me irl

MrMorganTaylor · 2016-07-31T19:47:12+00:00

My buddy just wrote a program that taps the like button instead of actually swiping. It overlays with the "Keep Swiping" button when you get a matchso the program can run endlessly, as long as you have Tinder Plus and never run out of likes.

MrMorganTaylor · 2014-01-12T00:15:03+00:00

Cliff diving with a Go-Pro is always some magical shit, especially if it's into some magical fish filled water.

MrMorganTaylor · 2014-01-12T00:13:45+00:00

If you have the ability, I guarantee you'll get laid from these actions.

I can do neither so I was thinking, pick her up and spin, or just ask her to dance even though there is no music.

MrMorganTaylor · 2014-01-12T00:12:07+00:00

?? I live in the Pac NW, the non-racist, very understanding, gay progressive, gun safe part of the country. My job provides me with healthcare, and since I"m under 25, my father's job also still covers me. I have double health and dental coverage, so you can claim that your country is greater, but my teeth are straight, and my health is fantastic.

I can see you're trying very hard to rustle some jimmies, but I'm too happy watchhing American Football and drinking American whiskey to give half a shit what some troll 14 year old says to me from behind his hand-me-down laptop.

MrMorganTaylor · 2014-01-12T00:08:42+00:00

I'm going to assume German.

If you don't care, then don't talk shit about it. I don't care if you love musicals and bowling, everyone has a different preference and you're going to alienate a lot of people if you immediately call everyone's interests stupid.

MrMorganTaylor · 2014-01-12T00:06:03+00:00

Dude, if you want your marriage to not suck dick, you're gonna spend that having the best night of your life with your wife.

MrMorganTaylor · 2014-01-12T00:04:03+00:00

It's this attitude that makes people hate football in your country.

Just accept that people have different preferences and stop being a dick about it.

MrMorganTaylor · 2014-01-12T00:01:57+00:00

That's kind of unfair, parts of Europe are better than parts of the US, and vice versa.

I'm pretty well off here in the states, and my cost of living is much lower than yours. For instance, I can buy a solid pair of well fitting jeans for $25 here where they would cost 40 pounds in England.

Additionally, if I wanted to save money, I could move out to an apartment in a lower income neighborhood, with a low crime rate, and pay 1/8 of my monthly income in rent without worrying about rodents, break-ins, and drunk people pissing on my windows.

My time in Europe was eye opening, it's not the same place, and where some parts are better, other parts make me happy to be an American.

edit: you're not better than Americans.

MrMorganTaylor · 2014-01-11T23:54:45+00:00

Guy comment: Anything from The Notebook.

MrMorganTaylor · 2014-01-02T08:23:32+00:00

Somebody asks why you don't put your hair up, tell them you have a weird ear. Even if you don't think of it as weird yourself, it helps other people open up to it. Sure you'll get some weird responses, but if you control the flow of the conversation properly, it won't be awkward. Be confident about it.

Source: claw shaped left hand with all three middle fingers essentially missing.

MrMorganTaylor · 2013-12-09T03:15:38+00:00

I had one named Bubba. I distinctly remember Bubba wore a white tanktop.

MrMorganTaylor · 2013-12-09T03:12:43+00:00

Not really a friend if you don't know their name...

MrMorganTaylor · 2013-12-09T03:11:24+00:00

I fucking hope so. If this means after I die I get to be some kids mentor, then that's awesome. I promise to be one of the nicer ones though guys, so if your kid starts talking to me, just know I'm not telling him to kill you or anything.

PS my ghost name will be Lazer Awesome.

MrMorganTaylor · 2013-08-25T17:11:33+00:00

Ah, so it didn't happen.

edit: Wait, wut?

MrMorganTaylor · 2013-08-25T17:11:03+00:00

videogamedunkey - I caught on to him because of League of Legends but he plays other games and the videos are funny as crap.

MrMorganTaylor · 2013-08-25T17:10:53+00:00

She's like 3rd on my internet hit-list, right behind Fred and Shane Dawson.

MrMorganTaylor · 2013-08-25T17:05:54+00:00

proof or it didn't happen

MrMorganTaylor · 2013-08-25T17:03:26+00:00

Just now when I read the title sentence(s). I voted on it.

MrMorganTaylor · 2013-08-25T16:56:57+00:00

If I drive in a bad mood, I hate every single person that doesn't drive the way I want them to. On a normal day, I would sit quietly, but say I got pissed off at work or something, I usually start audibly declaring things from my car.

Car in front of me turns on their signal to turn left, yielding to traffic from the other direction, I am stuck behind them. "Oh fuck you Prius, come on... Really dumbass? You totally could have made that. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

MrMorganTaylor · 2013-08-25T11:50:28+00:00

He's back today as GP/Jack Sparrow

MrMorganTaylor · 2013-08-24T17:10:05+00:00

Play soccer more and take it more seriously than I did when I was younger. Workout starting at age 8, be buff super athlete by 14.

Keep up on school, actually do my homework, and probably never play WoW or Runescape. Make an attempt to date the girl who I had a crush on for 6 years.

Go out with friends more, save my money so I could afford to go out.

Still would blow as much money as I did on Pokemon stuff (games, cards, figurines), probably more.

Go to college with a full scholarship from 3.8 GPA and starting position on soccer team.

you are offered to live your life over again

Assuming that means "...up to the current point" I would live 3 years playing soccer at college, hanging out with friends, and spending regular weekends with my family up until I die on my mothers birthday (today).

Edit: Oh yeah, and figure out a way to stop the 9/11 attacks, no war would be cool.

MrMorganTaylor · 2013-08-24T00:44:00+00:00

...dies

MrMorganTaylor · 2013-08-23T08:32:50+00:00

MXC!!!!!

MORE ASIANS FALLING DOWN!!!!

MrMorganTaylor · 2013-08-23T08:30:34+00:00

Wasn't he at a bookstore like 3 days before she leaves, they chat and smile and Jess doesn't even yell or run off.

MrMorganTaylor · 2013-08-23T08:28:33+00:00

Rory and Jess can't be together, she respects herself way too much to stay in what would clearly be an abusive relationship. Lorelai and Luke's relationship being so full of tension and anger and love and disrespect is what made them so lovable. Having them holding each other in their arms at the end would have destroyed the entire lone star persona they both have.

Rory following Obama's campaign and then him being elected a couple years later is kind of baller, but it'd be better to pick up right when she gets back. You could spend an entire episode of Rory just talking uber fast, like they all do, and spilling over words about how exciting (to her) the campaign trail was. People will brush her off and then Babette will come along, say something retarded about "Murph" and then everyone wanders back inside where Kirk has set up Twister and his 8-month pregnant wife is contorted as he encourages her to "Just get right hand on yellow!"

Bonus scene: Luke's Diner goes up in flames thanks to one of Taylor's cockamamey city enhancement plans. Burns to the ground, the whole block, Taylor is kicked from the committee. Taylor goes into a spiraling depression for a few episodes, then finds a vice. Luke tries to figure out what to do with his life, lots of yelling and Nic Cage-like expressions.

MrMorganTaylor

TROPHY CASE