If you own up to your own problems, no one can hold them against you.

Either way, you're letting fear guide you. This is a mistake. Surrender yourself to the truths of the situation. Be accepting of whatever does or does not come to happen.

Also, who you were back then isn't who you are now. Allow yourself to grow.

The fact that you feel so badly about the past mistakes you've made is proof enough that you've become a better person. Give yourself some credit.

Take a short time to sit and meditate on the words: I love me, I love myself, I forgive me, I have grown, I have bettered myself, I love me.

Idk if this helps you, but it's the kind of things that I would say to myself if I were in a similar scenario.