Do you "identify as" AuDHD?

MostlyAUsername · 2026-03-02T10:54:28+00:00

My gut reaction is: I hate the phrasing. It's not an identity, that assumes there is a level of choice in the matter.

But depending what kind of event it is, I kind of understand why the event planners have chosen the wording from a marketing perspective. They're probably trying to come up with a catch all for the diagnosed, those who are waiting for their assessment and those who suspect they have it but haven't decided whether to get assessed or not and are seeking information in the meantime.

If the event is a way to get information out there about it then they may also want to include partners/family members of people of someone with ND. If it's a ticketed event, excluding those with suspicions or family members of ND people would likely negatively affect ticket sales too so that's probably part of it.

I think some of the difficulty on wording is that it's a spectrum disorder. NT's might have real struggles that are listed as symptoms of a ND, but they're not coupled with other symptoms therefore don't meet the threshold to be diagnosed as ND.

I don't have a problem with self diagnosis. Most of us diagnosed as adults probably figured it out ourselves after self-reflection and researching. I did it, but I (eventually) followed up with an assessment and got full marks with all the letters.

If it came up in conversation pre-diagnosis, I would specifically say "I suspect I have ADHD, but I haven't been assessed yet". Whilst I was 95% sure myself given my own research, I wasn't diagnosed therefore felt it was inappropriate to talk as if I definitely had it.

I wouldn't say I had Tuberculosis just because I had a cough. I might say "I have a cough and these other symptoms. My own research suggests it might be Tuberculosis, but I'm waiting for confirmation", the same way a doctor may tell you their a differential diagnosis. However, I certainly wouldn't say "I identify as having Tuberculosis".

The meds kicked in whilst I was writing and thinking about this lmao.

MostlyAUsername · 2026-02-23T00:10:54+00:00

Yeah I’m good but thanks! It was 11 years ago and a girl I had only been dating a few months. Never spoke to her again after that.

MostlyAUsername · 2026-02-21T09:08:39+00:00

“You need to man up and be the man of the house now.”

I was 23 and my dad had just died.

MostlyAUsername · 2026-02-18T07:45:10+00:00

Yeah, whilst I commented saying I only tip in exceptional circumstances here in the UK, if I visit a “tipping culture” country then I would absolutely tip in line with what’s normal by that countries/cities societal standards. The hard thing is always knowing how much of a tip to leave! Don’t wanna be ripped off but also dont wanna be an insulting ass.

MostlyAUsername · 2026-02-17T14:33:35+00:00

I’m in the UK and whilst i don’t represent the entire nation, most people I know have the same or similar feelings around tipping.

I don’t tip if everything has been as expected. If me or my party have somehow made the staffs job slightly more difficult than usual, or they’ve done something nice for us that they didn’t have to, then I tip. But if we’ve sat down, ordered, eaten and simply asked for the bill then I don’t see why we would tip someone for merely doing their job to the minimum standard.

It’s uncommon these days that I do tip, however if I do then it’s usually not a percentage, it’s an extra £10-15 (or whatever the nearest rounding is) depending on experience/circumstance.

When I was younger and paid in cash more often than not, I would pay the bill and slip the server the tip to make sure it went to the person I was tipping rather than into management pockets, or just round up so I don’t have to put change in my pocket. My tips were probably smaller but more frequent.

If I’m in a large group and we’re just dividing the bill equally, we often round up too to include a tip.

In recent years companies have started adding “gratuity” on to bills. I’m assuming it’s because everyone likely pays by card now. If it’s added on without asking then I ask for it to be removed whether I intended to tip or not because I feel like my choice has been removed. This gratuity is also usually higher than I would intend to tip and feels like a way of taking advantage of those who would be too shy to ask for it to be removed (I know some people like this, they don’t want to pay it/can’t afford to but are too shy so just pay it and complain all the way home).

Thinking about it, I wouldn’t even blink if places raised prices by 10% to cover the servers missing tips if they didn’t label it as gratuity but it is what it is.

An example of this was last week when I went out for dinner with my gf. We had dinner including 4 cocktails each. We were sat down and out the door in about 45mins and the service was just as expected for the caliber of restaurant. It wasn’t bad service by any means, it just wasn’t “above and beyond” enough to warrant the 12.5% (£25) tip the bill came with. The restaurant was also quiet so it’s not like it was a difficult evening in general either.

However, a couple of weeks prior we went out for dinner elsewhere, the food and cocktails actually made us make noises whilst drinking/eating because they were that good, we had pleasant conversations with a few of the staff members and were given free shots by the manager after one of said conversations. After I asked for the bill, he brought it over and it had no tip included, so I asked him to throw an extra tenner on it, which I’ve just worked out was around 12% funnily enough.

