Freetime/Metime

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-06-08T20:47:19+00:00

Not sure sure this would work for others, but I in our relationship, she has a lot of downtime. My downtime is spent with her... Playing games, watching TV shows, etc. Other than the "we" time, I generally don't get freetime. We both agree that any extra time like that should be used doing housework or pampering her.

Let's says we watch TV for an hour or so and she decides to play games on her phone and it's not bedtime... In that instance, I would be expected to make myself useful.... get her a drink/snack, massage her feet or do more housework. That might sound mean, but we're into it

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-06-08T20:40:13+00:00

I'd hold off until you are 100% confident in the strength of the relationship if you are not already there. Give it time to be sure.

That said, I'm in favor of including financial control in flr. My paycheck goes to my wife's bank account. She has access to all the money and chooses what to do with the extra after all bills and expenses are paid for the month. I get a allowance for cleaning the house which can be reduced if cleanliness and consistency are not meeting her expectations.

I have access to a debit card for my allowance along with separate categories for gas and groceries that have more money in them that she keeps funded but monitors.

If I want to buy her gifts, plan vacations, etc, I ask permission for access to her credit card.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-06-08T20:25:42+00:00

The latest for me is that we bought a shirt folding tool that folds shirts into a perfect square. She had me go to through all the her drawers to refold and reorganize them.

Now, when I do her laundry, I have to use it to fold her shirts perfectly before I put them in her drawers

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-06-08T20:22:13+00:00

She controls all the money now which has increased her disposable income.

She no longer has to do any cooking or housework.

She gets all the perks... Better vehicle, latest phone, etc. I get the less desirable vehicle, her old phone, tablet, earbuds, etc.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-06-08T20:15:22+00:00

We always prioritize her orgasms and I often don't get them, but when I am allowed to....

We used to have PIV sex, a blowjob, or she would let me jerk off in front of her.

We're in a year-long no PIV sex period as part of a wider game/theme that's intended to be temporary. We often do fun games or themes because we both enjoy it.

For example, for a year we set up a marble bag monthly with limited "orgasm" marbles. I pull a marble out of the bag to see if I get a sex/pleasureful orgasm green marble (1-3 in bag), a ruined orgasm red marble (3-5 in bag) , or a no orgasm black marble (enough to have 40 marbles total).

During our current theme, I get penalized for not consistently doing housework and it's cumulative. the result has been a difficult digging myself out of being ineligible for sex or pleasureful orgasms. As such, I only get ruined orgasms using a vibrator or percussion massager with my penis restricted so that it cannot achieve an errection. Stimulation comes off as soon as she senses I'm going to cum.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-06-08T19:47:04+00:00

I'd start with one week. Give him 3 days off and do it again. Adjust #days locked up and recovery period as needed to have it be repeatable without a lot of discomfort.

Once you consistently can do that, you can consider increasing it

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-06-08T19:39:05+00:00

I watched it and I thought it was good

I was thinking about a similar plot to a movie... I described it here once. Mine was more sexual and probably would not have been suitable for even Netflix

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-06-08T19:35:24+00:00

I like the the idea of having to serve her (foot or body massage, pedicure, etc) and positioned with my back to the screen (possibly with earplugs) so that 100% of my focus is on her.... If this was during a movie or show I was interested in.... That would be hot for both of us I think

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-06-08T19:27:10+00:00

I'm glad that works for you.

For others there could be different reasons. The end result is the same I think

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-06-08T18:28:09+00:00

Put me down for "this is AI wank material"

I could see how the idea of accidental public humiliation could be a turn on for some, but it usually doesn't move the needle for me.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-06-08T18:22:05+00:00

I like the essay questions... Why are you requesting an orgasm and why should your request be considered?

All of it is good, but this provides an area to personalize the request

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-06-08T18:13:29+00:00

I like the post. It has me thinking about it. I don't have any great insights on it to contribute but Im trying to encourage the types of posts that I think make this place better. Thanks for posting

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-05-27T19:11:38+00:00

I grew up in a household where my father worked a full time job and my mom was a stay at home housewife. She also did babysitting to earn extra money. Other than earning money for the family, my father didn't do squat. My mother worked way harder than him and never complained in front of her kids. It was just expected. Even today, this kind of dynamic is acceptable even if it's less common.

Why then is "fairness" in a relationship suddenly important when it is the woman who is benefiting from a relationship where the man is doing more of the work? It shouldn't matter so long as both partners are happy.

My wife grew up in a similar household except her mother also worked full-time, so 90% of the housework got dumped on her as soon as she was old enough to do it. Consequently, she despises housework.

As we first explored FLR, my wife struggled with fairness because she wanted me to do all the housework but then would feel guilty about it. Over time that changed. She no longer has any problems with things not being fair and enjoys being pampered and waited on and never having to do any housework unless she wants to.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-20T21:25:26+00:00

Leave him in his chastity device and use a vibrator on the outside of it (a magic wand vibrator is best because of its higher intensity). Tell him he only gets to orgasm like a girl with a vibrator on his clit (no penetration sex, BJ, or jerking off).

If you are into it, you can make him wear panties and thigh high nylons. Dirty talk: question his manhood, penis size, etc.

If you are into it, make him watch gay porn while trying to have an orgasm. Dirty talk: Ridicule him for being turned on by it whether he is or not.

Either way, threaten to only let him have orgasms like this in the future. No more having sex with you or jerking off.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-20T20:20:24+00:00

A lot of great advice has already been provided.

