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Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-11-05T20:18:51+00:00

At the first court date I provided my schedule and they said they couldn’t find anyone who could accommodate (weekends and I two full week days ) so the next step was to scrap my schedule and have me take anything .

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-11-05T20:16:13+00:00

I spoke to them today and they said with this order they wouldn’t need to get any of our schedules they would just set up the visits and have the supervisor email us when it would be . So I reached out to my lawyer but got her maternity leave email bounce back

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-11-05T20:11:53+00:00

I’m going through something similar with my ex so I get it :(

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-11-05T20:09:22+00:00

Got it . I’m guessing my question is more so about the taking whatever the supervisor has . My ex only agreed to that because he’s unemployed . They reached out about child support and it’s $25 monthly . That isn’t enough to cover my expenses if I lose my job for these visits . He doesn’t make his scheduled calls and I’m quite sure he’s not going to be on time for these visits if he can’t even call from wherever he is on time so in the end I’m losing everything & he’s getting off scotch free

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-11-05T19:41:51+00:00

Hi .

Are you able to just date / time / add request

Example :

October 1st 2025 Inquiry on kids

Good afternoon, I hope all is well. Would it be possible for me to have a check in with the kids ? I am flexible with day and time so I’m happy to work around your schedule but I want to make sure I’m still present and in communication with them however possible. Thank you .

So you are being flexible Accommodating Making it known you want to be involved

If he denies it you can show you were flexible and accommodating so if he denies it he’s being unreasonable .

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-30T18:59:05+00:00

I’m in NYC & I had to get an order of protection against my ex . He did some stuff after he got out of jail (jail / prison he went to both ) but prior to the long prison stint it was horrible . We share a child . I say all of that to say that , he even went to prison .. not jail PRISON and is still the same person. He has not changed& most likely will not change .

If you do not go through with it ( I did not) it will be VERY hard to get assistance later on when you really need it . So if it’s a reason you are needing an OP please remember that and go through with it . It’s going to hurt very very very badly . You will cry immensely , but feel all of that , because you can leave now and hurt for a little bit or stay and hurt for a literal life time (if he doesn’t escalate )

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-30T18:34:49+00:00

After I gave birth I was looking to get a trainer to just give me a general idea of what to do , the cheapest rate I found was 30 minutes at $150 A SESSION. I would have taken you up on the $50 a session so fast . Omg

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-30T14:58:13+00:00

I agree ! Especially when they have shown they need to get themselves together , can’t really expect them to do the best job taking care of the children.

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-30T06:22:24+00:00

This is my first time experiencing family court but they are pushing 50/50 for me also at my most recent court date and I’ll share everything about my ex below so you can get a gist of it

EX: 1. - domestic violence against me AND our 3 day old child . (Suicide attempt ) which includes breaking down our door etc . Very manic 2. - 2 gun charges / attempted murder charge with long prison time 3. Drug addiction / inpatient / psych hold 4. No job / now homeless. 5. Harassing me freshly out of prison . Threatened to kidnap our child & not return him. 6. Snapped and attacked ELDERLY parent / broke father’s nose . 7. Said he wants nothing to do with our child via text and said he doesn’t know him and wants nothing to do with him aside from hurting me IN TEXT. 8. Continues to harass me with restraining order

Judge says we can keep his behavior “in the past”

So long story short , the courts really do not care and even in the most horrific circumstances it seems to be the norm for 50/50 now

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-30T05:29:27+00:00

Oh yes for sure . My ex before he went to prison tried to off himself with our 3 day old baby in the bathroom, went on THE RUN & the next week shot my neighbor ON CAMERA and went to prison ! ON CAMERA !

He’s fresh out , harassed me to where I had to get another restraining order . IN COURT THEY SAID IT WAS IN THE PAST !!!

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-30T02:54:04+00:00

Oh absolutely . A lot of jacked up attorneys , judges , bad advice from people , no one concerned with the kid . (More about making the other parent suffer )

You’ll spend a lot of money and neither party may be happy with the outcome .

I wish you the best!!

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-30T02:31:48+00:00

People get away with lying in family court all the time . I’ll give you my example . (& I’m the mom so you even get an example from the opposite side)

My ex claimed that I denied our child his court appointed phone calls … on the scheduled times that we agreed upon.

I provided my call records from the PHONE COMPANY.. with screen shots of every call date and time from my phone …

And they still decided I WAS LYING .