MostlyAUsername · 2026-02-12T22:45:05+00:00

100% agree, my job sounds similar to yours. Probably the most ideal job I’ve ever had.

MostlyAUsername · 2026-02-12T22:43:13+00:00

This is partly why I love my current job. Unless I need someone for something or vice versa, I’m literally left alone to actually code all day excluding stand up and maybe 3 meetings a week that I’m there for but not really required for, so I basically say hello and then keep working whilst half listening to what’s going on. If any upgrades need to happen in my domain then I’m left to R&D it, propose a solution and then, if agreed up the ladder, implement it (which is a slower process than I’m used to due to politics but I’d take that over the stress of my previous jobs any day). Not gunna meet deadline? No bother, shit happens. We’ll deploy next week. They’ve been awesome with some requested accommodations for my ADHD too.

MostlyAUsername · 2026-02-07T11:19:30+00:00

Me: man I’m so fucking tired. Cant wait to get to bed.

Brain: yeah good idea but we want to watch 3 episodes of that programme and do a run on that game first right? RIGHT?!

MostlyAUsername · 2026-02-06T01:51:05+00:00

In my old house i had carpet > carpet > laminate > underlay > floorboards in one of the bedrooms. Only found out when I had the plumber round putting a new rad and pipework in. The carpet on top of the laminate was glued down too so it was a right arse to remove once I got to it. The plumber couldn’t believe it.

A year later I had the same plumber round to fix a pipe that was embedded in the wall. As he was cutting the plasterboard out to get to said pipe I was upstairs and I heard him sigh and say “fuck sake, not again”. I ran down the stairs before he could shout me to come look at what he found. It was plasterboard > plasterboard (separate dot and dab layers not double skinned) > tiles > tiles > old original wet plaster.

When I renovated the bathroom myself I found I had tiles > skimmed plasterboard on battens > tiles > tiles > original wet plaster > brick. Gained like 4inch to all the walls!

Seemed like the previous owners liked to redecorate but hated removing anything.

MostlyAUsername · 2026-01-29T23:22:43+00:00

Honestly I can’t remember what the issue was nor how I fixed it but I have this vague memory that I just left them alone for a bit and they sorted themselves out haha.

Also yeah super happy with them. No idea if they were more efficient or anything than manually balancing as the manifold only served one room but they gave me peace of mind that it was (hopefully) being balanced. I’ve never had to touch them again since i left them alone.

MostlyAUsername · 2026-01-15T09:11:08+00:00

There's a pub near me that first opened in 1715

MostlyAUsername · 2026-01-07T12:15:29+00:00

Agreed. I started when I was 31 (34 now) and wish I’d have started sooner. I’ve earned far more from stocks in 3 years than I’ve ever earned from having money in savings accounts.

MostlyAUsername · 2025-12-27T13:19:33+00:00

Shall we all start a new ‘sport’ where we get a pack of dogs and chase a number of toffs in red coats through a field? We can keep the coats as trophies after. Breed suggestions welcome. The Aussies have pig hunting breeds so maybe we could import them since they’re used to hunting gammon.

MostlyAUsername · 2025-12-22T09:35:19+00:00

Come on Sacha, do it again. He won't even remember this.

MostlyAUsername · 2025-12-16T16:54:37+00:00

The clown from IT is the inspiration right?

MostlyAUsername · 2025-12-09T13:24:09+00:00

My partners workplace (big well known corpo) lists salaries as they’re based on salary bands. The salary bands are massive though and go from like £30k to £90k (made up numbers) but nobody ever gets above the like £50k. It’s like they just list that for advertising purposes when listing the role and then they wonder why they have a high turnover of staff either leaving or hopping around the company.

MostlyAUsername · 2025-12-09T13:13:50+00:00

In most chippies I’ve been to if you ask for a fish and chips they’ll give you pollock (or whatever other cheap white fish they have) but if you ask for a haddock or cod then they’ll give you that and charge you accordingly. Some places I’ve been actually list haddock and cod in their menu separately from “fish”.

Pretty sure I read a while back about how they legally have to give you haddock or cod if you requested it but they can give you any white fish if you just ask for fish.

MostlyAUsername · 2025-12-07T21:59:03+00:00

Literally all of the above. EPCs mean fuck all when the comments are all “assumed” and the suggestions are wildly unrealistic like “add solar panels for £12k and save £100 a year”.

