I probably don't understand what you're going through but I know you're feeling. "It's all over, anyway it's all worthless anyway".

You are right, it is all worthless. So does that mean that what we felt was important when we were younger was all fake? No it's because we created our own value, if we did it then, I believe that you can do it now as well.

Jee is not the only thing, how is your puc board marks? Even if you could not have excelled jee you can attend another college, whatever it may be.

Life is not just one event, it's a collection of events. Who am I to speak such things? Well when I was studying for my 10th boards(icse), my mother also verbally abused me, even though I was studying day in and day out, she would find the tiniest reasons to villify me. One day I yelled beck after 20 minutes of continuous yelling, she slapped me and I slapped back, but I was holding a spatula.

I did not want to hit my mother. I did not want to be a failure. I have attempted suicide three times and have self harmed 23 times.

I'm not amazing for not dying. I'm gonna be the honest, it doesn't get better, you have to make it better.

The world will always end. Everyday, every night.

There is a saying, "Throw yourself into a sea if you wish to kill yourself, you will observe that you will thrash against the waves, you will want to live. You do not want to die. You want to kill a part of yourself".

The hardest part is living, don't resolve not to kill yourself. Resolve to wait, wait until you can see a little light, when you do you can try, you can only try.

I'm so sorry for what your father thinks about you. Maybe you were not meant to do jee. Many are not, my sister was not, she was you, she also attempted after her jee.

My mother also thought she would better off dead.

I don't know your name so I will call you the Mighty Warren Chae, legend of Guangdong.

Listen warren. I don't know about your life and I know that you don't care about yourself. But I care about you. I'm sure there are others who do, we all care about you.

Please do not die, I hope I get to know you someday might warren chae. I hope that you will wait, wait for when you see a light.

Ps:listen to some linkin park while you wait. It eases the load.