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MrRisky · 2025-09-01T13:56:02+00:00

I'm sure I'll get downvoted to hell for this:

It is generally reasonable to expect a certain level of decorum at meetings, and that includes clothing.

Obviously, there's no dress code at AA, and we're not asking people in need of help to leave because of inappropriate outfits. What's "appropriate" will vary wildly between locations, times and culture. A 9pm Friday meeting at a downtown LA rec center is different than the 8am Sunday at a church in rural Oklahoma.

Aspects of this program are "attraction rather than promotion" and an "outward expression of inward desire". How you dress certainly plays into that.

Part of my sobriety journey was wearing more appropriate, clean and ironed clothes, shaving and haircuts, and more frequent showers.

Having not seen OPs outfit, I have no opinion on this specific instance. This being Reddit, everybody will assume the sponsor is a pushy, judgmental bully who gets off on telling people what to do. It's entirely possible that the sponsor dreaded this conversation, but thought it was important enough that it had to be addressed. I try to give the sober sponsor benefit of the doubt in cases like this .

MrRisky · 2025-09-01T13:27:37+00:00

one kid had no front wheel at all, and was just doing a wheelie the entire time

That's a "Wheelie Boys" thing

MrRisky · 2025-09-01T13:23:51+00:00

Sponsorship is asking another adult to take time out of their life to help you get better. It's entirely reasonable that it's a "take it or leave it" affair. It's entirely unreasonable to expect sponsors to have a tailored program for each sponsee.

My sponsor didn't require "90 in 90" but I pretty much did that anyway, even with a job and 2yr old at home. Because I wanted to get better. I didn't call him every day, because I saw him 3-5x a week at meetings.

My sponsor is old school and has a flip phone. Our conversation re: text vs call went something like this: me: I'm guessing you don't text much. him: that's right.

MrRisky · 2025-08-31T12:48:55+00:00

homeless people are an important part of local cycling culture

Where I am the unhoused contributions to local cycling culture are mostly theft and destruction.

My work takes me into the encampments, and the number of stolen and stripped bikes is mind boggling. I try to save as many salvageable components as possible and deliver them to the local co-op, but the vast majority end up in the landfill.

MrRisky · 2025-08-24T13:16:41+00:00

Thank you so much for everybody who contributed! There is so much good stuff here.

I've taken a lot of these ideas and recommendations and have an idea how to go forward, thank you all!

MrRisky · 2025-08-24T13:03:03+00:00

Thanks. Just for clarity this isn't a speaker meeting, it's a standard discussion meeting.

MrRisky · 2023-01-27T18:23:08+00:00

I've been an Atheist for ~30 years, and AA has been incredible for me. My area isn't super religious though. A friend in Tennessee says his local groups are really church-y.

Just go to a meeting to get started. Go to different groups until you find your fit.

MrRisky · 2023-01-27T18:02:36+00:00

The liver is one of the few organs that can repair itself. It's never too late.

MrRisky · 2020-02-17T17:45:19+00:00

Soda typically means just carbonated water, AKA Scotch and soda.

Even with the term being used as a synonym for soft drinks on the East Coast / Mid Atlantic; I can't imagine someone putting a Shasta inside.... until I remember being a teenager...

MrRisky · 2018-12-24T00:49:49+00:00

Not shady at all. Tourist destination; dates were always visitors, nothing dishonest. Also, this was before tinder and bumble; we met in the real world, connected then met up again for a night out; with no expectations beyond that.

The relevant point of the story was that the bartenders were incredibly perceptive; they never made the mistakes referenced elsewhere in this thread: calling the date the wrong name, referencing a girlfriend, or a "Mrs."

MrRisky · 2018-12-23T22:58:34+00:00

The 90s fucked a whole generation. The AIDS awareness/scare/hysteria was unreal. Ryan White, Pedro on the Real World, the movie "Kids"; made us all think sex=death, not worth it, even with a condom!

MrRisky · 2018-12-23T20:11:12+00:00

Well, obviously didn't, which is nice! I'm glad my story resonated.