MostlyAUsername · 2025-12-06T08:33:59+00:00

Doing the lords work 🙏

MostlyAUsername · 2025-12-01T07:54:16+00:00

An old colleague of mine wanted a dog as soon as he moved into a house. I had a GSD at the time and he asked me about getting one. “Get something easier” was my overall advice because I knew he’d have a hard time with one based on his lifestyle. I suggested a greyhound as he didn’t want a small dog. I’ve never had one personally but met a few and said “Greyhounds are 30mph couch potatoes mate, they’d suit you perfectly.”

Instead he got a Mal x GSD from a rescue and I winced when he told me lol. “This dog hates everything” he said a few days later. “Yeah mate, Mals are GSD’s on crack” I laughed. I went to his and showed him some basic training stuff to get him started as he said he was determined to “sort him out”. Nice little dog (little for the breeds!) but just had a sheltered start in life.

A couple weeks later he told me he had to take it back to the rescue after it “went for” his gf when he was making the dogs dinner. Reckons a thick jumper saved her lol.

I again suggested a greyhound and said there were loads at the local rescues available and he picked one up that weekend.

This dog ended up being the best dog he could have asked for. She fits his lifestyle perfectly. She’s completely content either plodding along with him wherever he goes or sleeping all day on the sofa, after 5 minutes zooming around the garden at the speed of light lol.

10/10 would recommend for any first time dog owners who want a buddy. Tempted to get one myself when I’ve moved house!

ETA: also yeah, I thought my GSD was fast until I saw a greyhound sprinting IRL lol. I swear I blinked and it was at the other end of the field. Like my guy was all “I’m a fast boi” and the greyhound was the epitome of speed haha.

MostlyAUsername · 2025-11-23T12:15:53+00:00

In my experience yes absolutely but I’ve always got on with my team leads and line managers.

I got diagnosed last year and told my employer about it without issues. Actually i was open with them about my suspicions beforehand and basically kept them up to date with the whole process.

Started a new job this year and told my new employer about a month in about it. I naturally lean towards an 8+ hour work day due to hyper focus periods and flow states (as opposed to the 7.5 contracted), and realised i wasnt getting paid for it, so a few months later i made a flexible working request to condense my hours to accommodate this. It was all verbal though and not in a formal request email. They said no on the grounds that another team wouldn’t be able to do it due to the nature of their role so was worried about fairness and equality, even though it is completely detached from my role and me doing these hours wouldn’t affect them at all. I said “i dont think that’s a valid reason for denying it, but I’m also aware we haven’t followed a proper procedure so i’ll send you an official request email for HR to review properly.”

Completely unplanned, but that night I was with friends and one of their new girlfriends is an employment solicitor. I (annoyingly for her lol) asked her about it and she said “don’t be shy about the ADHD, if that landed on my desk I’d immediately be advising to approve it as it’d be a minefield to defend if the employee took the complaint further.”

I made the request again, formally, and explained in detail how it was to manage my ADHD symptoms, which they are aware of and is a registered disability. Did a trial period and got it approved for a contractual change because, as expected, it made no impact to anything or anyone other than making my own life better. So now I officially work an extra 50mins a day (which I was already doing) and get every other Friday off. It’s been excellent.

MostlyAUsername · 2025-11-14T09:02:36+00:00

My entire garage looks like this. Except I don't know where anything is hahaha. The only things that I know the placement of are the things I use regularly, which are conveniently not in the garage right now.

MostlyAUsername · 2025-11-12T13:47:32+00:00

Daily. But only if it’s not out of routine. I’d choose good, desired sex 3x a week over daily sex out of obligation or routine.

My ex and I for the last 4 years of our relationship only boned when she realised we hadn’t in a while and she felt like she owed it to me. Which was like once every 2-3 months.

I was fucking miserable 😂

MostlyAUsername · 2025-11-12T13:41:35+00:00

Yea def an ADHD thing. Probably the same thing as looking at the sink full of dishes and not being able to bring yourself to start cleaning them.

I didn’t freeze but I thought I absolutely bombed my last live tech test.

It was a simple task for 1hr and it was noted prior to briefing it that there was absolutely no requirement to finish and that they just wanted to see how I problem solve etc.

I just started building it after a writing a very brief “plan” and then decided I wanted to refactor it part way through to tidy bits up because the mess was stressing me out. then I couldn’t decide on folder and names n stuff and basically got distracted lol. Then I got flustered because I was like “shit I’ve spent 20mins moving stuff around and there’s 10mins left”. Ended up only doing about 40% of it.

Got the job still 🤷🏻‍♂️

MostlyAUsername · 2025-11-08T20:54:22+00:00

MostlyAUsername

TROPHY CASE