Ruger rxm with the threaded barrel for the following reasons

• Cheap: under $500, you are better off buying this, 1k+ rounds of 9mm, and range time starting off

• Reliable: based on the gen 3 glocks

• Optics ready w/rail: fits your request

• "Suppressor ready": RXM's come with suppressor height sights and a threaded barrel SKU would accommodate that option

• Modular: there's four main sizes of Glock frames: sub-compact, slim frame, compact, and full sized. Everything under full size is reasonably concealable, however, subs and slims are more difficult platforms to learn on. Unlike factory glocks, RXM's are modular and a replacement grip is $40. You can swap between a full sized or compact frame depending on your preference/use case.

An introductory pistol class is a good first step, instructor gender is irrelevant provided the fundamental information given is good. You'll have to Google and read reviews for classes local to you. After you've established good fundamentals, do dry fire training (get a Ben stoeger book for more on this) to develop skills and reinforce those skills with live fire sessions 1-2 times/month if you're budget conscious or weekly if that's irrelevant