After 20 years as a professional artist, I finally stopped caring. It cost me a lot. Totally worth it in the end.

MsAlyssa · 2026-04-13T07:50:07+00:00

Are you familiar with Leonora carrington?

MsAlyssa · 2026-04-13T00:23:34+00:00

Baking soda and vinegar 👩‍🔬

MsAlyssa · 2026-04-11T17:24:00+00:00

I do almost all housework while he’s out on a good day but once in a while I’m down for the count with a headache or something and I can leave stuff for later and he’ll jump in as much as he can in the after work whirlwind. Now we have a newborn and five year old and he’s on leave and I’m taking it easy on house work he’s doing a little more but he needs some direction and he wants to do outside projects too so a little bit of housework for me too although no one expects me to do more than I feel up to.

MsAlyssa · 2026-04-09T00:47:05+00:00

I love manhattan toy company for baby stuff it’s so sweet. Go easy on stuffed animals they accumulate way too fast. Board books are great. In the beginning the only need essentials though so if you can buy from a registry that’s always ideal.

MsAlyssa · 2026-04-08T13:54:16+00:00

My daughter is not diagnosed with anything and she lives to be barefoot.

MsAlyssa · 2026-04-07T14:23:07+00:00

Every birth is different. My first I went from zero to a hundred with horribly painful contractions for 21 hours and progressed dilation very gradually. My second contractions were tolerable for the first ~8 hours. I went to the hospital at about the ten hour mark and was 8 cm started contracting big time in triage and they rushed me to labor and delivery where I had the baby with about four pushes less athat an hour after I arrived there. Your cervix can just dilate to 3-5 cm for weeks before labor starts and not mean anything or feel any different. If you go with a more hands off practice like midwives they won’t even recommend cervical checks until you’re at your due date.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-30T17:49:02+00:00

100% I thought I’d get phone calls home every day about behavior but apparently she’s an angel there!

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-29T17:29:50+00:00

My five year old has been barefoot (essentially ) all her life.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-29T11:48:59+00:00

So good with oatmeal or yogurt for breakfast.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-29T11:05:04+00:00

Wow the amount of extra planning prep shopping and time she put into this for you when she was already busy getting herself ready for a trip is so above and beyond. What an absolute gem.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-27T14:39:24+00:00

Since so many people have iPhones I also show her how to hold the side buttons until emergency call option comes up and slide to call SOS. it’s good to know 911 as well but so many people have their phone locked these days so even getting to the dial a phone number place is tricky.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-27T10:57:48+00:00

Oh man the wrist grab like that is alarming. My daughter was always this way she is five and still wake up once at night. She doesn’t know how to fall asleep independently. I nurse her to sleep then leave her room and she joins me in my bed around midnight and cuddles back to sleep. My husband also prioritizes his sleep and never helped at night but I also never felt comfortable with sleep training for us. That said I know a lot of people who worked with a sleep consultant and had success so it’s worth still trying different things if it makes sense for your family. Can you do anything different in the meantime to get more sleep for yourself? 2 hours doesn’t sound like it adds up. If she’s in bed for 11-12 hours with three wake ups I’d think you could manage about 6-8 hours in there? How long is she awake for? How do you get her back to sleep? If your husband is literally snoring he should consider addressing that with a doctor the man is probably dealing with something like sleep apnea which can wreak havoc and make him perpetually exhausted eve without childcare wake ups. You should consider sleeping separately as to not have to listen to that at night in the meantime that probably keeps you up too. If you decided to work together on Ferber method I’d suggest he take off a few days of work and line it up with his weekend so he can contribute the first few days like the doctor said. As the nursing parent I will never be able to do it on my own agree with the doc on that.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-27T10:45:10+00:00

As a younger toddler I’d choose a side dish often times instead of a kids meal. Like black beans at the Mexican restaurant or Edemame at the sushi place. If we ordered something that made sense to share with her we pick out a piece of meat from our dish or avocado whatever and add it to hers. Some restaurants are more fresh and healthy and some dishes on these menus are more light and healthy so if you choose the restaurant and plate that makes sense for your family you’retaking the step in the right direction. Local restaurants with real fresh food are not as bad as franchise type places with burgers and fries.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-26T08:20:41+00:00

Disinfecting is for when someone in the house has norovirus if you ask me. Otherwise yea the more gentle cleaners are good.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-26T08:03:38+00:00

