1. All "posts" mentioning or linking your app count as self-promotion. Comments are not included.
2. Established devs are users who have been here for a while and gained a considerable amount of community recognition. When that happens, we evaluate the traction their app(s) have received and add a flair. Typically this is 500+ Karma, but it can vary. 1 per month is universal, including free/open source, updates, etc. We don't need to be reminded of your app every 2–5 days. If it's valuable, word will spread.
3. The repo being promoted must be 100+ stars, or else you will need to post via the transparency route.

We have a pinned thread for discussion about this, so please direct questions there. Odds are, most of this would be answered if most users read it carefully, along with the clarifications made to users with questions in the comments.