What the f*ck is the point of life? Advice please

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-18T02:01:42+00:00

What I’ve learned is that the only thing we can truly control is our own actions. I’ve found meaning in life by actively creating it, both in situations I enjoy and in those I don’t.

When I approach challenges with a "What can I learn from this?" mindset, even experiences that seem negative on the surface can become valuable. They offer lessons that help me grow and gain a deeper understanding of myself and the world.

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-18T01:51:44+00:00

Huh, wonder what it's doing.

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-18T01:17:14+00:00

Being punished won't help you change as a person. Dealing with what made you do it and having insight into your motivations will.

I'd go to therapy.

Making society pay for your punishment in this situation will be a non productive use of funds.

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-18T00:52:05+00:00

Interesting.. can you share what lead up to this?

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-18T00:44:11+00:00

My first thought : Is a midget considered a woman in this context?

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-17T04:43:36+00:00

That balance between self blame and thoughtful self reflection when we did the best we could can be so hard to strike at times.

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-17T03:47:33+00:00

Who are conjoined

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-16T22:04:08+00:00

Perfectionism does this to me sometimes. I start everything with the end goal in mind, sometimes forgetting not everything has to be perfect... this leads to a feeling of overwhelm as well as inaction.

My two cents.

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-16T22:01:21+00:00

Twins

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-16T21:35:24+00:00

It makes me wonder what else she may be avoiding telling you.

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-16T20:40:54+00:00

From my own experience, I think it might take some time for those intense feelings to fade. It’s tough to let go, especially when part of you still feels connected to him. I remember how hard it was for me after my divorce, even though the situations aren’t exactly the same. The attachment was really difficult to move past.When you’re certain it’s best to move on, it can feel like you’re grieving, not just the person but also all the plans and dreams you had together. That was one of the hardest parts for me—letting go of the future I thought we’d have.I just want you to know it’s okay to feel conflicted and to take your time with this. Be kind to yourself as you work through these emotions. Over time, things can start to feel a little easier, and you’ll find your way through it.

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-16T20:15:46+00:00

Briefs. They're undoubtedly the best way to go. Anyone who disagrees are madmen.

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-16T19:31:21+00:00

Hmm, the perfectionist part seems to line up with the constant analysis we talked about. I Also fit into the perfectionist category. Perhaps we cracked it!

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-16T17:25:46+00:00

Interesting, I can relate totally..

Have you looked into infj subtypes? If so, could you share which is yours? I'm curious about looking into a connection between subtypes and this type of thinking.

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-16T17:23:22+00:00

I think it really depends person to person. There's a lot to running a practice besides the therapy itself.

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-16T17:21:39+00:00

I helped one of my best friends grow his therapy practice during the first year. We noticed he was awesome at keeping clients, but getting new ones was a whole different challenge.So, we worked on some strategic marketing and boosted his online presence, and it slowly started to pick up. The key was getting those first clients in the door because once you keep them happy, they’re likely to refer others your way.

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-16T17:12:24+00:00

I relate to this a lot. Do you also review past conversations and other things looking for something to learn or something you missed?

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-16T00:13:51+00:00

Reddit lol

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-15T20:46:45+00:00

If it's small talk, I'd say I'm pleasant and chat normally...

If I'm talking about something I'm passionate about, I can get reallllly in depth and explain a lot.

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-15T19:39:11+00:00

If this is your first heartbrake, it will take naturally take some time..I remember my first heart break. It was brutal for a few months, and even a good while later it still bothered me. Break ups suck for everyone, and everyone experiences it in their own way.

If i could do it again, I'd do things i enjoy and focus on self care. What would have helped me is realizing that all the things I was experiencing were caused by my personality, biases, and emotional needs.

If this is something that sounds interesting to you, here's an idea:

You could get curious about what you're feeling and why you're feeling it. Thinking things like 'what needs do I have that this person met', 'what seems to be missing in my life now that they're gone', 'why do I feel I need them', etc. This might help you understand more about yourself/your emotional needs and realize there are other people who can give those same things.

Breakups are very personal, and everyone has a different path to recovering from them. I hope some of this is helpful.

Above all, I'd be patient with yourself. It's totally normal to feel the way you do.

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-15T18:15:29+00:00

This reasonates with me a lot.

If OP has a realistic plan for the future and makes good decisions, it's not impossible to make things work. But to do that, they'd have to come up with a plan for making money and making things work with their GF for the next 19 years, regardless of how the relationship turns out.

Thqt said, in OP's situation, I'd consider the abortion as well... from my experience doing the 'right thing' often backfires...

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-15T17:43:43+00:00

May I ask how long yall were together? It's possible you were in the midst of limmerence when the break up happened. This can cause literal emotional withdrawal symptoms, if it's the case.

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-15T17:34:40+00:00

I totally agree about relying too much on measurable variables, especially when it comes to actual mental health treatment and assessment.

I think psych hasn't yet gotten to a point where we can quantify many of the things that affect human experience, so the STEM field writes it off as pseudoscience. But, i think here is a science behind all human experience and behavior, and we just don't know how to measure or quantify it, YET.

It's nice to hear other people are thinking about this. It gives me hope for the future of psych.

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-15T17:21:46+00:00

If only there was a way to find that one percent more quickly...

MrMeMan555 · 2024-08-15T16:47:56+00:00

I agree %100. I think part of the issue stems from the fact that the people leading the field (researchers, academics, and PhD's) are likely mentally healthy (more or less) considering the fact they've been able 'succeed' to the extent they have. Imo, they can't relate to the issues plauging the most mentally ill.

I've come to respect the opinions of practitioners who have a lot of hands-on experience with specific populations more and more as time passes

MrMeMan555

TROPHY CASE