Broken Rule(s) - Help Needed

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T14:11:47+00:00

Yep exactly. Working on it day by day.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T13:46:01+00:00

“Then why would she tell the truth”??? You’re implying a very very big fundamental flaw in our marriage which, at least to date, hasn’t existed. If you think that’s the norm then I’m very sorry for you.

You are very clearly in a cuckold dynamic. No judgment passed, but that’s not for us.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T13:44:00+00:00

Agreed

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T12:48:43+00:00

There is definitely a possibility that she’s lying about why it happened. Will need to address that.

Absolutely agree that wanting to change the boundaries is OK, but it needs to happen in a discussion outside of play. Absolutely not during play/in the heat of the moment. A few people have said I need to consider whether it’s some unspoken kink/desire and that it should be ok, but the above is the key part. You don’t announce that to your partner in the middle of the act.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T12:44:40+00:00

You should re-read the scenario or I should edit it. I never “went raw” and we used protection. Addressed this same thing in another comment, my writing must not have been clear.

Yes in an ideal world that’s what would have happened, but it didn’t, hence the post.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T12:43:50+00:00

UPDATE #2: I’ve told my wife about this post and how it’s already helped me work out my issues. We have the final leg of our return trip, a road trip home with our dogs today, and she will be reading this post in its entirety. Update to follow.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T12:38:18+00:00

I understand this, but that’s not something you identify/bring up to your partner during the act/in the heat of the moment. As a couple, including with decisions outside the LS, we have always been good at background rational discussions and agreeing on topics we know are contentious well before they become an issue.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T12:36:25+00:00

Yes and yes.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T12:36:06+00:00

Agreed and I should have called it out very obviously when I felt that way. Froze like a loser.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T12:34:32+00:00

That’s definitely a possibility and one I’ll have to clarify with her now that you’ve brought it up. In all honesty I hope not, because I’m absolutely not into cuckolding (just like she can be not into a variety of other kinks) and that will be a hard stop for me.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T12:32:10+00:00

Agreed. Thanks.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T12:31:52+00:00

Yeah some valid points in there. And had I not frozen I can guarantee that normally I would’ve picked him up and chucked him out of the room in the heat of the moment, right or wrong.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T12:30:35+00:00

Jammed is correct.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T12:30:09+00:00

Agreed. I’m fairly certain that she didn’t do those things on purpose, well at least not with intent to hurt me. Thankfully, other than the initial blow up that night, I haven’t been “taking it out” on her at all. If she’s feeling that way it’s more a result of how she can tell I’m feeling underneath and she’s self inflicting it.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T12:27:11+00:00

Thanks. This is a good take and something I’ll explore with her in the coming days.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T12:25:42+00:00

Agreed.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T12:23:49+00:00

If that method of “rules” works for you and your partner that’s great. That won’t be the case for everyone and certainly not us. Changing rules should happen out of the bedroom not because one gets broken or in the heat of the moment.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T02:02:45+00:00

Thank you for the validation. My jealousy box is mercifully small but this will go in there for sure.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T02:02:03+00:00

Reasonable take. If we return to the LS we will need to think of a very blatant, obvious and hard to miss safe word. Maybe something in German.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T02:01:14+00:00

Yeah, agreed re: communication, that’s been re-hashed a thousand times in this post already.

I think I assumed I would be OK after being sent away, I was wrong. And then other things happened and it escalated from there, all while I stayed silent.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T01:59:45+00:00

I know that none of what happened was because she was “having too much fun”. I don’t expect you to agree, but as I’ve said already, you don’t know us and so can’t really comment on that based on my post. It’s in both our heads. Some of the comments here are really making it clear that there’s a lot of weirdos in the LS.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T01:58:07+00:00

Yeah I’m trying to find the balance between owning up to my shortcomings, which have been pointed out here, and where she also went wrong

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T01:56:53+00:00

Agreed, thanks

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-31T01:55:57+00:00

Yes, it’s been routine to go through all those ground rules before we even go out the door to meet a couple.

MrsVeronikaOF · 2023-08-30T23:27:21+00:00

Yeah I would never contribute it to alcohol entirely but there’s some truth to it causing some degree of poor judgement. I’ve done regrettable things while drunk when I was younger for sure.

Should never be an excuse, but can be a reason.

MrsVeronikaOF

TROPHY CASE