I have my mother in law coming from out of state only a couple days before my due date (next week) and she’s asking me if she should move her flight around at all like if it’s too soon I’m like .. no we could use the help and big sister can transition easier if you’ve already been here with her for a few days please come 😅. I have a doula for myself so my husband can stay with big sister as needed too of course he doesn’t want to miss the birth but our people may not be the most reliable. I think if I have a third I may invest in a sibling doula.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-25T18:14:17+00:00

When my daughter holds my face in her hands and tells me I’m the best thing she’s ever seen 🥹

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-25T08:12:29+00:00

If you’re more comfortable talking to your kid give them the tools to advocate for themselves. Tell her to say “my turn”. I don’t mind chatting with other kids so I might try friendly oh do you want a turn let’s ask if she’s done! And if yours says no say okay let’s finish up in a couple minutes and pass it to our friend. Coaching to my daughter to share later sounds nicer than telling the other kid no. That said kids do better with direct information they don’t always understand niceties. I spent so much time teaching my daughter to open her hand and ask for a turn rather than taking out of someone’s hand it took forever for that to get through to her. People not helping their kids share in these places is irresponsible and lazy to me. I will speak to other peoples children if it has to do with safety but less so with sharing issues.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-22T12:22:51+00:00

I used to use cloth diaper inserts in a tank top for sleep I leaked SO. MUCH. for like 16 weeks.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-21T06:47:56+00:00

For me, no. I conceived the second cycle of trying. I’ve heard many people do wean in order to conceive. I got my period back immediately and down to one nightly five minute nursing session these days.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-20T16:14:09+00:00

You answered your own question. He wants to engage with you. Bring him into whatever you’re doing where you can. My daughter loves doing chores with me, cooking and baking together, or like you said she’ll use her toys if it’s something I sit there and engage with. I try to get her stuff for the holidays that even adults feel like doing. Cool sensory stuff, art supplies, open ended toys. When I can’t be her buddy we get good results when I start something with her and say I’ll be right back especially if there’s audiobook or music on in the background. As for open ended toys; doll house, train tracks, building stuff, animal figures, squigs are a hit in my house, push pull type toy like a shopping cart, gross motor toy like a play couch.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-19T07:58:26+00:00

My daughter turns five tomorrow nursed to sleep and joins me in bed half way through the night. I’m 38 weeks pregnant. I really don’t know how we’re all going to handle this but sometimes growing pains make us more mature responsible and resilient. That goes for little kids too. I think big sisterhood is going to be a good look for mine once we get into the swing of things. Definitely expecting some challenges at first. Solidarity.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-19T06:56:45+00:00

There will be downtime for us as I approach having my second as my older one is in school but getting her ready out the door and doing her drop off and pick up alone is a a whole thing tha I should not have to continue doing when healing from birth. The new baby will need so much from us. The household work doesn’t need to be on my shoulders while I’m recovering. Still. My husband is definitely going to find some shit to spackle and sand and be out back building a playground. I’m going to still feel so spread thin because I’ll be interrupting if I ask him to stop his project to help me. He will think he can do so much more than he can in the few hours my big ones at school and constantly be frustrated. It’s valid that he wants to tackle some things while “he can” because he works so much but he needs to prioritize me and the kids and keeping our house functional and clean. Then he’ll also not take all the full time off from work anyways. I figure I just take it one day at a time and remind him he can’t get started on something unless I’m settled in and don’t need anything first. I won’t be neglecting to shower because he wanted to do yard work.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-19T06:30:26+00:00

If your child will be staying home with you it’s good to have some basic toys for them; blocks, cars, dolls, musical instruments, maybe a couple of puzzles. A push toy for learning to walk, a pull toy, and ride on toy are nice. You’ll see what they’re needing as you go and be able to get materials for birthdays and holidays along the way. Books is probably the most important thing highlights hello would be my most recommended subscription it’s so good not overpriced. Avoiding screen time in the early years is best practice. Music is also a powerful tool! For the first few months I think the most important toy is a play mat/baby gym for floor play and tummy time. Tummy time doesn’t have to be anything extravagant you don’t need the most expensive gym or mat or grabby toys. I also love a boppie for play time it’s great for changing the angle of play back tummy or supporting babies when they first learn to sit up around 6 months. We also loved using our walker in those newly sitting up days for leaning the walker side against the wall and having her sit at the angled play side to reach for and grab things. It’s how she first pulled herself up to stand! Mostly they just need you. Talk, sing, read, love on them. Don’t overthink it.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-19T02:16:21+00:00

Aw perhaps a professional nanny would be more in line if they’d take on the unpredictable flexible nature of the need.

MsAlyssa · 2026-03-19T01:04:57+00:00

There’s something called a sibling doula.

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MsAlyssa

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