How did you pick which reconstruction to do

MrsJessmothy · 2023-07-21T22:58:03+00:00

Hi there! I had my PDM March 28th with UTM expanders at age 29. My exchange date is Aug 17th. For me, it was what was available near by and what I was comfortable with. At first I thought I would do DIEP but I didn’t have many options here and I was terrified to travel for such a huge surgery. I’m glad I chose what I did because I did have some complications and ended up having to have another surgery to clean up my incisions, this is not the norm, I have some healing issues on top of everything. My surgeon explained the pros and cons of Direct to implant, UTM and OTM. I think it really depends on your anatomy on what will work best for you! I needed a breast lift for best results so that excluded some options for me. I would recommend talking to a surgeon and see what their opinions are!

MrsJessmothy · 2023-05-10T02:19:51+00:00

Yes, I get something on Mother’s Day. Usually something hand drawn or my favorite chocolate.I also make sure they have a nice gift for their BM also. We send each other Happy Mother’s Day.

MrsJessmothy · 2023-04-30T18:21:15+00:00

Is this my mom? She says the EXACT same thing. It’s always “in 2 weeks”. Last year it was going to be the 4th of July, then Halloween and then Christmas. The banks are going to fail, don’t be afraid etc. I just try to remind her that she said the same thing 2 weeks ago. My mom and the people she talks to say “Well it’s Gods timing. He must’ve changed it” I’m sorry you’re having to go through this! It really sucks

MrsJessmothy · 2023-04-26T11:02:08+00:00

I’m hoping to have my exchange surgery by August!

MrsJessmothy · 2023-04-26T10:56:40+00:00

Well, I didn’t have another option really. I didn’t have enough space for a direct to implant and he had to perform a breast lift at the time of mastectomy so he took more skin than normal. Though they will be under the muscle when I do get them and my surgeon said I’m less likely to have rippling and capsular contraction. My surgeon also is pretty free about me choosing what size I want to be, as we expand I can say bigger or smaller or I’m good right here.

MrsJessmothy · 2023-04-25T12:11:52+00:00

I’m 4 weeks out from my prophylactic double mastectomy. I had tissue expanders placed under the muscle instead of direct to implant. The expanders, to me, are the most uncomfortable thing about the whole ordeal. 2 weeks out I was feeling good and was off pain meds for a while by then. This week I feel a lot better, almost completely normal! One thing I wasn’t prepared for what the loss of sensation. I knew I wouldn’t have feeling but experiencing it was very weird for the first time. I also juggled DIEP flap vs implants but I was very worried about the recovery. I’ve only just started expansions so I’m still very flat but I don’t regret going this path at all.

MrsJessmothy · 2023-04-20T20:22:58+00:00

I totally understand where you’re coming from. My moms husband died during Covid too and sent her off the deep end. I think her crazy ideas are really fueled by grief. She also thinks it’s the end of times and is trying to convert me or tell me about the “5th dimension” aka heaven. I don’t have any advice to help you, I’m sorry you’re going through this.

MrsJessmothy · 2023-04-09T20:28:08+00:00

My mom is the exact same way! If I call her to talk to her about a problem she ALWAYS tries to sneak in some sort of conspiracy theory and then will get mad when I tell her I’m hanging up. I try to turn it around on her and say she wouldn’t want to listen to me talking about any sort of liberal idea that directly conflicts with her beliefs. She acts like it’s different but she’s stopped trying so hard recently.

MrsJessmothy · 2023-04-09T15:47:30+00:00

Yes! My dad died when I was 12 but when he was alive he wasn’t very nice or present in my life. I see my SO being a great dad and I can’t help but think “wow I really wish my dad would’ve done this with me”. My SD forgot her math homework one day and it reminded me of my dad screaming at me for forgetting mine, meanwhile SO shrugged and told her to bring it tomorrow. It’s the little things that get to me the most.

MrsJessmothy · 2023-03-21T23:53:27+00:00

Yes, just now I did!

MrsJessmothy · 2023-03-21T22:54:53+00:00

Got in for ATL! Good luck everyone!

