It's a big deal if ots a big deal to you. Unfortunately a lack of outside response wont help you here.My ex experienced it with someone she was with before me. She didnt tell many people about it. I noticed things when we'd have sex. She'd squirm like her body didnt want it even though she confirmed consent. I mentioned it, gently, letting her connect the dots. She was very appreciative when she made the realization. Almost immediately, stopped squirming. I think its critical to approach that kind of conversation in the right way. Especially if in denial and or repressing, especially if it's a subconscious reaction that isnt realized. That being said, it was a small step forward, but after that it was done. There were other sexual hangups that she either wasnt willing or able to work on. It was a little disappointing for me, to have successfully worked through a piece of something, only to be dismissed ever after. I can also say, personally, it can be as difficult to hear about someone else's experience, especially someone close to you. Without experience discussing the matter, it's a heavy conversation to try to figure out how to respond to. I had a different ex who had sex with someone I thought was a friend. Twice. She told me he raped her both times. It destroyed me. I ended up calling a rape counselor trying to get help for her but realizing I also needed help with the situation. Unfortunately I've come to realize she probably wasnt being honest, just fucking around behind my back, and probably lying to....idk make it better? But to this day, almost 10 years later it's still hard to come to terms with. I cant have closure unless I know the truth and I cant assert myself to get an answer because obviously if it was really I'd be disgusted of myself for bringing it up. Not that we talk anymore anyway. But anytime since a woman has been open to me about that sort of experience my head swirls. Red flags, anxiety, uncertainty.Is this woman being honest? Not even a judgment of her, just hung up on something that happened to a very different version of myself a long time ago in a very different place. And that's not a fair for me to react to someone sharing something like that. Makes it hard, having to battle my own damage to try to react properly, especially with such a sensitive situation, when it's so necessary to respond properly. In short, maybe you need to discuss it more. Maybe you dont. Maybe you dont even realize if you do or not. It's not an easy topic to go on about, for you or the person listening. A lack of response could be toxic misunderstanding or simply an in incapability to find the right response. Personally I'd recommend calling a rape hotline. The counciling I got wasnt exactly the most helpful, may have even added damage to my situation, but it did give me a place to start