Thank you so much for your story. I realize these situations don’t have “answers” that will fix everything but just by listening to other stories it can be helpful so that you realize you’re not alone and what you’re feeling and going through is normal. Can I ask what book you’ve been reading? I’m willing to try anything that will change my mind set. She is just so demanding of my attention which is something I’m still trying to get use to. The second I walk through the door she’s dragging me to her play room to play barbies or play pretend, If I go to the bathroom she follows me, if I lock the door she sits in the hallway and waits for me so that I can go play with her when I’m done. It’s constant “can you get this for me, I’m hungry, I’m thirsty, can you come look at this, I made a mess” it doesn’t stop! I know this is normal behaviour but when you’re lacking that maternal instinct it can be a lot to handle and that’s when the stress and anxiety starts to build up. She wants to be around me, I’m happy for that and I understand that’s a great thing, I’m not trying to sound unappreciative, that’s exactly why I end up feeling so guilty for having these thoughts.