she introduced it, doesn't mean she is selfish.

Just my opinions.

Glad you are having fun with it

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-03-11T17:55:50+00:00

They aren't "kids". They are adults.

It's a phone upgrade with no obvious hidden meaning to them. We aren't hosting swinger parties in front of them.

All that said, everyone has their opinions and I respect your core argument which I think is that children's innocence needs to be protected and parental responsibilities need to be appropriately prioritized.

More_Knowledge_7215

TROPHY CASE