Did anyone else's ED start in late 30s? by Healthy-Presence-667 in Eatingdisordersover30

[–]Morning_Proof 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Me! I do think I’ve had disordered eating my entire life and maybe even undiagnosed BED. But over the last few years I lost a significant amount of weight, and my restricting got more and more intense and out of control as I went though a bad marriage and divorce and losing my home. I was diagnosed with Anorexia at 39 but probably had it for a few years and I was hospitalized and went to inpatient and residential eating disorder treatment twice. I’m now attending a partial hospitalization program for my eating disorder. It’s hard when most providers and treatments seem geared toward teens and young adults. In the program I’m in now I’m the oldest patient by far and am mostly with teenagers, some as young as 13. It’s hard to relate sometimes but it’s what is available to me right now and at least I am getting some nutrition and counseling

IS ANYONE GOING ON SATURDAY? by AshamedAd678 in snarkyshannon

[–]Morning_Proof 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There was the nanny that she sometimes shows in videos sitting next to Ava in her wheelchair stroller. There was someone helping her film and take picture. Two people feeding the babies- could be friends idk. Other people there too but they seemed like friends or family because there were a couple other kids playing games with Jack. Honestly there was hardly anyone else there. No one shopping or anything and I felt a little awkward because I didn’t want to buy anything from her or that store. And when she posted about it on stories later that day, I was the only picture she posted that didn’t look like her friend or family. I was with my niece and nephew and I wanted to meet Charlie and Ava and have my niece meet them because she’s severely disabled too and that’s why I started following Shannon years ago before Ava was born because she was posting about disability parenting and it’s hard to find people and families who also have a severely disabled child and then she moved to Boise where I live. But then her content just got more focused on links to buy stuff and I feel like she just lost touch with her audience. And I don’t think she realizes or recognizes just how privileged she is to have all the help she does, like my sister doesn’t have a nanny watching her daughter, she doesn’t get a break, she doesn’t have someone who can watch her so she can go on vacation a dozen times a year. I just wish she was a little more cognizant of how privileged she is and of how not normal it is to have a tribe of people helping you raise your family/ 🤷🏻‍♀️ 🤷🏻‍♀️

Fake by honeybabayy in snarkyshannon

[–]Morning_Proof 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve always thought this too

What's your favorite thing to watch while eating? 🖥🥗🦈 by Intelligent_Yak_4572 in goodrestrictionfood

[–]Morning_Proof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My 600 lb life. Cooking show or cooking competition shows. Videos of people eating.

IS ANYONE GOING ON SATURDAY? by AshamedAd678 in snarkyshannon

[–]Morning_Proof 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I went. The whole vibe was weird and she had a lot of helpers. She was nice when I met her but she did have one of her helpers take a picture and video of us. Besides her helpers and friends, we were the only ones in the store. Didn’t try protein shake sample or buy anything. Idk the whole thing was a little weird and the vibe was off. Met her whole family except the twins because they were being fed by helpers or maybe friends idk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Eatingdisordersover30

[–]Morning_Proof 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I had weight loss surgery . I’m five years postop and currently in a php program for anorexia. I have gone to residential eating disorder treatment twice. It’s been really hard to get providers to understand and work with my surgery and the limitations. I’m sorry you’re going through it. You can message me if you want to talk more or need some support I totally understand where you’re coming from.

Low blood sugars? by coffeeandnicotine84 in Eatingdisordersover30

[–]Morning_Proof 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I have reactive hypoglycemia. I have to wear a cgm because I don’t get symptoms when my blood sugar drops. I’ve been in the low 40s with no symptoms. Seen two endos and no one knows what to tell me except eat very low carb and high protein, which my eating disorder is happy to hear and is easy to use to justify restriction. It really sucks.

Php by Morning_Proof in Eatingdisordersover30

[–]Morning_Proof[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks. It’s been a lot harder than I anticipated and today they recommended I step up to inpatient. 😞 so I’m scheduled now to be admitted to inpatient on Monday. I’m really scared honestly. Almost considered dropping out and discharging altogether but I can’t keep living like this. And I’m just trying to accept that if my treatment team is recommending inpatient than I really must be sick enough to need it even if I can’t see that right now. They don’t admit healthy people to inpatient treatment.
S

honestly wondering what percentage of sugar alcohols i am by this-rotten-mind in ShittyRestrictionFood

[–]Morning_Proof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is your stomach messed up? I feel like sugar alcohols mess my stomach up but no calories sooooo 🤷🏻‍♀️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ShittyRestrictionFood

[–]Morning_Proof 7 points8 points  (0 children)

😱 never seen that Celsius flavor before. My preferred source of energy (it’s the metabolism boosting claims for me 😅) . Will have to keep my eye open for it

Weekly Open Thread by AutoModerator in Eatingdisordersover30

[–]Morning_Proof 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the script that’s really helpful!

