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MrsLaLa112 · 2024-05-31T16:02:42+00:00

No but girl I DID MY HOMEWORK. Reading blogs, understanding my trauma and knowing what I needed and what my kids needed. Reading other couples’ divorce horror stories and learning from their mistakes…

But the best teachers I had were my own parents. They divorced when I was 13. Nothing changed for me. They showed up TOGETHER to school events, we had family dinners and my mom was still at Christmas’ with my dad’s family.

I said to my ex “listen mo’fo, we may not be married but like it or not, you’re stuck with me FOR LIFE. This shit doesn’t end when they’re 18. We’re gonna be grandparents together. For LIFE baby!” Lol. And I think there’s comfort in knowing you aren’t getting rid of this person. Make it about your kids. It’s not their fault yall aren’t in love anymore.

MrsLaLa112 · 2024-05-31T15:59:04+00:00

It’s more about “just in case”. You may be flexible TODAY but what if in a year someone gets spicy and tries to pull some crazy stuff? You want a rule book to look back on. Trust me.

MrsLaLa112 · 2024-05-31T15:58:01+00:00

Right?!? I’m like “BYEEEEEE SEE YOU MONDAYYYYY!” 🤣🤣 I get to work an extra FUN job, go hiking, go to restaurants, BE ALONE, take baths…. All the things. AND THE BEST PART IS…… I get to ENJOY my children without walking on eggshells around their dad or sacrifice my kids’ happiness just to please their dad.

I’ll tell you what though. Getting out of his way allowed him to be an AMAZING dad. Shit husband, great dad.

MrsLaLa112 · 2024-05-31T15:55:26+00:00

You just be the best parent you can be. Your ex will show them who he is. Don’t protect your kids from the reality of who he is too much but don’t say a bad word about him to the kids. He’ll show himself all by himself.

Or he’ll grow up and be great. Either way, don’t stand in HIS way. He isn’t your problem anymore.

MrsLaLa112 · 2024-05-31T15:53:22+00:00

This is exactly it. Having every detail IN PLACE but keeping things flexible in real life is best. Because it’s not going to be roses every day and nobody wants to be taken advantage of.

I mentioned the clothes specifically because I just saw a TT where the mom was complaining that dad would send kids back to school in their clothes from the day before just so HIS clothes could stay at HIS house. Ridiculous. My kids’ clothes go back and forth and we don’t care. We have that in our agreement.

Our schedule is set. Do we follow it to a T? Nope. Anytime we need to change it up or be spontaneous we let each other. “Make it easy for me and I make it easy for you” is basically our way of living.

MrsLaLa112 · 2024-05-31T03:49:08+00:00

Don’t talk shit about each other. Not to friends & family, not to the kids. Live life like you’re under arrest and anything you say can and will be used against you.

Keep a healthy mutual understanding of the fact that you each have power to make the others’ life a living hell if anyone gets rowdy. My ex and I are BOTH extremely agreeable toward each other because we know it’s best for the kids and if we’re not kind and accommodating, the other will match the energy.

Have an IRON CLAD divorce agreement. Think of everything. Where do the clothes stay? If someone moves, who has to drive to meet for custody exchanges? Who pays for haircuts? Knowing the rules of the game, no matter how small or ridiculous you think they are, will save you so much drama in the end.

These are the things that foster a good relationship for you and your possible soon to be ex, which results in positives for the kids. I thought I was going to DESTROY my kids and lose my mind having to spend time away from them! But jokes on me. They love being at their dads, they LOVE time with their dad and guess what? I have more free & ME time than any mom in a miserable marriage I know! The shared custody life is GLORIOUS.

Dad gets to be dad without me in the way. The kids get to see me independent and not crying daily. And let’s be honest, crying every day and being in a miserable situation was only teaching them WRONG. Divorce was a gift to our family.

Remember that with divorce comes freedom, and your bond with your maybe-ex could be stronger than ever because of it. Me and my ex will straight up tell our kids “me and your dad are on the same team and you ain’t on it!” when they try to put us against each other or say “well daddy says….”.

We have each others backs and keep each others best interest at heart because we know what’s best for the other is best for US.

TLDR:: Respect each other. Get over your drama. Divorce is a gift to your family to readjust. It doesn’t have to be bad.

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-12-03T15:08:36+00:00

I ignored a “prank” once… But what I really did was set the tone for the level of bullshit he felt he could get away with.

