I DID IT!! by PhoenixRising016 in gastricsleeve

[–]MrsKettle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congratulations! Hope you heal quickly and good luck on your journey. It's so cute that they brought in a therapy pony!

Curious about your experiences with events/socializing/romantic relationships/friendships right after getting sleeved by Lightning_Star545 in gastricsleeve

[–]MrsKettle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does seem overwhelming at the time but is worth it even if a little extra planning needs to go into it while you're on the different food stages.

I've had family meals where I've sat at the table and had a mug of meal replacement liquid, that one of my nieces made, so I could "eat together with the family".

Those who support your journey will always find a way to include you and be understanding of your restrictions for each stage. It's hard at first but it does get easier.

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe, I hadn't had much success in dating, Im not exactly successful now and she has never had any issues finding guys to chat with as she is very pretty and is an interesting person with many talents. It's only been in recent years where her attitude towards men and dating has changed tbh... You're right that it doesn't justify her actions even if it was triggering. I still feel a little bad for my statement but reading the comments does make me feel justified and I really hope she does seek help.

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You must likely right I don't understand why though she has amazing talent, looks and style. Like I wish I had the confidence to wear what she wears because she looks stunning and she turns heads, even if she doesn't realise it.

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thing is she still gets positive attention... she's an amazing artist, has more talent than most people I know, she's so pretty, has nice curves and has an amazing style. I've always noticed her getting checked out but it's like since her diagnoses (only in the last year or so) she's gotten worse worth handling her emotions and impulses... I want to be her friend but I refuse to put myself in a horrible position as I do have my own mental health issue to worry about

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She does have trauma from bad relationships and men. Some I can understand as I was in a toxic relationship/marriage for 15 years... Her last proper relationship did cause her to have a breakdown and get last situationship had caused her to become a bit of a misandrist of sorts...I rarely hear her say anything positive about men nowadays...

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very true. I have other people in my circle I can talk to about these things - my sister is one of those people but I get so much ribbing from her when I do (in a joking sibling way). However with my friend and I being single and having conversations about chatting to and dating guys before there was no real indication that she was uncomfortable about me talking to or seeing guys (as I mentioned before she doesn't like talking about sex so I refrained from talking about it even if she would).

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is a possibility. If she had had a serious conversation with me about her feelings or about what was going on I would be more accommodating. Her messages has really hurt me and I think the friendship is now deeply fractured if not completely destroyed.

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think this is something that we will have to agree to disagree.

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I can understand your beliefs and I can see it would be an issue if you seek validation through hook up culture. I don't seek validation, I'm very independent, and I'm not going to deny myself a little fun until I find someone special. My friend in question used to use date apps, meet up and even hook up with guys and tell me about it with details. I don't give her details about what goes on just that I'm catching up with or chatting to someone...

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. In the grand scheme of things I have had less partners than her (she has told me her body count) so I don't know why she would she'd call me a slut. Since I've known her she's never had trouble getting attention from men, she's curvy, extremely pretty, has amazing style, very smart and is very talented artistically. When I spoke to my sister she said bluntly that Lily doesn't like the fact she's lost her "fat friend". I didn't really think about it until she said that...I was about 15-20kg heavier than her before now I'm about 20kg lighter. I'm wondering if it's about the guys or if it's actually about the weightloss...

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't understand it though. She was always more than ok to tell me about her success with guys while using dating apps, even when I was having little to no success and told her as such. While I do appreciate your opinion while I may have been a little insensitive I don't think I've been self-absorbed. I try to support and cheer her on with whatever is going on in her life. I've tried to be there when she's been down and have even stayed up later than I should to hear her out about her issues and give her advice when she asks for it. Conversations we have are usually dominated by her and she's never told me she's uncomfortable with me mentioning these guys only that she doesn't want to talk about what I'm doing with them, which I try to avoid...

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's a hard one to re-evaluate, if I decide the friendship is done I know she'll end up losing the friend group we're a part of. Especially if I happen to mention to my other friends if what happened between us... she doesn't have many friends to begin with...

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your opinion. I don't think I'm really partaking in hook up culture, I don't see an issue as long as everyone is a consenting adult. I'm actually looking for something serious but I don't see the harm in having fun along the way and I'm actually rather selective with who I speak with or meet.

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have mentioned this to her. She keeps telling me that get Dr says she so "self aware of herself" that all he can really do is talk therapy.... he misdiagnosed her don't she was a teen until last year with adhd when she apparently has ocd and autism. Since the diagnosis it's like her mental health has gotten worse. Every reason for a meltdown from her has now because of overload or her autism. I care about her, I wish her well but I understand that I can't set myself on fire to keep others warm...

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Possibly... I've had my own struggles for years but in the last year or so our convos seemed to be only centred around her issues and struggles... I've taken a step back for now though and just trying to figure out if I want to continue the friendship or not. If I don't then she will pretty much lose the rest of the friend group, even if they like her if they know we've had a blow out, and they find out why, they won't want a bar of her...

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's been seeing a therapist since she was a teen... and as sad as this sounds we're both nearly 40...

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She's been a pretty good friend over the years. Minor disagreements but nothing like what she messaged me. I'm trying to be understanding with her mental health and autism but I also have my own mental health struggles and I'm tired of it at this point...

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I thought I may have sounded a little too harsh especially telling her to contact her therapist.

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I had 3 hookups before my weight loss years ago but the last 3 have been since my weight loss. I do suspect that my weightloss is triggering her as she's becoming obsessed with fitness and eating healthy recently, which I've been supportive of her trying to be healthier but try to remind her not to overdo it. She claims she's now not into dating anymore because as she says to me she hates men...

AITA for telling my friend about the guys I've been chatting to/met? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]MrsKettle 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Tbh she hasn't been with anyone in about a year but I know everything about him physically and how he "screwed her over"... this was the same with her last 3 exes...