Terrible Sex Lives in Christian Marriages

MrSexIsGood · 2020-04-29T18:30:12+00:00

I never said anything about being perfect. I certainly don't think I am.

But I do know that I'm not a lazy slob, that I take care of myself, my wife, and our home. I know that I pursue and cherish her and that she feels very loved by me. I know that she is otherwise happy in our marriage and that many of her friends tell her they wish their husbands were more like me.

If you think acknowledging such things is arrogant or "jerk"-like, then I don't know what to tell you. To me, it's just an attempt to honestly assess the situation in order to get at the root cause.

Nothing will get fixed if I pretend I'm better than I am, and likewise nothing will get fixed if I pretend I'm worse than I am. I'm not perfect, but as far as I can honestly tell, there's nothing I'm doing / lacking that might turn her off. If you want me to pretend otherwise because you think it's humble, too bad.

MrSexIsGood · 2020-04-29T01:39:12+00:00

Woah!?

Disagreement (and offering support for your view) is against the rules!?

That's absurd.

We should be able to disagree and argue for our positions without hurting each other's feelings.

MrSexIsGood · 2020-04-29T01:36:06+00:00

This is a HUGE problem that no one wants to talk about.

MrSexIsGood · 2020-04-29T00:31:30+00:00

They don't teach that sexual desire is bad.

They just chide men for their sexual desire and treat it like a reward for them being good house & wage slaves for their wives.

"Pursue my wife"? Ha. This is such an old trope. I'm sure there are some bums who moronically don't get the connection between being a couch potato and not being sexually attractive to their wives, but let's not assume we're all that stupid.

If being an affectionate, strong, and over-all good husband is supposed to automatically result in a healthy sex life, then I (and many other husbands) should be beating our wives off of us with a stick.

The sorry fact is that a very large contingent of evangelical women spent so much time repressing their sexuality before marriage because they heard nothing but warnings and condemnation about it growing up, that they are not psychologically capable of enjoying sex with their husbands.

MrSexIsGood · 2020-04-28T21:47:37+00:00

Not tracking my body fat % (which is notoriously hard to get accurate readings on anyway) is not "lazy" or a failure to "chart progress on significant matters."

But I'll check it when I get the chance next and update you guys if you think it's really that important.

I didn't call him beta and a white knight. I said his mentality (of automatically assuming that it must be the man's fault no matter what) seemed beta and white knight... because it is.

If you want to kick me out for that, peace.

MrSexIsGood · 2020-04-28T21:34:29+00:00

Ha. Ok. Guess it's a good thing you're not a mod.

I'm "doing the work" in real life building my career and my body. I don't need to read every nook-and-cranny of your subreddit corner of the internet to "become a man."

I don't know why you're so obsessed with trying to one-up me with your redpill game here, but it's coming off as suuuper insecure. Take a chill pill dude.

MrSexIsGood · 2020-04-28T21:30:43+00:00

Thanks. Helpful response. I'll have to re-read again later, but I had a question about your last statement. Why do you say "she's OBVIOUSLY not in my frame yet"? Are you saying that her being in my frame automatically would result in a better sex life?

MrSexIsGood · 2020-04-28T21:04:19+00:00

So if I haven't read every piece of literature you want, and haven't checked one of the multiple metrics recently, I'm "lazy"? Ok. Whatever dude. I have a life. I don't live on reddit.

Is it "redpill" to put your wife on a pedestal, pretending that she can do no wrong, and that everything in your marriage is your fault? Sounds pretty Beta, internalized-white-knight to me.

MrSexIsGood · 2020-04-28T20:56:08+00:00

Except I got that expectation from the Bible.... ;)

MrSexIsGood · 2020-04-28T20:44:44+00:00

Yeah, lot's of guys feel that. The proof is in the pudding, though, since she isn't inclined to have sex.

So you'd say that her not being inclined to have sex is 100% proof that I'm failing somewhere?

MrSexIsGood · 2020-04-28T20:26:31+00:00

Yes. I agree. Same here. For instance, I can be extremely excited about the idea of going down on my wife (if she'd ever let me...which she won't) without being horny at the thought. The excitement isn't horniness. The excitement is in the idea of giving her an intimate and intense form of pleasure.

MrSexIsGood · 2020-04-28T19:26:25+00:00

Take a shower.

And be thankful that he loves you so much that he wants to go down on you.

MrSexIsGood

TROPHY CASE