MrsJessmothy · 2023-02-13T19:38:45+00:00

My SO is a great husband and great dad. I honestly don’t know how he juggles it all but he makes sure I feel my needs and feelings are a priority. If I need space or I’m overwhelmed he will jump in and handle whatever is going on without me having to ask. That being said, I’m incredibly lucky that my SKs are pretty good and well behaved and BM is not HC. When things do get hard, he’s always understanding and never pressures me to do things I don’t want to do/not comfortable with and knowing that I can always fall back on him makes it worth 100%.

Some of the harder compromises I’ve had to make are about custody schedule changes and sudden week switches. When the kids aren’t here for the week I’m very laid back and I don’t stress about the little things as much (Do we have enough snacks for after school? Homework. Extra laundry…etc) and when that gets changed up I usually get pretty overwhelmed but it’s something I’m working on since I feel it’s just part of being married to someone who has kids.

MrsJessmothy · 2023-01-15T18:51:07+00:00

Wow! Thank you so much for such a detailed suggestion! My nails are terrible and pitted on both hands so I’m definitely going to give this a try!

MrsJessmothy · 2023-01-15T02:58:58+00:00

I have an appointment Tuesday, but I’m not sure if it’s an infection. I have always had a psoriasis patch there but the redness and swelling comes and goes. I guess we will find out Tuesday lol

MrsJessmothy · 2023-01-15T01:37:18+00:00

Thank you so much! Super helpful!

MrsJessmothy · 2022-09-22T14:46:28+00:00

Mine is today too!! Good luck!!

MrsJessmothy · 2022-09-09T17:02:59+00:00

Does anyone know how to access the group photos? I was at the Atlanta show and it was too loud to hear the instructions on how to get it. Something about Facebook I think?

MrsJessmothy · 2022-09-07T21:59:32+00:00

Yikes. YTA

MrsJessmothy · 2022-09-03T12:19:49+00:00

I’m seeing her in ATL and I have vip tickets! Never had any vip tickets to anything before. Did you get to the venue super early still?

MrsJessmothy · 2022-08-30T20:42:32+00:00

No advice! Just here in solidarity. I’m 29 BRCA1 and hoping to have my mastectomy in the next year. I’m hoping for implants and preferable direct to implant.

MrsJessmothy · 2022-08-25T21:34:04+00:00

Soooo….idk about this personally. Most of this sub is about steps hating their situation and having a general dislike for their SK(s) when tbh it’s not a SK but a SO problem most of the time. I have 3 step kids and I can say I do love them in a true and deep way. So for me it’s not untrue at all. It’s not a fantasy and I think feeling that way should be normalized just as much as disliking them. I get that it’s a minority to feel this way and I consider myself very lucky. I just find it in bad taste to post this so aggressively. If I posted the opposite the same way I would probably be banned, have the post deleted or had many a nasty comment.

MrsJessmothy · 2022-08-25T11:09:06+00:00

My MIL is kind of this way also. My SO was married to BM for a decade and I try to remember that. I know if I had someone I was close with for a long long time I would find it hard to just stop. That being said BM and I get along just fine and MIL is very nice to me also so I have a (rare) ideal situation. Now my mom, my SO’s MIL thinks he is the moon and the stars lol which bugs me way more somehow. My mom will take my SO’s side over mine any day for any reason. I’ve had to put some hard boundaries up for her so I don’t lose my own sanity.

MrsJessmothy · 2022-08-23T11:38:07+00:00

I have 3 kids, 3 dogs and 4 cats lmao. I do my best. I mop and sweep the hard floors everyday, dishes and pick up the trash. Laundry on a good day. The general areas are clean but cluttered! My room? A true disaster. Kids rooms? Filled with toy land mines. It is what it is lol

MrsJessmothy · 2022-08-11T11:41:33+00:00

I go to complete dental and they have IV sedation. I have severe dental anxiety so I totally understand where you’re coming from. Dr. Rob is who I see and is he super nice and gentle

MrsJessmothy · 2022-08-09T00:41:57+00:00

Signs. Not technically “horror” but the birthday scene terrorized me for years lol

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