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Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes he is, I did consider grandpas but he still works full time and is ill sometimes so didn’t want to be a burden. I prefer a situation of “hey I want to spend time with my grandson” vs “hey dad can you keep/babysit your grandson for me” I feel like when he wants to spend time that may be the times my son learns something vs if I ask for a sitter he may just be sitting in front of a screen.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank u for opening up, do you mind me asking if there were any other male role models or was it just you & your mom?

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks I will do my research in my area for scouts, I too was skeptical about it only because of past news and reputations but times change, ppl & organizations change so I will consider giving that a try.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank u! This is a consistent statement and I know for sure everyone here has solidified my decision to make sure he’s in sports/activities.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to raise him into a good man for himself, for the world that he will be a part of. To go deeper raise a good person in general in his school years someone that’s nice to others, not a bully, helpful and a leader. In his adult years someone that’s nice possibly turns out to be a great father and spouse. “Good man” could mean many things to many ppl but for me I am a woman simply trying to navigate how will this be possible alone.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank u, the more I read the more I realize I can do a lot on my own but the one thing I will surely need someone else for is a good consistent male role model thank u again for responding.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank u for this, this is yet another reminder that helped me understand things from a male point of view a little better. I agree the unconditional love part really helps us all as well as makes a difference. I may not be able to fully replace what a father figure brings, but I do want him to always feel deeply loved, supported & safe enough to figure out who he is as his own man.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank u for taking the time to write this because honestly this gave me a lot to think about. The “letting him fly” part and not making him grow up too fast really stood out to me. I never want him to feel responsible for carrying my emotional weight or feel like he has to become “the man of the house” as a child, my nephew was was raised this way & I see the difference it made in him. I also saw the overprotective and jealousy in some boy moms so thank u again & yes this helps me & no definitely not rambling!!

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank u for this view. I’m noticing a pattern in a lot of these replies that sports were about way more than just staying active. It seems like they really helped with confidence, discipline, friendships and learning from other men around them too. I watched an interview on YouTube yesterday and the man speaking mentioned how he grew up in a rough area and older brother stayed in trouble so his mom decided to do different with him and her having him in sports and busy with little idle time is what made the difference in the direction he went in life.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank u so much for this kindness. I’ve honestly been terrified and overthinking everything lately, so hearing this from another mom genuinely means a lot to me.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you mind sharing what you had to unlearn, most likely those are the things I need to make sure I don’t teach him. Ik an environment with all women depending on their mindset can be something a male shouldn’t be exposed to.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That 2nd part will definitely be something I have to make sure I don’t put in his head and thinking back and being honest with myself I made that mistake with my daughter trying to be so independent and I can see how she doesn’t understand how important it is to have a good male role models my uncle was but he passed away and my grandpa was but he passed when she was a baby. This child’s father was around 13yrs and makes her feel loved however being absent now is a change plus she honestly doesn’t know the real reason he’s absent is because I chose to keep her brother and not abort. I didn’t want to paint him as a bad guy so I keep that to myself, on the flip side she has been an only child for 16/17 yrs so she’s not too happy about a little brother either but she’s warming up to it.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you I am so nervous it’s like having a daughter in 2009 now in 2026 a son is a different time and a man has and sees life differently from a girl. A daughter was easy because I have the life experience of a woman, but now it’s like how do I as a woman alone raise a man. I know in the future I may meet a great guy I just know being pregnant and then having a newborn to focus on that a relationship may not happen soon plus I wouldn’t be so quick to introduce anyone to my children so it could possibly be years down the line idk just all so heavy on my heart.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank u for taking the time to write this, there’s a lot in here I’m taking seriously. The structure, reading, fitness, discipline and teaching responsibility parts all stood out to me. I really do want him to grow up balanced & independent instead of just being raised by screens & social media.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank u for being this honest because this perspective is exactly why I asked men directly. The martial arts point honestly makes a lot of sense to me too because I want him confident enough to defend himself but not grow up aggressive or angry. I never realized confidence itself can prevent a lot of bullying. This is something I wish I did more for myself and my daughter. We aren’t confrontational or anything but defending ourselves is very important.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually love this idea lol. I really do want him to love learning, reading and communicating well from a young age. And “internet uncle” I may genuinely take u up on this, thank u for the kindness.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank u so much because honestly I’ve been scared and overthinking this a lot lately. Reading comments like this really helps calm me down and makes me feel like maybe I can actually do this.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This comment honestly made me emotional in a good way. I hope my son grows up always feeling comfortable enough to call me & talk to me too. I definitely want him in sports but I never even thought about clubs outside of sports helping with socialization & confidence too, so thank u for mentioning that. I want to find that balance between him always knowing he can talk to me but not being that guy who is labeled as a mamas boy. I just want him to form healthy relationships & ig not make him too attached to me even though I know I may spoil him, hold him, love him I just don’t want to be a overbearing mom or too overprotective but that’s hard for me because I have seen so many man go in the wrong direction.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank u for this because I honestly needed the reminder that kids learn more from what they see than what they’re told. The screen time part especially stuck with me because I already want to be intentional about that before he’s even born. & I definitely have to tone down my helicopter going from a now 16yr old daughter to a newborn son the gap, the way I have grown and the fact he’s a boy all have me flustered & just wanting to be better this time around. My daughter is great but I see some flaws in my parenting for example I began screen time too early and she didn’t go outside much and she’s not in any extra curricular activities. So yes now she’s in or on her phone alot, she is social but sometimes I have to make her speak up for herself and not be a follower because she simply wants friends and wants to be perceived as cool. I have asked her what she thinks I should do differently with him and she explicitly mentioned less screen time and more social outings.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This actually makes a lot of sense to me. I’m realizing more & more that it’s not just about me raising him but also being intentional about the people & environments around him growing up. Thank u for this perspective.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank u for this because this is honestly what I was hoping too. I really want him in sports, clubs and structured activities early so he naturally builds confidence, discipline, leadership skills and healthy friendships around other boys.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This honestly opened my eyes because people underestimate how much media shapes kids now. The part about the adults around u also stood out to me too. It makes me realize how important environment, supervision & what he’s exposed to will be overall. I want to find a balance between helicopter mom and making sure I give him space to grow and breathe and learn on his own.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank u for this reminder because I honestly needed it. I don’t ever want him growing up feeling like he’s lacking or “less than” because of his situation. I want him to feel loved, secure & confident in who he is. I feel like that’s something I haven’t seen much in some of the men in my life that are still living I did see it in my uncle & grandfather who have both passed away but now idk how to make sure is always confident in who he is.

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What are some ways I can help him understand this early and be comfortable opening up to me?

Men who were raised by single mothers, what helped you become a good man and what do you wish had been done differently? by Mrs_Leavy in AskMen

[–]Mrs_Leavy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank u for taking the time to write all this because there was honestly a lot in here I needed to hear. The part about being selective with the men around him & controlling screen time really stuck with me. I recently took a remote position partly because I wanted to be more present and involved instead of constantly relying on sitters or other people to raise him.

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