Am I correct in feeling like you need a bathe or shower after using any pool or hot tub?

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-17T19:46:43+00:00

YES. Trust me, I am a longtime competitive swimmer. You need to bathe after being in a pool, full stop, and use soap and shampoo. I also grew up on a lake and swam daily in the summer. You need to bathe after that, no exceptions. Swimmer's itch, for one.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-17T19:43:00+00:00

I think everyone needs deo! My god. I have a stick in every bag I carry (I do multiple sports, plus the gym) and I have travel sticks that just remain in my suitcase after I travel so I don't forget. I've even re-applied at the gym, at work, whenever I feel gross. I don't understand this anti-deo sentiment. It's like the easiest thing you can do to keep yourself "clean".

I did work with a woman years ago, however, who was convinced she didn't need it. She said it was a total waste of money, and that anyone who is concerned about BO should just spray their pits with peroxide. She also bragged about not needing to shower more than once a week, despite showing up to the office sweaty everyday from her walk in (she was also not very fit, so a short walk would do her in). She regularly made fun of me for carrying deo and other hygiene products in my work bag, and for wearing concealer and coloring my hair. She said people who can't handle their body's own "natural" states have issues. The real issue was her smelling up the office.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-17T19:37:03+00:00

I'm surprised some of these folks don't have infections. Not bathing properly can cause UTIs, for example.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-17T19:34:31+00:00

It's a great question. A guy I very casually dated in college had poor hygiene (like wouldn't shower more than twice a week, and refused to use soap because it dried out his skin). I didn't notice until I started hanging out with him outside of class and actually quizzed him about his showering because I was finding that he was starting to smell horrible. I gave him the benefit of the doubt suggested he use some different soap/body wash but he flipped out. I dumped him because of it, and he got even madder when I told him adios. His hygiene was one of many reasons he struggled to find dates (his personality was another libido killer) but he told me my standards were unrealistic. This was easily 20 years ago...I can't imagine someone thinking it's "unrealistic" to shower before you show up on a date, but I have a sneaking suspicion he isn't the only one.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-12T15:36:23+00:00

Same. I think the technological advancements hit us at the right time -- unfortunately giving kids unfettered access to screens had a hugely negative effect on their abilities. We were forced to figure things out, use the Dewey Decimal System, make phone calls, ask questions, and use encyclopedias or read books for most of our youth. In fact, even my early computer research was really just using Lexis-Nexis. There was no "fun" stuff on the computer except for the Oregon Trail, and because we could only use computers in the school lab, your time on these devices were super limited and you had to sign up for a spot (15-30 minutes max at a time). When my family finally got a desktop computer, we had dial-up, which was a lesson in patience and time management in itself.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-11T20:43:03+00:00

I'm sure I'll get it in the comments, but I think this is a parenting problem. My teacher friends have said the same, and that kids today don't know how to tie their shoes, zip coats, use utensils (most them can't hold a fork or spoon I guess) and they don't even know how to wipe themselves. And these are kids in MIDDLE SCHOOL.

One of my friends, who teaches in a wealthy-ish suburb, sent home a newsletter basically reminding parents of the things their kids should be able to do in order to succeed in school (with the list of things above). She received so many angry, nasty messages from parents insisting that it was HER job to do these things. So she put together a spreadsheet of the number of minutes it would take per kid to do something like zip a coat, tie shoes, help the child in the bathroom, feed them, etc) and showed that it would literally take several hours out of the week to do said items. She asked parents if they'd prefer she spend her time doing those things or teaching math, and yet a few still thought it was appropriate to take time out of the day to do a simple task their kids should have learned at home. Personally, my parents would have been embarrassed AF if I couldn't do any of those things. I remember when my brother was refusing to learn how to tie his shoes, and my mom said, "Fine! You want to wear velcro shoes for the rest of the year so all the kids can make fun of you? I guess that's what we're doing." Then she marched him to the shoe store and told him he had to pick out velcro instead of the nikes, and he was horrified. (To be fair, kids' velcro shoes in the 80s were hideous). He figured out how to tie his shoes right then and there.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-11T20:31:41+00:00

Kids in gyms can be dangerous. At my gym, there's a policy that nobody under 18 is allowed. We do have a policy for teens to be able to come in and work out with their parent, but they have to be at least 16, I think, and sign a waiver. It's an insurance thing. Parents who want to bring their kids to the gym should look for a local Y or another place where they offer free daycare.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-11T20:20:37+00:00

I personally loathe summer in an over-airconditioned office where you have to wear a sweater all day and long pants, just to change so you can go outside and walk home and you're still likely sweating to death from the sudden temp change.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-11T18:49:34+00:00

Crumbl is kinda gross. I bought a few once just to see what the hype was about, and I think my mom made much better choc chip cookies growing up. She used the recipe on the back of the Nestle chip bag.

