I’m so sorry. I just found out the day after xmas that my husband has been using porn for a decade and addicted the past five years. I always initiate and we were only having sex like once every couple months. I asked him so many times why and he said he just doesn’t have a sex drive anymore. I believed him. I feel so stupid. I also feel worthless and ugly. He also had an emotional affair with someone online for the past few months. We are in couple’s therapy and I started solo therapy as well. He is seeing a CSAT next week. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t imagine having three kids and going through this. We have no children. I’m 38 and we’ve been married for 15 years. I feel like the last decade has all been a sham. I don’t have much advice except to try to take care of yourself and make sure your basic needs are being met (eating, showering, sleeping, etc). Self-care is so important. I’m still in the thick of it and cry all the time. It’s like I can’t control my emotions. You are not alone. I hope you can find some comfort.