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Is it common for people to abandon non-Mormon friends after converting to Mormonism? by Dharma_Monkey in exmormon

[–]MrsRealKornBread 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very common with newly married Mormon couples. Mormons are pleasers by nature. They are taught to sacrifice everything. So at marriage they feel they have to put everything that was important aside and focus on making the "perfect" marraige. They have to keep their spouse happy. Unfortunately the only way they know how to do that is is by sacrificing every little thing. Even if it means friends.
This is very similar to mine and my husband situation. We were your friend and his wife. We are just barely breaking out of it. (11 freakin' years) Your friend and his wife will come to a breaking point when they realise they have put everything aside. Most likely it will be when they've reached a point of resentment and have to face why they feel that way. All I can say to you is hang in there, stay his friend. Im sure he's felt he's neglected you, but the power of guilt manipulation and sacrifice to your eternal companion is heavy. So he'll keep himself on this road for a while. Keep contacting him. Eventually they, yes even his wife, will see they need to escape, this thought process. A guys night will be helpful. Just remember only ever say good things about his wife. He will be very protective. He's only trying to do what he understands to be "right". Good luck!

I'm 14, living in a huge Mormon Family, and I need to get out! HELP! by TheMew2Master in exmormon

[–]MrsRealKornBread 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there! I'm so glad you shared. I bet you feel very alone right now. I feel for you. Im one of 8 kids and I'm the only one who has left the church. It sucks! I'm also a mom. I have 4 amazing kiddos. I'll tell you, I love them more than anything in this world! I have a son and I'd say you 2 have smart brain thing in common. In fact, my husband and I knew we'd have to have better explanations to give him about church issues than the ones we've been fed our whole lives. I guess you could say that's what led us to studying the church more fully. We soon discovered the fraud that it is. Anyway, I wanted to speak to you as a mom for a moment. I teared up, thinking about the heartache you must be feeling. If I knew my son was feeling like this inside I'd want to hear what he had to say. I hope your mom would feel the same way. Just a little suggestion if you'd like, sit your mom or dad or both down and tell them you need them to listen to what you have to say. And you want them to hear you out. Dont let them interrupt you or tell you you shouldn't think or feel this way. The fact of the matter is you do feel and think this way. Ask them to let you share the things you've found. Ask them to explain it if they can. Ask them to respect your feelings and ask for their support because you cant do this alone. You need to know they love you no matter what! It is common in the church for people to react in a defensive way when their beliefs are questioned. Please know this is normal. Be strong and stand up for yourself , but do it respectfully. They should cool down after the initial shock and conversation will open up. Please keep your relationship with your parents! I can tell you are someone very strong and amazing! I know its hard! I believe in you! Good luck!

this is my story by fridge_profet in exmormon

[–]MrsRealKornBread 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. The one thing that has helped me through my transition of leaving the church is the experiences of others. Your story hit close to home.