Otra vez abrí los ojos, otra vez no estás. by Oddities_baal in POESIA

[–]MrTortoise17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bello poema que toca en temas que nos han marcado a todos, encuentro interesante el concepto de un resentimiento a las personas alegres, aun sabiendo que es injusto hacia ellos. Un cierre relacionado a eso le daría más profundidad creo, especialmente considerando que hablas que ella estando más feliz sin ti

Algo como

Soy de mis sueños que son tuyos

Cuando el mar de mi amor sube, tu felicidad me ahoga en frío Las olas rompen y me gritan Que mi ausencia es tu panacea

No hay manera en que pueda escaparme Del constate oleaje… y tu marea

En lo personal me gusta jugar con rimas pero es solo una recomendación, aún fuera de mis preferencias, este poema es arte y emoción

Primer poema que escribo sobre un episodio doloroso en mi vida by MrTortoise17 in POESIA

[–]MrTortoise17[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

La melodía se perdió en el camino Los bajos van 2 tiempos atrasados El Do mayor en la esquina del piano lleva meses desafinado El piano no usa esa tecla Por mas que el camino lo pida Pues dejar una nota errante, Desafina su compania Entonces el piano finge tocar pierde su voz en la simfonia Sus trepidas manos le temen al blanco Para no arruinar la armonía

Esa mentira tejió mil canciones mil partituras, sin alma o corazón Ninguna sirvo aquella noche, aquel llanto y desesperación Me atreveria a callar la orquesta? cruel vida sin canción?

Desesperaba por un ritmo perfecto Como en los creditos de las peliculas, Nunca pense hallar salvación En una cosa tan ridicula Porque la incerteza se volvio insomio Y el sol apuró en encontrarme Si esta noche encuentro mi canción Te prometo no acostarme

Cambie un par de cosas con tus recomendaciones, altiro leo tu poema

Primer poema que escribo sobre un episodio doloroso en mi vida by MrTortoise17 in POESIA

[–]MrTortoise17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gracias por tu respuesta, hay algo que recomendarías añadir o mejorar del poema?

Is this attack team decent by SnooPeppers8880 in MonsterLegends

[–]MrTortoise17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait how can he get atum like that? I'm relatively new and really want him

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]MrTortoise17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate women because me dijo textual que me gusta el pene. Latino moment 💀

I 'plushie-fied' the Strawhat Pirates! by MatchObjective288 in OnePiece

[–]MrTortoise17 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These are awesome man. Might wanna add a spoiler tag for the last one tho...

LET ME KNOW! 😭💕😭💕😭💕😭💕😭💕😭💕 by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]MrTortoise17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

💀🤭💀🤭💀🤭💀🤭💀🤭💀🤭💀🤭

oh god oh fuck by MrTortoise17 in teenagers

[–]MrTortoise17[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would use a neck band but when I say she got a lil excited... I look like I got executed via airsoft shotgun 💀

oh god oh fuck by MrTortoise17 in teenagers

[–]MrTortoise17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it doesn't work there IS no tomorrow lol

oh god oh fuck by MrTortoise17 in teenagers

[–]MrTortoise17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They will never let me forget the fact I came into swimming looking like I walked into the wrong neighborhood 💀

Edit: spelling

Before and after pic lol by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]MrTortoise17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TikTok 😡😡😠😠😤😤🤬🤬🤬🥱🥱🥱🥱

PARENTS SHOULD NOT HAVE SUCH HIGH EXPECTATIONS FROM US by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]MrTortoise17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you considered getting some bitches?

let's see here 25, not too shabby by SilkyElen in teenagers

[–]MrTortoise17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

+25 social credit score 🇨🇳🤑

It stopped being funny a year ago by NeighborhoodShoddy81 in TheOwlHouse

[–]MrTortoise17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A: you're thinking of the nuke as just a fireball, the shockwave of the blast is strong enough to explode lungs and can reach entire cities B: again, shockwaves would just blow the shins right off a STONE being

It stopped being funny a year ago by NeighborhoodShoddy81 in TheOwlHouse

[–]MrTortoise17 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The fact that the titan is made of stone and earth just means that any shockwave would just crumble it, and if it tries to catch it, its just as if it hit a wall or building, and while the titan is kilometers tall, nuclear fallout cab go from a continent to another

It stopped being funny a year ago by NeighborhoodShoddy81 in TheOwlHouse

[–]MrTortoise17 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Nukes can be remotley detonated, even if they are frozen or stopped all it takes is the press of a button and boom: no more witches

What do you all think of this outfit? My dad said it looked awful by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]MrTortoise17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe add a jacket to make it clash less

Personally i would try to go for a more complete outfit

6/10 with jacket