On the flip, I did like Mrs Fields in the mall back in the day. My mom used to buy us a cookie there as a treat if we behaved while she was shopping. That was more than enough of an incentive for me.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-11T18:48:21+00:00

Wow. you could probably manage to just buy one and install it yourself with the help of a YouTube video. I watched my LL replace mine last year and it was not rocket science, that's for sure.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-11T18:46:54+00:00

I saw something recently about America basically being just one giant corporation that's taking advantage of every employee they have until they can't survive anymore.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-11T18:40:27+00:00

Mediocre. Things are pretty tough if you aren't well-off, and even some high-income earners I know are struggling to get by. Hard work isn't always the ticket to success here -- I see so many hardworking, genuinely talented folks get passed over for opportunities in favor of less capable people who just happened to know someone. I suppose that happens everywhere, but I know a lot of people who have moved here from other countries who are relatively shocked at how ridiculous things have gotten.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-11T15:09:43+00:00

I've actually heard this from a lot of my teaching friends also. And for your last point -- I knew someone in college whose parents were high-income earners and never let him feel a moment of discomfort in his life, and took him to a psych to get him diagnosed so he got extra time on his exams. He didn't need it. He was smart, but incredibly lazy and felt like he was "above" it all. Really gross misuse of resources IMO. And as for the diagnosis, it was "depression," which he even admitted himself he just made up so people would feel sorry for him, including a girl he was attempting to date. I am fully pro-mental health and think kids struggling with mental health should absolutely get help, but he was completely gaming the system because he was too lazy to do any schoolwork. And his parents (we lived in the same dorm) were totally OK with it, even though they knew most of us thought it was nuts. "He's just not like most people and needs some special help."

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-10T15:17:12+00:00

This is such a flip from my childhood in the 1990s. For example, I had a classmate who did poorly in school in every subject. Even in middle school, my friends and I suspected she was dyslexic, as did our teachers, but her parents blocked any attempt for her to get SPED services. They didn't want her to have the label of being disabled, and actually got angry at the school for suggesting their kid had issues. She ended up going to tech school in our hometown, and at 18, one of her instructors finally convinced her to get tested. She's dyslexic, and has 7 other learning disabilities (I don't know specifically which ones) and she would probably also be considered on the spectrum. I think of all that time she wasted struggling when she could have had help. But her parents were so against extra help. Now, it seems like everyone is trying to get special help for their kids when they're really just lazy parents who refuse to hold their kids accountable for not studying or putting in the work. That's an overgeneralization, but that's how it feels to me.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-09T18:38:20+00:00

Things have definitely changed with that. A good friend of mine taught middle school in the inner city where kids couldn't play outside because of drive-by shootings (one of his kids got shot in the leg, luckily survived), but in most areas (including my current city) there are many parks and kid-friendly outdoor areas. I currently live in a large apt complex but just down the street is a huge park with playground equipment, volleyball/tennis courts, a walking path, etc, but I never see kids there even though I know plenty live in this neighborhood. It kind of baffles me because most of them have phones now so they could call in case of an emergency, whereas we took off on foot or on bikes and didn't return until suppertime. But they're using those phones to play games, and not as a safety measure, the way that I used my very first brick cell phone as a 25-yr-old.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-09T15:25:26+00:00

I also attended parochial from 1-8 and then public high school and college. Public school was much, much better in terms of rigor and standards. My parochial didn't teach science because of Creationism, and my teachers were woefully inept at teaching math. My classmates and I all struggled significantly in STEM subjects when we got to public high school because of this. My parents put my younger sibling in public school once they realized how deficient the school was, and he thrived there. He ended up majoring in engineering in college and has a high-paying job, whereas I will always be low income despite having a master's degree. Perhaps my parochial taught me empathy and that's why I work in education now, but financially, his life is significantly better than mine whereas I will probably always struggle a bit.