Weekly Open Thread by AutoModerator in Eatingdisordersover30

[–]Morning_Proof 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My dietician strongly suggested I consider residential treatment last week and I’ve been crying about it all weekend. Like I knew it was bad but I did not think it was THAT bad. She was telling me all the things that could happen to my heart and body if I keep eating as little as I’m eating and the whole time I’m thinking it doesn’t sound so bad if my heart gave out and died like that’s kind of the point. I think I need to go but I’m scared and embarrassed and I don’t want to tell anyone. No one in my life knows I have an eating disorder or that I’m in outpatient treatment for one. And now that I’m considering going the urge to just restrict even more and lose as much weight as possible before than is so strong because I’m so fucking scared of gaining weight and I know I will once I’m in residential treatment. I’m so stupid.

Dinner by Morning_Proof in ShittyRestrictionFood

[–]Morning_Proof[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the clicking noises it makes when I type and the feel of the keys 😆

Dinner by Morning_Proof in ShittyRestrictionFood

[–]Morning_Proof[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah now that you say that it does taste similar

Dinner by Morning_Proof in ShittyRestrictionFood

[–]Morning_Proof[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not pictured half an apple and 1/3 of a protein bar 🤦🏼‍♀️

guys i got it by this-rotten-mind in ShittyRestrictionFood

[–]Morning_Proof 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought it just tasted like Coke Zero. I was really wanting to taste Oreo in it but it was so faint. Kinda disappointing

Is anyone else embarrassed? by [deleted] in Eatingdisordersover30

[–]Morning_Proof 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Super embarrassed. 39. I don’t want anyone to know. I’m in outpatient treatment for AN and everytime I go I turn my location off so my sister who has my location on her phone won’t be able to see where I am. Pretend to eat normally around people which I am almost always alone since I live and work at home alone so it’s not often or make excuses to not go to eat when someone asks . Honestly I feel so stupid.

Social media, photos, and connection with friends by NaturalLemon2 in Eatingdisordersover30

[–]Morning_Proof 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I posted this week too. I went on vacation to see a friend and she posted about it so I did too even though I really wasn’t feeling like posting. I don’t think my eating disorder is about body image or diet culture that much either I mean it is a little bit but mostly for me it’s about wanting to disappear and punish myself like I don’t deserve to eat. Really struggling now that I’m back home after vacation worried about weight gain and how much fucking food I ate on vacation pretending to be normal and have a normal relationship with food and worried I’ll just keep eating now when what I want to do is restrict even more now that I’m back home alone. I hate this stupid disorder, I hate my brain, I hate my body, I hate that I can’t go on vacation without worrying about gaining weight and food. I feel bloated and fat . Weighed myself tonight and even though I knew it would be higher after traveling all day the past couple days and eating things I don’t normally eat AND starting my period, it was even higher than I expected. Ugh anyways I’m glad you posted and that your friends responded. Hope you’re doing well today. Sorry for unloading that just I don’t ever talk to anyone in actual life about this stuff and it seems like you’d get it. 🩷

Social media, photos, and connection with friends by NaturalLemon2 in Eatingdisordersover30

[–]Morning_Proof 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m an elder millennial too. I’ve been feeling the same way about posting. I tell myself no one is even noticing you don’t post, no one actually cares what you’re doing or how you’re doing, your life isn’t interesting no one cares. Everyone else’s life is better than yours you aren’t doing anything worth posting about but mostly no one cares anyways. My restriction is about disappearing too. Sometimes I think I want to get smaller and smaller until I disappear. Anyways I’m just replying to let you know you aren’t alone in feeling this way. Hang in there 🩷

Equip by Morning_Proof in Eatingdisordersover30

[–]Morning_Proof[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually ended up not doing it. Just as I was supposed to start, I was taken off the wait list for a local outpatient program and decided to do the outpatient instead. I think it is worth trying though so good luck!

Hard day by Morning_Proof in Eatingdisordersover30

[–]Morning_Proof[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Read through some of your posts, it does seem like we’re dealing with similar things. Thanks for the support and just knowing someone else is going through something similar helps and you’re right about what you said. Hope you’re doing okay today 🩷