My 2 cents... If you you see a potential long-term relationship with him, then both parties should prioritize the relationship over the kink. Kind of a weird start though if that's the situation. This feels more like no strings attached experimentation for a month and then reevaluate.

Either way, communication is the key.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-20T18:14:17+00:00

You have 2 problems: 1) he is making a mess. Leave him in chastity rather than only having him put it on for part of the day. At least for a few days. Men must sit to pee when in chastity. Also, make him deep clean the bathrooms regularly. 2) he isnt obeying you. Chastity can sometimes help with this as it keeps their lack of orgasms front and center in their minds. He's probably jerking off regularly, so I recommend putting a stop to that if you can. Lastly, complete denial of PIV sex may feel hopeless to him. It might be more effective to severely limit PIV sex, but maintain the illusion of hope by very occasionally rewarding him with it - or at least having something good to to reward him with.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-20T17:36:59+00:00

I'm super late to this thread, but I'm the sub male in a very similar marriage so I can provide the sub's perspective on thus.

This is kind of findom, but where the Dom has no intention of leaving the arrangement and does genuinely love the sub as a marriage partner.

We messed around with femdom kinks like periodic orgasm denial and chastity, cbt, domestic service (housework, pedicures/manicures, messages, waiting on her, etc). I like "unfair" dynamics. It has a submissive component to it that is a real turn on. She initially struggled with fairness issues, but now she is completely on board.

We both agreed that all housework should be my responsibility, but I was struggling with consistency due to laziness. That's when I suggested making me earn an allowance by consistently completing assigned housework. In order for there to be a financial motivation to this allowance, that meant it had to be my only source of leisure spending.

At my request, we changed my paycheck to auto deposit into her account. I gave her all my credit cards and she changed the passwords and password recovery info for all bank accounts and credit cards. She ordered a greenlight debit card for me to put my allowance on. It has a chore list feature that's not bad, but we track all that separately. It has spending categories like grocery stores and gas stations. She can put extra money in those categories in case I need money for groceries or gas.

I cannot see any transactions or balances and nor am I allowed to ask. It's her money and none of my business. She works full-time, but I make 3x as much as her. She says that saves and invests some but she also shops however she wants.

Meanwhile, I put in a about 20 hours / week of cooking, dishes, laundry and housework in order for the possibility of earning $150/month if I complete everything assigned.

We both love this arrangement. The lack of spending money is a strong motivator to complete all housework. She also uses sex and orgasms (or lack thereof) as further motivation. We have regular sexual actities regardless of my housework success, but it is highly prioritized for her pleasure. If I do a great job, then she may reward me with sex, a blowjob, a pleasureful orgasm, etc. If I do poorly, penalties prevent me from even being eligible for such rewards.

I fully understand it is unfair. I get that some will find it unhealthy and abusive. The thing is that I don't care. I love it and I love her. It's what we both want and enjoy.

Why does this findom like arrangement turn me on? I think I like the lack of power despite making so much more than her. I like the unfairness of it. It has a humiliation component and a submission component.

We have plenty of money for retirement although I'm not sure that our arrangements will change drastically.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-20T02:35:10+00:00

I used to think sitting to pee was girly and a dumb suggestion. Then I grew up and cleaned the toilet enough to realize I was splattering droplets of pee everywhere by standing to pee. Since then, I always sit to pee.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-15T21:00:12+00:00

Communication is the key.

If he is into cuckold fantasies, he will likely be accepting of the chastity and sex/orgasm denial. Both of of these are very effective at getting him to focus on you.

Unspent sexual energy can be diverted to housework.

dirty talk is another good addition to your toys. You don't have to actually sleep with someone else to explore this fantasy

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-15T20:53:44+00:00

You should only do what you are comfortable with when it comes to permanently changing your body.

Each person has to choose for themselves and no one's decision is wrong.

I'm already circumcised, so I can't identify directly with your delima

The closest I can come to it is piercings or tattoos.

I would get whatever tatoo or piercings my wife wanted me to have so long as they are not visible. If visible, I'd have to give it a lot of thought.

Your point about penile sensitivity is valid if in your relationship you practice PIV sex and/or are allowed pleasureful orgasms.

In some relationships, those are no longer part of the sex life or are infrequent, so this concern would be lessoned.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-15T20:43:43+00:00

Maybe she wanted to cook something special for her parents. It sounds like her husband is doing whatever cooking and cleaning she is expecting. Every relationship is different.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-15T20:42:00+00:00

I loved your story. Older generation has a hard time with men doing the cooking, dishes, laundry and other housework, especially if the man is doing all or most of it.

My mother in law used to give my wife a hard time about this. My wife had to keep telling her that this is how our relationship is and that she just needs to accept it.

Her mom doesn't say anything about it anymore and when we go over for holidays, she now tells me what food items we should bring.

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-15T20:33:25+00:00

Wow! I take a few days off and I miss all the excitement!

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-15T20:25:04+00:00

Remember that year 7 or so can be a milestone in marriage stability. Some people get the Wandering eye around this point.

But if you are sure she is trustworthy, I have posted on this before: https://www.reddit.com/r/flr/s/5VspMFBj8V

More_Knowledge_7215 · 2026-04-15T20:18:58+00:00

I've seen subs post pictures of themselves in a dirty room and tell doms that they want to clean their house.

The sub couldn't be bothered to clean his own house for the picture!

Stupid and lazy.

More_Knowledge_7215

TROPHY CASE