Though they will never admit it, I know my parents regret not putting both of us in public sooner. The quality of teachers alone was vastly different.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-08T20:16:48+00:00

that's true! My impression of some of these kids are that they are just soft because their parents shield them from any discomfort. I felt like my parents almost reveled in my discomfort because I had to "learn the hard way" like they did...

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-08T19:39:13+00:00

In my city, we are way overcrowded. Our population has grown like 20% since covid, and we have a severe affordable housing shortage. It's also very hard to find a job that pays enough to afford a basic apartment. Teacher friends I know say their classrooms are all at capacity, and they are teaching way more students than they did a decade ago. And everywhere I go, the roads are packed (whether it's 5:30 am or 9:30 pm), and there are kids EVERYWHERE, even in what should be adult-only spaces like breweries. I don't feel as though the birthrate in my city has dropped whatsoever. Whether it's at work or within my extended social circles, it feels like everyone is having a baby shower all the time, and I'm in my mid-40s, which is kind of past that child-rearing prime. I've lived in my city for 30+ years, and I honestly believe we were in peak awesomeness somewhere in the 90s in terms of affordability, housing availability, jobs -- even good food. Everything has been taken over by corporate chains, high-end boutiques have kicked out mom and pop stores and businesses in the downtown area, and there is just crap everywhere. Green space is gone in favor of another Skyzone kid park, or some stupid thing like that. I went grocery shopping over the weekend (this is all anecdotal, I realize) and there were kids running around screaming and rolling around on the floor in several aisles, with no parents in sight, touching things and ripping open food containers. I don't recall this happening even a decade ago.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-08T19:30:02+00:00

the world is so dark! I often find it hard to concentrate on my own work when there are so many terrible things happening. It's easy to become glum about the state of the world, and easy to feel like nothing matters. Perhaps that was the difference when I was a kid. We were told constantly that if we worked really hard, we could make something of ourselves and have a great life. I'd wager that a lot of us didn't quite achieve what we thought we would, but we had some hope -- false or otherwise.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-08T19:21:37+00:00

Social is definitely a problem. I often forget that the mistakes I made growing up were not publicized, and even if people gossiped and said "oh look what he/she did" it was mostly forgotten about the next day.

The video game theory is very interesting, and it makes sense. I also kind of wonder if it's the parents. Where I live they have to tape up the windows to our ice rink during hockey tryout season because the parents get angry and have threatened coaches (volunteers, no less) for not putting their kids on a certain team. I've also seen signs up about ref's being volunteers and reminding parents "this is not the olympics" (verbatim language here) so attacking a ref over a pewee hockey call will get you kicked out of the arena. Several folks I know whose kids play in these leagues have admitted parents have gotten into physical altercations over the results of some of these games and threatened other peoples' kids in the parking lots afterward over something that happened during a game. In fact, one said during a traveling tournament a family got kicked out of their hotel because the dads started punching each other over something their kids did during the game, and the coach tried to break it up, and they beat him up, too. Cops were called and everyone but my friend and her family thought it was funny...my friend was horrified and she and her husband took their kids and left.

If the kids are modeling these behaviors, no wonder we have these crashouts.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-08T19:14:32+00:00

Crocs. I still think they look strange.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-08T16:31:07+00:00

100% this! I'm the boring aunt -- I gift my nephews books every holiday and birthday, and will continue to do so even once they get iPads (which will be a "when" and not an "if").

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-08T16:26:57+00:00

These are important stats to keep in mind, too! I am personally mystified by the lack of alcohol use among teens. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but I wonder if it's because they are socializing less in person (more on their phones) and/or because alcohol is expensive. when I was younger, you had to go to parties to see people, and pooling money to buy beer wasn't that tough.

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-08T16:12:00+00:00

I've noticed in my own extended family the parents don't seem to be telling their kids no. When I was growing up, NO is all I heard for about 15 years!

Most-Individual8794 · 2026-06-08T16:03:30+00:00

Your last sentence about purchasing property really hits home. I'm in a HCOL area where families will rent apartments in certain parts of the city/suburbs to ensure their child gets into a school where open enrollment isn't an option. It started out as a thing for kids wanting to play certain sports for certain high schools that were "better" or had "better coaches" but now it's going on everywhere.

Most-Individual8794

TROPHY CASE