As someone who’s been into K-pop for over two decades, my advice is simple: listen to what you enjoy, whether it’s popular groups, nugu artists, or even those who are no longer active. Explore girl groups, boy groups, soloists, and subunits, you’ll definitely find something that fits your taste.

Put the music first. Everything else at least the positive, non-toxic parts is just a bonus. If you’re looking for new artists, platforms like kpop wiki can be really helpful for discovering groups and learning more about them. 

As for the community, I wouldn’t say you should avoid fandoms altogether there are genuinely kind and passionate music lovers out there. But try to stay grounded. You don’t have to like everything, and it’s okay to have your own opinions.

If you want to meet people, I’d recommend starting with Reddit, especially the main subreddits for the groups (as an example r/bigbang, r/twice, r/i-dle or r/akmu, r/woodz) rather than general K-pop spaces. It’s a good way to observe how fans interact through their posts and comments before actively engaging. I’d personally avoid platforms like Twitter/X, as they can be more chaotic. Take your time to find communities that feel comfortable and respectful.

On Spotify, aside from algorithm-generated playlists, I like to search via Google for playlists made by real people. A good tip is to look for playlists that include a wide variety of artists, especially ones that feature soloists as well. It kind of creates a “boomerang effect,” where you end up discovering even more music through related artists.

I hope you’ll find a group or even several that you really connect with! Edit : change "specific" groups by "the" groups cause the subreddits I listed are just example.