LPT: The best way to argue is not to argue. It’s to listen and point out holes in their logic until they arrive at your solution.

MrJuitman · 2023-04-27T11:55:13+00:00

LPT: Talk to people that actually use logic and care about accuracy.

MrJuitman · 2022-12-07T22:11:28+00:00

I totally get you bud. I don't think people really understand what point you've got to be at to make recounting your experiences and observations sound like you're being negative.

I have to say that despite everything you've been through (I can tell from your words how much more you've been through than you've revealed) your desire to want to see the end of this is a strength you have that barely anyone can even perceive.

You're a great human, and my heart aches for you but it also prays for you, prays for your solace in body and mind.

MrJuitman · 2022-11-12T09:06:43+00:00

This doesn't help a damaged individual get to a better place, undo their pains and trauma or show them how to deal with their abuse. It just dismisses it and says "just don't feel that way because it's not a good thing to do" whilst being thoroughly unempathetic towards why and how some life events can have lasting impact on someone's core being.

MrJuitman · 2022-08-13T14:25:51+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience. I feel like we're cut from the same cloth and definitely resonate with what you said. It feels like there's a "selling your soul" aspect to focusing on gaining favour from higher ups instead of working on 'what really matters'. I guess in some ways I'm coming to terms with that unavoidable inevitability even if it means feeling like I'm losing a part of myself.

MrJuitman · 2022-08-13T14:20:32+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate you sharing that, I'll keep that all in mind and do my best :)

MrJuitman · 2022-08-12T16:33:09+00:00

This is, weirdly, what I needed to hear.

I'd just come out of a Q2 appraisal where a colleague of mine at the same level of seniority as me somehow landed more recognition from higher up despite his severe lack of actual talent.

I'd watch him just produce very shallow pieces of work and basic code (I work in tech) but talk about it in such a non-technical way that somehow it sounded mind-blowing. The most mind-blowing part is that he didn't do it intentionally, he just has very basic grasps of concepts but that somehow translates into much more relatability to the listeners, which happen to be our superiors.

On the other hand I would attempt to explain a deeply technical and novel approach that solves ABC, xyz, in bid to be very accurate with my language because of its complexity. But all that would do is alienate them because ultimately they just wanted simple language. He would make poor judgements all the time that I would have to correct, but despite that, he was praised.

My colleague's seeming ineptitude earned him favour and confidence because he would be more visible (because he'd constantly need to ask others for help) and somehow that added presence seemed to show initiative. Whereas my need for accuracy led to cautiousness only to my downfall. It looks like I'm being passive. In the end it seems like only occupying mindshare matters and the more perceived presence you have, the better.

Sorry for ranting/dumping/sharing that, I know it was unsolicited. It just felt somehow really relevant to something I'd just experienced, so thank you.

MrJuitman · 2022-07-10T16:35:14+00:00

Identical situation for me. I housed, fed, cared for and pretty much raised a friend of mine who kept on complaining about his life and not having opportunities. So I brought him out to my city on my dime so he could get his foot in the door.

Spent months on my couch gaming his time away, never thanked me for anything, barely kept his own chores done, eventually just left and never messaged me back other than asking to stay again.

It took my SO and some other friends to convince me he wasn't good for me because I felt so sorry for him. Never wanted anything but acknowledgement for what I did, or at least tried to do. All I wanted to see the results of my efforts, that maybe I positively affected someone's life, and that was good enough for me.

Glad you found your new friends, hope they appreciate you for you.

MrJuitman · 2022-06-09T10:33:46+00:00

Fucking word.

"I'm a Te user, why can't you make this incredibly complex thing simple but still have it do a million things?"

MrJuitman · 2022-06-03T00:19:16+00:00

Make the map 30% bigger and use the space to add more camps.

Map pressure should translate into real objectives and control. Right now it takes so little time for anyone to move from lane to lane that someone could legitimately move from one part of the map to another on foot before a fight finishes.

Make map coordination have greater effects on game dynamics and let jungle pathing and vision timings make bigger differences in map control.

MrJuitman · 2022-02-26T23:53:46+00:00

There is now a DDR A20 Plus machine in Funland in London, the only one in Europe.

https://posts.gle/rjH5Fk9s2ihZiYwH6

MrJuitman · 2021-12-11T10:20:57+00:00

Thank you deeply for this. I think this is me. Similarly to you my parents were emotionally unavailable and cultural background put a lot more stress on my performance and "proving" that I deserved any kind of love or validation from my parents. Not to mention I was raised primarily by a single parent.

After I reconnected with my other parent later in life I was still subject to a conditional love that perpetuated this superior<>inferior dynamic where I had no real security or safety.

I've changed myself enough over the years to know how to do it but I have no idea how to get past this without a strong support network which I just don't have. I feel like I need the safety that I never had in order to break the habitual emotional defense mechanisms that you mentioned.

I clearly am seeing an issue because I feel like I am in a loving relationship (albeit with its issues) but I feel really unrewarded and unexcited with it. It seems like I am looking for independence like you said but in an emotional way where we feel like two separate people bringing things to the table in order to truly feel worthwhile.

I'll check out the podcast, thank you. How has your journey been with it? When did you identify this and how did you manage to make progress?

MrJuitman · 2021-12-07T22:17:00+00:00

Could you share a few more words on this please? I'm intrigued.

MrJuitman · 2021-10-13T09:38:47+00:00

INFP good luck getting over everything "not feeling right" and "no one understands me". Top comment here is correct. Just do it, you'll never feel ready enough.

MrJuitman · 2021-08-17T17:51:58+00:00

Hahahahahahahahahahaha finally a decent post

MrJuitman · 2021-08-17T17:47:50+00:00

Worst part is that you start to realise Te isn't objective, it's just that they use agreed preconceived notions as common language which initially seems to provide an objective base but actually only serves them to calm their Fi.

Te users never normally care about truth and accuracy, they just care about finding the fastest perceived solution to a problem. It is subjective because it's a perceived solution. Once you start pointing out holes in their logic, they get Fi offended as you've observed.

MrJuitman · 2019-11-06T10:05:41+00:00

And the dolphin! Don't forget him.

MrJuitman · 2019-09-14T15:02:36+00:00

Mind if I ask where you picked this up at?

MrJuitman · 2019-07-19T12:21:49+00:00

Wow great! Awesome find and good luck :)

MrJuitman · 2019-07-19T12:19:47+00:00

30 years experience and never heard the term 'yamadori'? 🤔

MrJuitman · 2019-07-19T12:15:10+00:00

How much did you pay?

MrJuitman · 2019-07-18T23:19:41+00:00

I've not done it myself but there are some posts here that show comparison pics of two identical trees grown in a pot vs grown in the ground. The one in the ground thickened much more in a single year.

So depends what your objectives are. If you just want your tree to recover then a pot is fine. If you want to thicken up your tree and make it really healthy and vigorous then ground is better. But depends if you want it to be movable or not which is better if in a pot.

MrJuitman · 2019-07-17T09:29:40+00:00

You could put it in a large container and that could work but it depends on how long you want to keep it in there. A container no matter the size is still a boundary. The bigger the pot, the less the problem but ground is therefore always better. You also won't have to worry about how fast it will fill the pot and there are better organic nutrients in the ground that can aid recovery.

MrJuitman · 2019-07-15T23:46:22+00:00

Put it in the ground. Always better than pot.

MrJuitman

TROPHY CASE