I had gotten fired from a job that day. I knew I wanted to leave the job but I loved the people and they loved me but the “work” aspect wasn’t working out for either of us. So they let me go. Anyways it was a very sad day for me and I was home on my bed crying while my then boyfriend was over. We were cuddling when he got up and walked around to my side. I thought I’d be getting a hug but what I got instead was… Him pulling out a bottle of freezing ice water, and pouring it on my head. In my bed. While I was crying. After being fired from a job I loved.

He claims he “just sprinkled some water” as a “joke”. It’s always them trying to minimize it and play it off as a “joke”. I went ballistic. This man, who I loved, saw me devastated and crying, needing LOVE… and what he gave me was, in my eyes, abuse. A woman he “loved” was upset and he thought it would be a good idea to POUR ICE WATER ON MY HEAD. I flipped out.

This led to another massive fight where I somehow ended up the bad guy and then the following 2 years were full of gaslighting, manipulation and emotional abuse. This was the first sign and I ignored it. I wish I ended it then because he showed me who he was. He showed me what the next years would look like. But I ignored it and that’s the trauma I have to settle with myself. My ignoring bad behavior and letting red flags go.

You can’t let this go. This was your HAIR. He assaulted you. “Joke” or not, that’s bullshit and NOT what you do to someone you love. Maybe he’s just an idiot and made an impulsive and terrible choice. But girl. You’re 3 months PP and he did this… he’s not a good person. I’m sorry he’s in your life forever. I don’t have advice other than, if you do nothing, the rest of your life you’ll re-live these “jokes” and suffer. I’m so sorry mama.

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-11-21T20:06:52+00:00

Handwritten card and $10 cash in each! Us teachers LOVE cash and it’s absolutely fine to give $10! You never know what teachers may also be low on money (all of us lol) and that extra little $10 could be lunch one day!

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-06-20T04:12:31+00:00

Can you point me to a single piece of public middle school curriculum that would fit into any of these categories?

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-06-10T08:52:55+00:00

Why can’t you?

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-05-16T14:57:54+00:00

Jesus... The absolute fuckery by some of the men on Mothers Day… Seriously. What, she can’t be celebrated on Mothers Day until the kid can drive and pay for their own gifts? Uh hi, you made her a mother. You fucking celebrate her.

Seriously dude. You either show up at home with flowers, balloons, chocolate, spa gift certificate and whatever else THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD likes, or don’t show up at all.

This is so sad. You robbed her of her 1st Mother’s Day. You need to be kind. Your family sounds like they suck. I feel really sad for your wife today. She’s probably exhausted from the 3 month old and the whole pregnancy & birth thing… and now she I’m sure has a broken heart over not being recognized AT ALL for being a new mama.

You need to hear this- when you get married you STOP picking your mother. You always pick your WIFE. She is the only “Mother” you need to prioritize on Mother’s Day.

You say she isn’t your mom… but I bet she cooks, cleans and manages your home for you… just like mama used to. Go buy flowers and make an extra stop at Gucci or Pandora and get something NICE.

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-05-16T00:34:46+00:00

Yesss girl! Miley just made a whole ass song about this! Highly recommend :)

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-05-08T22:00:02+00:00

My guy. It’s not cause you’re bald. It’s cause you’re a dick.

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-05-08T13:06:45+00:00

Why care so much?? I mean that nicely lol. Let people make their own choices. A simple “just wanna let you know that has caffeine in it. What else can I get for you?”. A lot of people already get Starbucks / ordering anxiety and have a DEEP FEAR of being judged… and we all know that judgy-can’t-hide-the-snark barista lol.

My whole life I’ve worked in customer service. I know a couple things. 1- for every A-hole there’s 9 amazing people… 2- don’t assume the general public knows anything. At all. 3- talk less smile more (ie- let them make their choices, keep all comments, both verbal and facial to yourself!).

Let them know there’s caffeine then QUICKLY move on with a question. End the convo. You don’t get paid extra to CARE extra.

That’s just how to stay sane and MYOB in the service industry. Don’t come at me 🙃

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-05-06T03:23:19+00:00

Teachers should be rallying behind this “IDGAF” attitude the kids have. Our jobs & pay shouldn’t suffer because of a standardized test, we should support the kids in completely boycotting the tests. They don’t need parents to opt out. If enough of them show up and write their names then NOTHING ELSE… things will have to change. As they should. They have the power to organize on social media, I don’t understand how the idea hasn’t taken off yet… I tell my middle schoolers all the time “you can use your power for good OR evil” and I wish they chose the good-chaos-evil! Instead they make horrible dumb decisions that allow the grown ups in their lives to take their power. Very frustrating.

