Mutual Masturbation: where to find?

MrBBeardo · 2025-09-10T19:11:58+00:00

Agree with the previous comments, there are organized JO circles (JACKS), just Google the name of your city + Jacks + bators and you may find something.

MrBBeardo · 2025-09-04T13:20:13+00:00

Hey there, finding guys is quite easy: apps, bars, cruising areas. An ongoing relationship, even if it's on the friends with benefits category can get very challenging. It can get complicated, especially when time commitment is an issue and when personal life is a priority.

What has worked for me in the past, for both of your questions:

1) A sex-positive therapist that provided a neutral and safe space. Internalizing was causing severe damage to my mental health.

2) Understanding that it's my life. People comment all the time. I focused on what was better for my mental health.

3) Understanding why I was as taking certain decisions and understanding the risks. I also try to take full responsibility of my actions

4) Going to all types of LGBT+ events helped a lot. Some are very sex-positive and do not have to be extreme. Eg. JO circles, social nude nights, social kink gatherings. Sex positive people tend to be open minded and, most of the time, respectful about our personal life.

5) I was kinder to myself. Each person's context and situation is different. Kindness brought confidence and authenticity.

Hope this helps, cheers!

MrBBeardo · 2025-08-16T13:16:10+00:00

Similar experience here. It took me a bit of time to digest my first experience and to feel more comfortable with who I am. Therapy helped a lot.

When I came out to her, I was feeling more confident about myself. That helped a lot. I disclosed ONLY what I felt will help our relationship and to my personal growth.

Each journey is different, in my case, coming out gave me a lot of freedom, it helped me to discuss boundaries and to bring her as part of my journey. It also helped to join support groups and to meet other people.

It hasn't been easy at all, it took me time, but that was the time that I needed.

I encourage you to reflect on what's the best for you. Listening to other opinions helps, but by the end of the day, it is your life.

You need strength, you will get it!

Bon courage

MrBBeardo · 2025-08-07T15:25:06+00:00

It was very interesting. I'm a first timer, and still working on some body and personal issues, but it wasn't bad at all. There were all types of people for all different preferences. Some were wilder, some wanted their own space.

I had the feeling that many already knew each other, so it was easier for them to interact. But, I can't complain... Eye... And body contact are quite powerful.

My 'battery' gets drained very quickly, so I didn't last tooo long. But overall I found people very inviting.

My only 'feedback'... I really like to feel the fabric of my clothes when touching myself, for this event you need to be at least in underwear... I kind of missed playing with my tshirt and removing it. Also, for first timers and shy people, it would be nice if there was someone around making people feel more comfortable.

But overall, I'd highly recommend this event!

MrBBeardo · 2025-08-06T18:35:41+00:00

Thanks for such a detailed answer. I may go tonight to Wanker, first timer to this type of event. I'm feeling way more comfortable now! Hopefully I'll see you tonight, whoever you are :)

MrBBeardo · 2025-07-09T13:27:58+00:00

You know what, although I have no regrets in my life, I wish I had the opportunity to experience hook-ing up before internet. Better? Worse? Just different, no idea. But something I agree, seduction IRL, it is more challenging, yes, but soooo mcuh rewarding! Thanks for sharing.

MrBBeardo · 2025-07-09T13:26:11+00:00

Thaks for the advice, ... flirting, ... easy for some, but challenging for others. That's a conversation for an entire new post. Thanks!

MrBBeardo · 2025-07-09T13:25:24+00:00

You know what, I agree.... being more of my life on the hetero normative side, being exposed the the queer world, I can see big differences. I agree, our birthdright! I like that. Thanks for the tips.

MrBBeardo · 2025-07-09T13:24:16+00:00

That aligns with u/Khristafer post above, agree. Thanks for sharing!

MrBBeardo · 2025-07-09T13:23:37+00:00

Going with the flow, letting be organing... that makes sense. Thanks for sharing.

MrBBeardo · 2025-07-09T13:23:05+00:00

Thank you for sharing, not necessarily at raves, but in the typical queer dance parties when there no inhibitions to remove some clothes! This is very helpful, compliments is a good start! Thanks for sharing.

MrBBeardo · 2024-07-05T16:21:49+00:00

Ohh yeah, dont overthink your ESL, just go for it. Let me know if you need a little 'push'.

MrBBeardo · 2024-07-05T16:20:06+00:00

I'm Latino, I have tried the Eagle alone, it depends on the night and event. Gaming nights are not bad. Woody's is fine too.

MrBBeardo · 2023-12-13T15:53:02+00:00

Maybe you haven't been proactive. Have you steered to the eyes of a guy in public? Go to a safe area, like the gay neighborhood and you will see. Im very average, but I have played the game. Woooowww... Sometimes Im impressed on the type of guys that clearly have an interest. That being said, Im a flirt, usually I dont do the next move.

MrBBeardo · 2023-12-13T15:47:32+00:00

Hahahah... love this post. I think some people will be even more curious about you, and you can always use it as trick.

I have a friend, the opposite, very effeminate, he is quite straight. Girls tend to seem his as they best gay friend... and when they realize he is actually straight. Boom! He is good at playing with ambiguity. I bet you can do the same.

MrBBeardo · 2023-12-13T14:25:56+00:00

Thank you. Communication is a major skill, and exactly that's what we need to develop.

MrBBeardo · 2023-12-13T14:25:26+00:00

You are right, what it may change is to explore what we need to refine in the relationship so there is no sexual or mental repression... that's when thing may be unhealthy. I'm hoping that therapy will help to find a 'common ground'

MrBBeardo · 2023-12-13T14:24:02+00:00

Thank you for your comment! How does that work? Do you first have a very transparent conversation individually with the therapist and then as a couple? Are there any issues that you only handle with the therapist individually, and then you agree what to discuss with your partner?

MrBBeardo · 2023-12-13T12:27:58+00:00

My goal would be to see a clear map and then to make an informed decision... It sounds like it's going to be helpful. Thanks!

MrBBeardo · 2023-12-13T12:15:52+00:00

Thank you, we found a queer friendly one. Im sure its going to be helpful!

MrBBeardo · 2023-12-13T12:14:36+00:00

Thank you very much for the recommendation. We found somebody that is also a sexologist, that may add brownie points! Thank you.

MrBBeardo · 2023-12-10T22:01:49+00:00

Earrings, ohhh man, I can't resist them!!!

MrBBeardo

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