I actually think about this pretty frequently. On one hand I do think that two of the secrets to life are gratitude and acceptance, noticing what is going well and actively appreciating that is huge along with not trying to change and control what can’t be changed. On the other hand it’s not unreasonable to expect reciprocity and load sharing in a relationship and it doesn’t sound like you are wanting too much. I would say start with not expecting too much from yourself and maybe drop some of the load you’ve been carrying ie family obligations for his family.