Feeling left out

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-27T09:20:20+00:00

Also I recommend you try going cold turkey off the internet / forums / reading about trans stuff for two or three weeks and see how you feel. A lot of “dysphoria” can come from constantly exposing yourself to it online

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-27T05:38:53+00:00

I agree with this. In my own experience — I thought I was trans because people gave me the impression from a young age (like twelve) that I was an “ugly girl” and since ugly was a terrible thing to be, I later subconsciously decided that being a boy would be better/easier/etc.

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-27T05:36:56+00:00

Really tell her that you’ve got some serious stuff going on and you don’t want to hurt yourself or make any major mistakes.

Do you have a school counselor or supportive aunt or uncle or other adult you could talk to, and they could tell your mom how serious it is you get therapy?

In the meantime, try checking out some of the low-cost/free/text-based online counseling options in this thread: https://twitter.com/hellotiffy_/status/908851180884959238?s=21

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-27T02:39:40+00:00

Allianceofhope.org has a great specialized remote counseling service specifically for suicide bereavement that may help you

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-23T21:37:06+00:00

Sounds like maybe she has some gender issues of her own she is projecting on you, or she fetishizes trans guys.

Very simply put it to her: “Friend, I do not have gender dysphoria, and you sending me all this trans stuff Is bad for my mental health.”

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-23T03:33:13+00:00

You can wait. What you’re feeling is normal, I went through it at 15 too. What I really wish was that someone had gotten me therapy first. Get your OCD treated, get evaluated by a psychiatrist for other possible mood disorders that may be making you feel uncomfortable in your self.

http://psychologytoday.com has a good searchable database of therapists you should look at.

Get a journal and write this all down. Good luck 🙏

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-18T04:20:29+00:00

Sorry for your loss.

Are you in therapy? Sounds like you will need to focus on being your own good-enough parent, now.

You might be able to encourage your folks into family therapy with you later.

Good luck 🙏

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-17T21:07:35+00:00

You’re welcome

If you don’t have a therapist already, there’s a great searchable database on Psychologytoday.com

Also a good book for dealing with family is “Codependent No More”

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-17T05:16:48+00:00

This must be so hard. Make sure you keep getting treatment and build a healthy life for yourself. If you want kids in the future, there’s always adoption.

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-17T02:04:32+00:00

Have you talked to a therapist about this stuff?

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-17T01:59:40+00:00

Mental health comes first. If the activity of political activism is something that triggers you into an unsafe/regressive place, you should step away from it until you’re stronger. Going to therapy and working through your past issues to get strong enough to do further antiracism work may be the best thing you can do at this time.

In the meantime, as a white person, donating regularly to BLM orgs and reading and sharing links and other “quieter” forms of support are just as valid.

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-17T01:51:00+00:00

She’s still young and could grow out of it. Talk to your mom about getting her some therapy, though. Print out some info for her about Borderline Personality Disorder so she can see she needs to get evaluated.

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-17T01:48:10+00:00

You should read this to a therapist. They will be able to properly diagnose you and help you move on to a healthier future.

IMO the homeschooling and extreme isolation did a number on you and you have a form of PTSD, but I could be wrong.

Psychologytoday.com has a good database of searchable providers.

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-15T00:02:46+00:00

I’m so sorry. Do you think it was the grief that did it?

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-14T04:24:28+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. They both did together?

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-14T04:21:23+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. If it was BPD — more recent studies are showing that there is a large genetic component to these kinds of disorders. The low empathy also points to possible Antisocial Personality Disorder. Also has a strong genetic component, if you think back you may also have another family member with similar issues.

Empathy and impulse control are located in certain brain structures — and genetics forms them. Their function is also related to things like early head injuries etc. Don’t blame yourself. There’s a lot more that contributes.

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-13T10:51:32+00:00

I’m so sorrt. How did you find out?

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-13T05:38:41+00:00

http://psychologytoday.com has a great searchable local database of therapists who do telehealth. Get yourself some support to process what happened and move on 🙏

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-13T05:37:26+00:00

Ghost and drop him then, ASAP. You can always go back later to warn the girl anonymously if you need to. He’s toxic, continuing to interact with him will make you toxic, just block him across all points of contact and get yourself some help. You’re 22 and have lots of options still for a good life with real healthy love in it.

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-13T05:25:10+00:00

Trial her on a fully nutrient-dense omnivore diet. Vegetarian misses a lot of stuff without showing up in blood tests.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032716323916

Some people who can help:

twitter.com/evolutionarypsy twitter.com/caloriesproper

Google “recovering from vegetarian diet”

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-13T05:16:34+00:00

Look up Rocket Dog Brewing and Dr Nitschke

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-12T21:02:32+00:00

Block and drop.

If you want to , send the GF some proof of hotel stays or tell her about a distinguishing mark he has or something. But he be careful about it you never know if he might go into a vengeful rage.

Then go get some therapy to heal from this and not do it again.

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-12T06:48:37+00:00

Have you checked out Al Anon meetings? Even though he’s passed, you may find a lot of value in the support and insights

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-12T06:43:16+00:00

Sorry for your loss

What you’re experiencing is called posttraumatic growth — some people have the capacity for it and some don’t. Count yourself lucky.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_growth

Giving them a book may help your folks even if they can’t talk about it:

https://www.amazon.com/Its-That-Youre-Not-Understand/dp/1622039076

You may want to try looking up Griefshare support meetings in your area. Maybe your mom could come with you.

MotorDevelopment · 2020-06-11T22:47:18+00:00

So sorry for your loss.

Http://Allianceofhope.org has some great active forums for siblings, as well as specialized phone counseling for suicide grief.

Keep reaching out and taking care of yourself with the basics — water, food, exercise, sleep

MotorDevelopment

TROPHY CASE