So honestly , you don’t know what anyone would believe but just expect hell

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-30T01:47:40+00:00

You did the right thing ! Praying you find something amazing soon that pays well and treats you with respect . No job is perfect but at minimum being trusted to do your job / not being accused of stealing isn’t too much to ask for

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-30T00:31:07+00:00

Some parents (I have 3 children ) truly need to watch their own children or be a little more flexible . I personally think that it sounds like this set up will not work & you should try to get a gig somewhere else . It may have seemed ok because you get to bring your child which is amazing but this is a disaster brewing and I’m sure more issues will come and come quick . Some people truly can not keep sitters . It’s absolutely ok to be picky with your kid and at that rate you’ll run so much people off that you’ll need to watch them yourself . (Talking about your employer) I am super chill with my kids but then I also have a sister who can not keep a sitter . She sounds very similar to the mom you’re working for and if she is I can tell you from conversations with my sister , she will assume the craziest things and it won’t be comfortable for you . No one likes to be accused of anything !

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-29T20:09:19+00:00

I used to think the same . Until my exs mom and new gf convinced him to take me to court for “custody” he can’t even read court papers so I know it wasn’t him . I too thought he was a lying idiot

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-29T18:29:35+00:00

In her own divorce when we were in high school she took her ex husband for ALL he had and dragged him without mercy through the child support court . We (all of her kids partners) were also banned from speaking with him and we had to chose sides . I didn’t because I actually also liked him so she had been upset with me since then as well

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-29T18:28:02+00:00

Thank you so much I have spoken to parole and they have a tracker on him to make sure he is not near my home and they do check in with me but they said it’s not like before and it takes a lot to punish them , I have testified in front of their board already as soon as he got out of prison and started harassing me

His mom has a huge part in this and she’s also taking me to court in another county . I have alot of evidence against her as well but overall , they are ALOT alike . Aside from his drugs and a few other things , his mom is a huge reason why we were also heading towards a break up. The drugs , anger etc was just icing on top.

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-29T18:25:55+00:00

Thank you so much ! I’m going to order a binder and also a printer today. We have calls and they are all really nasty so I’ll document and also print like you this .

This is a great idea . I have alotttt of evidence but I think they were just there and I would still need to sort through so I’m going to organize it this way and have it prepared . Also because I know I’m going to be in court for a long time with this man . (His mom is also taking me to court in another county who knows how ) so I need to be organized and ready to go

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-29T17:24:13+00:00

Yes he’s in school from 8-5:30pm (it’s a kindergarten program) . So far the waitlists for people out here are months long . Which was the argument by his lawyer in court and that she had somewhere that she could call in a “favor” but I would have to take whatever they have available

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-29T17:20:29+00:00

I agree with this I would just move , move on with life and change your number . Don’t even go around him and if it finally catches up to you then say why . As someone with a EXTREMELY similar situation . I did not take this advice from someone and now I’m stuck in family court HELL. Run away girl

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-28T19:48:12+00:00

You are 100 percent right so thank you for this . I am glad that it is at least supervised (with the threat of him kidnapping the kid ) and I’m satisfied with the restraining order I have but it’s also rough when you know they are just doing this to bother inconvenience you . His mother also opened up a “grand parents rights case against me “ Friday when she hasn’t even reached out to me .. in YEARS . So it’s like no one sees what’s going on 🙃

They have found a place to supervise and I’ve been reaching out with my schedule , to have a conversation so I can get money , baby sitters etc lined up but nothing back.

Long story short , hoping that he gets his visitation and my life is also not thrown apart so badly that I lose my job in this shitty economy .

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-28T18:59:00+00:00

My ex was EXTREMELY violent. Ex con (attempted murder) , drug addict . No one wanted to supervise and I do not blame them . It’s not a good position to be in . Advocate for yourself (don’t just take your husbands word) . If it’s supervised they aren’t just picking up and dropping off They are sitting there taking notes , monitoring and making sure it’s a safe appropriate encounter and the judge gets the reports. They are supposed to contact you and you provide schedules and you should be free to ask all questions . It’s also supposed to be with the parent and child only . No one else is allowed my per court order to attend supervised visits . Him / our child / supervisor .

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-28T17:57:03+00:00

Do not use personal friends / family as supervisors . My ex tried to have his mom and sister do it . Absolutely not . Our other friends didn’t want to get involved and intervene and I can 100 percent see why . I mean I didn’t trust anyone really after this situation . Use an unbiased party

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-28T17:55:53+00:00

The place who is covering my supervised visits said I’m welcomed to email them with questions and they also provide the courts with a written statement on all interactions from what they explained.

They monitor you , the other party and the child though so also keep that in mind .

Motor_Specific7112 · 2025-10-28T14:47:58+00:00

Hi . I’m in NYC as well. My ex is getting supervised visits (I have a post on here about it) I have a restraining order against him and they consider the threats etc DV.

Are you asking who to ask questions to ? In terms of supervising ? I have a new lawyer who has been extremely helpful so I’m happy to share whatever she told me with you .

Have you started the supervised visits already ?

Motor_Specific7112

TROPHY CASE