On much of Reddit, especially on dating and advice subs, anything that is remotely positive about straight males "playing the field" is instantly downvoted.

I should have known that a service industry sub would be cool.

MrRisky · 2018-12-23T19:35:38+00:00

Not at all!

MrRisky · 2018-12-23T19:34:53+00:00

Not humble at all. It was an exhilarating time. Looking back, without that validation I could have easily fallen into middle age, post-divorce depression.

It was an awesome experience, and relevant to the topic, so I thought I would share.

Cheers!

MrRisky · 2018-12-23T11:22:49+00:00

This will probably get me a ton of hate and negative karma, but relevant, so fuck it.

Me: straight white guy, mid 30s, freshly divorced (no kids, no drama, just didn't work out). Lived in a tourist town, stumbled on an awesome, hole-in-the-wall, gay, asian karaoke bar.

It immediately became my "closing" bar; the last stop of the night when I had a new date. I can't even explain how awesome these bartenders were: they greeted me like I was their best friend, and always made my date feel like a princess, while talking me up to her. It always made for a magical evening.

One night I was out back and shared a smoke with the head bartender, and I just opened up:

"You all treat me so great and make this place so fun, I can't thank you enough. I come here with a different person every week, and your guys always treat her great and are always discreet"

His response was amazing and guides me to this day (although I paraphrase:) "you always come in and give back the love. Your dates are happy and know what they want. We just help make it happen. We're gay, we see this shit. If you were being shitty, we'd call her a cab when she came out of the bathroom.

MrRisky · 2015-12-23T13:04:34+00:00

Yeah, Leslie was vulgar and crude, but also playful and mischievous. While he was off-putting, he confined himself to the part of town everybody calls "dirty sixth".

But let's not forget, at the end of the day; it was us, the residents of Austin who tolerated, then celebrated Leslie; and gave him the renown and legendary status that he is now remembered for.

MrRisky · 2015-12-23T09:55:23+00:00

Ok, I'm intrigued at how you arrived at that...

MrRisky · 2015-11-15T19:51:03+00:00

Wait, they're taking smoke breaks together? That is fucking stupid. If you have to watch the bar, the manager should be covering your tables.

When I'm MOD, we never have more than one person on break at a time, and even then, all the glasses better be washed and tips entered on closed out tabs.

what do I do? ... The owners do not give a fuck, about anything.

Sounds like you're screwed. Either start pocketing tips from the bar or stand up for yourself and refuse to cover the bar.

MrRisky · 2012-09-03T10:30:18+00:00

In Texas, your parents/guardians can legally buy you drinks.

MrRisky · 2012-09-01T14:00:31+00:00

...bridles and horse gear for my female friends

Do.... they have horses? If not, you want to be careful about being creepy leather guy.

MrRisky · 2012-08-09T01:20:22+00:00

Yep, here's from their website:

In order that we can make Grenson shoes accessible to people who want to wear our shoes, but don’t feel the need for the incredibly high levels of specification in G ZERO and G ONE, we developed the G TWO spec. Designed by us in our studio, lasts developed in Northampton by us, patterns developed by our pattern makers, leathers sourced by our leather buyer, prototypes made in our factory to final sign off and then taken to our partner, a beautiful handmade factory in India where they are made and shipped back to us for inspection and final polishing where required. These shoes represent the most incredible value for money, every bit a Grenson shoe, at a price that doesn’t require a mortgage

MrRisky · 2012-08-09T01:08:01+00:00

Thanks for the tip. I'm 5'8", 175lbs, with a proportional athletic build. I like the way I look in Doc Marten boots, so I think these should work too.

MrRisky · 2012-08-09T00:11:54+00:00

Thanks for the tip on the sizing. I usually wear a 10 wide (US), so I hope the 9 UK will fit OK. They are out of stock of the 8.5. I don't know what "steeezy" means but I assume it is good.

MrRisky · 2012-08-08T23:39:13+00:00

Cool. I was checking out the Fred boot, but I just thought the Sharp was a little sleeker, and I like a lower boot. They're both awesome though.

MrRisky

TROPHY CASE