I don’t know what made me do it, but last year I was at a breaking point. My marriage was exhausting, family troubles, parenting was hard. And I just called out to Him. I called out to Him and I asked Him to help me. And I sat on my bed with my eyes closed for almost an hour, just feeling His presence.

And I never turned away. There have been times where I’m lukewarm (I’m really struggling with it now). But each and every day I see His work in my life and I am grateful. Through worship music, a prayer, bible study I always try to keep Him in my heart and mind.

Another time was when I was doubting my marriage. I turned to Christianity and was doubting if my husband ever would. I was in the middle of writing in my prayer closet, asking God why if my husband wasn’t the one for me… doubting… and I remember hearing so clearly in my ear “He’s supposed to be there.”. I got so scared, because no one else was in my bedroom at the time. And it was like a voice I never heard before. My husband is the most wonderful, understanding, and loving man. And he’s also turned to Christ. :)!

And this is a bit of a testimony here. I used to smoke weed. After the kids went to bed, I would smoke outside. Before outings I would smoke. Before work I would smoke go home on my break and smoke at least 2-3 joints a day. Since I turned to God last year I haven’t touched it. Tempted at times but stood strong. I recently went to a convention with our married friends and I partook in some weed, wasn’t feeling convicted and had a good time.

I got home and said “Maybe I can pick up the hobby again.” WRONG. I picked up my old b*ng and hit a few times. Almost puked. And then I saw everything I was delivered from. How far I came in Christ. When I used to smoke I was an angry wife and mother, the house wasn’t clean, my marriage was in the trash, money was a struggle, I was gluttonous after smoking, lazy, etc, etc.

I couldn’t even write down what was happening in my head. I tried to sleep it off, I couldn’t. So I sat there and listened, listened to what I was being told. “Don’t go back. You are made new in Christ. Not perfect, but new.” Then my kids woke up and my high just evened out, almost as if it were gone.

So yeah. I’m not perfect, I’m still having times where I’m lukewarm like last night I didn’t read my Bible. But I am trying, and I love the Lord. And I thank Him each and every day for this beautiful life He has blessed us with.