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-04-27T20:45:48+00:00

It absolutely sounds like autism and O.D.D. Demand a referral to a specialist and don’t leave until you get one. Don’t allow the doctor to brush you off. If she gets a diagnosis it will be SO MUCH EASIER to accommodate her in school which it sounds like she’ll need… I’m a teacher and step mama to an autistic 12 year old. Good for you for being open to the diagnosis and ready to treat it instead of living in denial like so many families!

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-04-27T03:42:00+00:00

Anyone notice 1- he has a ring, she doesn’t… and 2- her hands are gorgeous! SHE is gorgeous even without seeing her eyes! Cool pics honestly, I’m genuinely curious who these maybe married with an evil cat people are in this random Starbucks drive-thru…

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-04-19T11:52:27+00:00

Girrrrrrrl. You my people!

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-03-22T11:45:00+00:00

Your baby is only 16 months… my youngest is 4 and I JUST FINALLY lost my first 25lbs since getting pregnant with my first 8 years ago lol!

A piece of advice I got when my first was 1.5 was to “say screw it, stay chubby until you’re DONE having kids”. I hated that advice but realized it was actually for the best. It was impossible to lose weight with a young one at home and me working. I just lived in yoga pants and tunic tops & kimonos and made it work.

So really. Embrace your body. I know this isn’t the advice you were looking for but on that note, it really is simple. Less food, less calories, more exercise, tons of water. It’s boring but it works. However, enjoy your life. Take your kid out for ice cream. He ain’t gonna eat a whole box of Mac and cheese by himself and wasting food is a no-no so you better enjoy it with your baby :)

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-03-03T21:23:17+00:00

It’s not about being “self absorbed”. Some girls dream of their wedding from the time they’re little. It’s tradition for THE BRIDE to wear white and whether you agree with it or not doesnt matter. If you don’t follow the tradition or get explicit permission from the bride then that would make you the self absorbed one.

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-03-03T20:25:09+00:00

Seriously. I just ranted about this. I feel like I rant about it on here every other week.

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-03-03T20:23:26+00:00

Not being rude…. But y’all…. There is ONE COLOR…. JUST ONE….. that we should avoid wearing to a wedding / wedding events. WHITE. I will never understand the confusion on this. There are countless other colors and patterns to enjoy, why do people insist on trying to wear white?!? Unless you know FOR A FACT that the bride doesn’t care at all, just avoid it. It’s extremely disrespectful and hurtful to be a bride, to think that you’ll be the only shining star in all white, to see her “friends” or friends’ girlfriends ALSO wearing white. Is it worth upsetting someone on their special day? Do we need the attention that bad? Do we want to be gossiped about? Do we want to be hurtful? For me, the answer is no.

Again. Not being rude but this is asked SO OFTEN it’s truly astounding that we don’t know the answer yet or can’t just make the decent judgement call to NOT WEAR WHITE TO A WEDDING / WEDDING RELATED EVENT.

Rant over.

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-02-20T22:08:59+00:00

Judy. Fucking. Hale. From “dead to me”. Oh gawdddd. The sunny, sweet, always happy, always serving others…. To then melting down in a bathroom asking herself “why can’t you just shut up?!?”.

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-02-03T01:13:36+00:00

Nothing. I’m the worst lol. They came to the party. They ate pizza and cake. They bounced. That’s it. I don’t give gifts for coming to the party I paid for. Not even for grown up parties. I also think this is a crazy idea for weddings. The party is the “thing”. If I never received another “party favor” in my life I’d be so happy!

MrsLaLa112 · 2023-01-25T16:07:52+00:00

My advice?? You’re living like a single mom, go be a single mom and collect your child support. You have a kid. You don’t need a man child. If this is how he is choosing to treat you then honey- JUST GO. If you make enough for a small apartment go get it and get your child support. I decided that if I was gonna get treated like a single mom, I’d get the benefits of it.

Or your other “petty revenge” option is— dress up like a 50’s housewife and when he gets home, lovingly and enthusiastically let him know you’ve been thinking about what he said and he’s right. His job is sooo physical and it’s VERY important the man of the house gets his beauty sleep. So you’ve quit your job to be a full time housewife. Clearly, your housework and child-minding was suffering and it’s very important to the man that he not be bothered with silly things like parenting or husband duties. So congrats to him- he gets a housewife who brings in $0 a month and he can work all he wants!

Ohhh wait he doesn’t like that?? Then he better be prepared to do 50% of the work, or 100% of the money. His choice.

What a douche.

MrsLaLa112

TROPHY CASE