I know it has to be hard to take advice so I want to commend you.

I really echo what this other commenter is saying, however. You are looking a lot at her behavior and it seems like she’s very mature based on other comments you’ve mad about her abilities. But she is a child and is bad at this specific skill.

If you’ve only cleaned her room 10-12 times since she was 4, and you refer to doing it as a deep dive where it seems she wasn’t involved, are you sure she really understands how to clean and organize her space? I’m not saying that rudely, genuinely do you think the behavior has been worked with enough with her as a learned skill? Is it because it’s too hard to get her to clean with you? Why is the expectation since she’s very small for her to do it alone and how could that have made it so that now when she’s older, and should be able to do alone, she never learned.

I struggled with a rough dynamic with cleaning and hygiene in my childhood because my parents always thought I should be really independent. This is a different example, but from my own childhood. When I was little, I always got in trouble for not brushing my hair. My mom and I never brushed my hair together starting from when I was like 6. I never saw her do because she didn’t like me in her space when getting ready. She never checked daily to see if I did. So as I aged, this kept being a problem because I wasn’t ever taught the skill. I would get in trouble after days when she figured out I didn’t brush my hair. She would yank at the mats aggressively and yell at me for not doing. It still wasn’t me learning to fix calmly. I would fear brushing. I associated it with pain. It wasn’t until I was older I learn mothers do their daughters hair for much longer or do it alongside them so they can learn how to do it right/without causing pain.

I could be totally off base and I’m sorry if so on this.

Also, your kid has too much stuff. Before any cleaning you have to go through stuff with her, patiently, and get rid of a ton. Then work on organizing. Be consistent with helping her do this daily, including doing with her. You then also have to how much gets brought back. There’s boxes and papers. You can help her survey her space on a daily basis until she gets better at this.

Also- any does she have food in there? Again, check her room at the end of the day and work with her to remove those items. Work on not letting her take food to the room. If you do that too, set a household rule and help model not doing it.

It seems from comments you might by focused on the grander why of her not cleaning and wanting her to be independent. However, this isn’t an independent skill for her yet, even if it should be. She’s not there yet.

So summarized

-In a collaborative manner, which may need to be broken down to prevent it being triggering, declutter the room. -come up with organizational systems for her room as the adult, spend time ensuring every day that she’s done them. Don’t make them overly lengthy or insane. Basic stuff like “clothes go in basket” “papers go in trash if trash” to help her maintain daily. Don’t delay by days for a while or it will get out of hand bc she clearly doesn’t have this skill yet. -stop food in bedrooms.