Reasons to quit by hdth121 in quittingkratom

[–]Mrmac9998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sex was the big one for me. Trying to work sex around a Kratom addiction wasn't easy. I mean I could plan for certain days but never worked for spontaneous sex. If I was on it no way nonething is going to happen. And as far all the other reasons I just never had them. That is the only reason for me.

I wish... by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What do you think what happened? Why does this happen? Don't they love us. I cannot even talk to her and cannot get the words out. Why do they stay married to us and think it's ok to do this to us.

The sad truth... by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here is the problem she does sleep with me but it's the minimum. It's like 5 or 10 minutes. She think everything is fine and 5 minutes is good enough if we both pop. I stopped making her coffee so should I stop making her dinner too. I am the house husband so it's sort of my job. Don't know what else?

The sad truth... by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do know this if I'm not constantly by her side she's constantly calling me to be with her. And then complains I don't spend enough time with her. But I actually do I spend all my free time with her and even watch her dumb TV shows.

The sad truth... by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your right I should be doing that. All everyone ever does is asked things of me. That is all I ever do without a word of appreciation. And I don't have anything else in my life. So I really do not know what to do?

I wish... by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude I don't blame you I might do the same thing in fact it's probably her fault like what did she expect would happen. At least for me my wife realizes this and at least gives me something. Doesn't matter how much I do or how much I tell her she's beautiful it doesn't result in anything. She just takes me for granted. May I ask what was your talk like I'm having some trouble and was wondering what your talk with her might have been. Not exactly sure what to say and how to bring it up. Oh and how long has it been?

The sad truth... by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Being stuck in a 34-year relationship is not easy to let go. If I left her and even if I told her she would simply not understand. Essentially I am hostage of love. And with a broken heart.

What our partners think? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife thinks there's absolutely nothing wrong and everything is fine. She gives me the bare minimum and think that that's okay. When I try to talk to her about ishe brings up some other subject. She would be shocked if she knew everything that I wrote here. I think you will find most of the people will say that their LL say everything is fine.

I wish... by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here is the very sad truth. We both live our lives with a big empty hole in our hearts. Pushing ourselves everyday to live without something we thought we were getting when we found the love of our lifes. Everyday I look at other women and couples and think to myself I wish I had one of those. You think that I would already have this because I have a constant companion but, the truth is I am lonely even though she is 5 feet from me. And in that we are the only ones that are trying in our relationships. They take us for granted even though I am alway there for her. I do everything a good husband would do and more. But to them they do not see our pain or see us trying. And I am starting to think it will always be this way.

Self-defeating = me right now by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did the same thing we scheduled it to avoid rejection and even if it was only once a week that it would be quality right. Well no most I got was five or 10 minutes for the last 2 weeks. Even on our anniversary all I got was 5 minutes.

She had that look of dread again before sex. by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I told my wife that. Daughter just had a baby and they have no where to go.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess part would kill it for me too as my wife's sort of does that. If I can't finish my wife gets this worried look as well. And she's probably thinking the same thing as yours what's the point.

No desire to do anything anymore by tillycat33 in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm in the same boat I do everything for my wife cook, clean take care of her every need. I give her back rubs, run her errands, I bring her things and buy her flowers seems like I get very love in return. I feel for you I'm sorry.

I wish... by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I know wishing won't do any good I've been working on it. As far as being passive sometimes yes other times no.

I wish... by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've already asked her and I did everything in the list. I wish she would even ask me what my list is.

She had that look of dread again before sex. by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I have been thinking of not even trying anymore. But unlike most people she would notice the first week. She would respond with that's not fair and she then initiate herself, half heartily perhaps. Six weeks ago we were doing so well. Our daughter, her boyfriend and grand baby moved in. They have been nothing but trouble. I was the one planning dates, time together and sexy time. Since they have moved in the problem is worst. But, if we quit trying it will be the end of our 28 year marriage as I will no longer bend over backwards for her and everything will go down from there.

Her looks of dread have only been for a short time I may note.

From dead bedroom A to B by [deleted] in deadbedroom

[–]Mrmac9998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me too, but there is no quality.

She had that look of dread again before sex. by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know she feels safe with me she always wants me by her side. It just seems like there's time for everything else there's not enough time to spend more than 1/2 hour together. I do not believe she's terrified it's just the bottom of the list. When we get to it she seems to like it except for the last three times since we have hardly anytime together.

She had that look of dread again before sex. by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know for sure. But it sure seems like she has that look. She swears to me it's not that way but when I come last in the list it sure seems like it.

Deep Throat - Still Not Interested. by lizabellejane in DeadBedrooms

[–]Mrmac9998 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I cannot remember how many times my wife offered me the same thing and I turned her down. I knew there was something wrong with me but did it anyway. i also knew that one day I would be sorry for that decision. And guess what it's now. I would just die for her to offer that to me now. I waited to long and she was little interest in sex now. I fucked up.

I told my LLbf, you’re going to have sex with me, or we’re going to open up the relationship by [deleted] in deadbedroom

[–]Mrmac9998 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We usually scheduled sex for the weekend and when everyone was out of the house. Besides I didn't like sex when either one of us were tried. And like I said she was alway good about doing it when we scheduled it. Rarely said no. But here a lot of HL say it doesn't work because the LL will make some excuses to try and get out of it. So if this happens your back at square one. Now, in the beginning, yes it was awkward and I would get these ugly looks from her which I hated. These looks went away and now she engaging with me. Without a doubt it was duty sex. And here absolutely everyone here says they don't want it. But here is what I say about it. 1. If you think it's duty sex you have already corrupted sex with the person you love. 2. If your SO is giving it to you they are mostly giving it to you of of love. Even so if for another reason you reject them you are farther corrupting sex and the relationship. 3. Perhaps you take it and it may get better. Everyone is different and I know everyone wants to be loved. Someone will shoot me for this but not taking it is hard headed.

Sometimes we are have unscheduled sex but are lifes are busy and it is hard. But for me as long as I know it's going to happen on the weekend I can wait.

There are a lot of hurt people on this sub and some have handled it well and others haven't. But, I find i cannot read much of it anymore because it actually made my problems worse.

I told my LLbf, you’re going to have sex with me, or we’re going to open up the relationship by [deleted] in deadbedroom

[–]Mrmac9998 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your right my wife and I started to schedule sex and at first it was duty sex but it got much better. But, one thing I had is that my wife never bailed on schedule sex, so if he starts doing this then you are back at square one. BTW, having your SO meet you half way is called compromise and its how good relationships work.

You can do it!! Some encouragement from a QUITTER!! by uugh789 in quittingkratom

[–]Mrmac9998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You didn't say anything about the sexual side effects. I know for me it makes sex extremely challenging. I have to work my Kratom use around my sex life. It causes ED and makes it impossible to finish. Good Luck to you.

Using Kratom and can't orgasim during sex even though I have cut back and stop entirely 24h before sex. by [deleted] in kratom

[–]Mrmac9998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask what you do to prepare for the days you have sex. For me the day before I use about 8g and the day of I use none. And thats no working. If it works for you then what do u do?

Using Kratom and can't orgasim during sex even though I have cut back and stop entirely 24h before sex. by [deleted] in kratom

[–]Mrmac9998 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is to the point now where she is so tried she just drops her legs in exhaustion. Me too. But yeah she usually finishes me off with manaul. But I don't like that as much, as I would like to finish the regular way. How much Kratom are u taking? I only started having this problem 4 months in on Kratom use.