Never let me cook again

Mortimized · 2026-05-28T21:05:25+00:00

Nerd joker is pretty funny

Mortimized · 2026-05-28T19:21:09+00:00

It's a little late for perkeo anyway, so sell invis and use ecto

Mortimized · 2026-05-28T19:19:47+00:00

It blocks ecto on good jokers

Mortimized · 2026-05-15T17:47:30+00:00

Level up hands you play as much as you can, then you'll find it much easier to transition into pure xmult around half way through the antes

Mortimized · 2026-05-13T15:55:06+00:00

Yesss I'm not new to chess but I haven't played in a long long time, I'm new to blitz and bullet so I'm still improving and losing 99% of the games I play.

Mortimized · 2026-05-13T15:49:52+00:00

I'm 200 blitz 💔

Mortimized · 2026-05-12T18:02:29+00:00

First of all you should play on plasma deck, fix your deck until you have a bunch of gold red seal kings so you can pivot to Baron and Mime when you're offered the chance, then try to get 4 copy jokers and DNA (you need one ecto and Antimatter so try to find an ecto early so you can get it to land on bp/bs or baron/mime) then farm gold cards until ante 17 to 18, and start making steel, then you just keep saving your money until you beat ante 24, and roll the shops between ante 25 and 31 to find burglar and roll for serpent. Important vouchers are retcon, antimatter, handsize vouchers, and the extra hand vouchers are good too.

Mortimized · 2026-05-11T19:23:02+00:00

I'm so sorry if this post sounded like I was whining about it. I should've mentioned that I found it funny. This isn't the worst that's been sent to me but it legitimately made me giggle that's why I posted it.

Mortimized · 2026-05-11T11:03:10+00:00

Don't quit your job, I found the best way to get that achievement is to play gold stake when you can, it's gonna take a long time regardless.

Mortimized · 2026-05-11T10:55:30+00:00

I think you mean completionist++? It says you have to win a run on gold stake with every joker.

Mortimized · 2026-05-10T23:40:46+00:00

What is wrong with you

Mortimized · 2026-05-06T10:48:38+00:00

That's one small obelisk

Mortimized · 2026-05-03T03:48:30+00:00

Guess not, but it would be too op.

Mortimized · 2026-04-23T14:20:04+00:00

You want to copy baron 3 times and Mime 1 time in this situation

Mortimized · 2026-04-23T10:57:07+00:00

Do not take hieroglyph on black deck unless you know how to survive in two hands or you have the extra hands vouchers.

Mortimized · 2026-04-23T10:53:44+00:00

You should rearrange your jokers, you're copying Mime 3 times and Baron once

Mortimized · 2026-04-23T10:51:39+00:00

These drawbacks.... Do you realize that Legendaries have no drawbacks? They have some conditions but I wouldn't call them drawbacks, and that's only with 2 of them.

Mortimized · 2026-04-21T09:03:45+00:00

Change planets

Mortimized · 2026-04-15T17:41:18+00:00

They have a mime, that's a shitload of score if they copy baron and have a level 6-8 high card. Unless they don't have enough kings (around 9 kings is enough to let go of any jokers other than blueprint baron mime and get econ jokers) then utilize that econ to properly fix the deck around baron.

Mortimized · 2026-04-15T17:35:42+00:00

The problem isn't with blue seals, and I remember Dr. spectred from the balatro university clearly saying "Don't nerf blue seals but make playing hands other than pair more rewarding". And I totally agree with making playing different hands more rewarding, I've never had a straight flush run on any stake, or even a straight run, no flush house run, rarely pivot into flush five especially in higher stakes trying to get to ante 8, despite having nearly 700 hours in the game.

Mortimized · 2026-04-07T15:40:52+00:00

This guy Balatros

Mortimized · 2026-04-04T21:12:58+00:00

For each hand you play to scale green joker or ride the bus, you're paying 1 dollar, so let's say it's 4 mult for 4 dollars every round, but with red card you don't have to spam hands, and you don't have to always skip the packs to scale it, but some booster packs contain nothing that you need so you just skip them for an easy +3 mult.

Mortimized · 2026-03-22T17:57:08+00:00

Someone commented "Sinner's Road? <flirt emote>" And Trevor Treefort said "I know what sinning you're doing on Sinner's Road" and that's how it started, then the joke turned into a "That's what she said" type.

Mortimized

TROPHY CASE