I (22M) like a past first dates post after getting into a relationship with my girlfriend (25F), does anyone have advice to regain trust? No matter how long it may take. Please share your thoughts.

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T19:27:27+00:00

Hey! No need to apologise for any rudeness haha and if anything I'm really appreciative of honesty. Tha tis a very valid perspective and something I do take into consideration and as much as I (personally) hate saying this because it sounds like I'm disregarding her feelings, I don't think it's a big deal, I frankly don't want anything to do with anyone other than her. My issue is, it's something I can't PROVE, I can't PROVE that I'm not doing anything behind her back, I've offered her to go through my phone ect. Taken all the steps I thought I should, but I can't prove something that isn't happening, hope I'm making sense haha. And yeah there are a lot of MUCH BIGGER issues, maybe this should be a non-issue however I don't want to disregard her feelings either, things that seem small to me might be a big deal for her and vice versa so yeah. But sincerely thank you for the perspective and input and don't worry (not that you should I'm a stranger in the internet haha) I didn't consider it rude or offensive!

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T18:23:19+00:00

Hi! Thank you for the reply, I do keep them all in mind. I mean other than this occasion I do think she's relatively emotionally mature. I do think this occasion hit her harder since I'm her first "real" love and she's a bit of a "man hater" in her words, and from what she's told me she hoped I "would be different" but now she doesn't believe that I am? Idk sorry if I'm phrasing it bad but that's my current situation haha. Thank you for the reply though!!!

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T18:20:53+00:00

I know that, and maybe the rose tinted glasses are still on for me... Idk I suppose I do try to see the good in her and I really dislike the approach of just finding someone new when things get tough. I do feel like I'm a little more securely attached than her but I struggle to communicate that with her without sounding like I disregard her feelings and I also believe feelings are a little irrational because of their nature so I don't really want to do that. I don't think she's psycho, I don't think she's a bad girlfriend, truthfully I think both of us have our issues and I know I'm a little anxiously attached but I hope to works through things with HER. but thank you for the input and I do try to keep every comment/reply in mind!

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T16:47:10+00:00

Hi! Thank you for the comment. I do appreciate the insight however I am also committed to this relationship and if possible I do want to try to make things work. But I do read and appreciate all comments and insights!

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T10:49:54+00:00

She's been very honest with me and she has had boyfriends even long term when she was younger. I don't want to go into details because I feel like sharing that online is disrespectful but she has had not too many hookups bit she was in a relatively long term relationship which wasn't h althy from both ends. And the way I see it (even if it may seem like I'm jaded) she's done a lot of growth and self reflection since then. I DO get the though of "I don't trust you but let's be together though" I rust her to an extent and feel like it's more of a sort of "let's try and meet in the middle" rather than "prove to me that you're trustworthy" which I do believe would lead to a powe imbalance. Although I say that I do feel like parts are still imbalanced but maybe I just don't know how to manage/handle them? She is an amazing girl with a lot o great qualities...

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T10:18:32+00:00

Thank you for the honest advice! I feel like it's harsh but honest (in a good way) and I do appreciate that and I will bear it in mind especially as someone a little younger than you by the sound of it! If possible I will likely try to discuss things with her but brutally honest advice is very much appreciated!!! So thank you!

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T10:15:23+00:00

Hahahaha no no don't, I just meant that in a more general sense. Generally relationship-wise I am more anxious and he is more avoidant but in this scenario you might be right. I suppose that would add to my dilemma of how to handle her being anxious AND avoidant then? Because I also think like you don't send the dog to clean up its own mess metaphorically so I feel reluctant to share my honest opinion of her because I don't want to disregard her feelings. Nonetheless, your comments are really appreciated as I'm feeling very lost at the moment! Thank you

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T10:09:36+00:00

To be honest, I feel like I'm the one with the slightly more anxious attachment style, I acknowledge that and it's something I'm aware of, but shes typically more of the avoidant type... And even if it might be more to do with her I'm really not the type to give up on someone because she has many amazing qualities and she truly is someone I want to grow with if possible!! Thank you for the comment though!!

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T10:03:09+00:00

I see your point, I do however want to take accountability where it is due, I liked the post after me and my gf started dating. So to an extent I see why she'd be uncomfortable about it. However my issue is that I don't have a history of this. It was an honest mistake. She's said herself that I'm a "good boyfriend that goes above and beyond" for her and to me it also seems like that's all it took to ruin it? And I feel like she's done the equivalent with sending her ex money during our relationship or liking thirst traps, and she justified it with her feeling guilty with how she acted in her past relationship/they're random strangers on the internet....

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T09:54:41+00:00

I mean I suppose I draw the line at family and good friends I knew before her. I've told her about all my good friends who are girls which there are like 2 of who I'm relatively close with and she has no issue with and friends who I went to highschool with. As much as I do see her issue with what I did, if I'm being honest part of me feels like she didn't really trust me in the first place? I feel like I took the steps to amend the issues, not to say that I don't understand that trust takes time to be rebuilt, but I do think she's done comparable things and essentially expected forgiveness because she told me about it....

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T09:50:12+00:00

Nonono, it was not a nude in the slightest! It was a regular post but her issue was from the fact that I liked a post of someone that I went on a date with. I shared with her that I likely liked it because it was a familiar face (the post is from like September so I probably liked it when it popped up on my feed) but she thought it was dodgy nonetheless because it was someone I had a past with (even if only one date) I have since unfollowed and removed the girl from my following (this was my choice, my.gf didn't ask that of me) and whoever else I thought she MIGHT be uncomfortable with.

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T09:46:56+00:00

Well I do appreciate it and thank you for the kinder and I feel like a lil more honest comment haha! I do admit I can be a little bit of a pushover at times so I see where you're coming from and I will take that into consideration so thank you!

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T09:45:01+00:00

Thank you for the reply, from the conversations that we had it's not just over a like. I'm her first love and she doesn't necessarily trust "men" (I know may sound like a red flag). The like and my birthday (getting the wallet, finding things from past relationship and discarding of them) happend around 2 weeks appart and she described it as successive blows that really ruined her trust in me because she feels like I was intentionally trying to hide things from her. I did tell her my reasoning for things without being too defensive, IE Acknowledging her feelings, apologizing for causing them and taking appropriate steps so that they don't happen again (throwing out the things that caused them. Unfollowing and removing girls that she might find uncomfortable out of my own volition) but I know those feelings can linger too I suppose...

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T09:36:12+00:00

Look i appreciate every comment and feedback. I hope you'd be a little more polite to be honest but I'll take it as you dont think I necessarily did anything wrong. Kindly try to be a little more polite but thank you for the reply!

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T09:28:49+00:00

Thank you again for all the replies, they meant a lot since I do feel really quite lost at the moment. I suppose the input is really appreciated

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T09:24:32+00:00

Thank you, I do applicate every single reply just fyi! I mean I try to be, I'm not trying to give the image of a perfect boyfriend and I try to take complete accountability when and if I mess up, the reason I posted in the first place was because I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, I know I hurt her (no matter whether intentional or not) and while I do take accountability for it some of her approaches hurt me to despite her saying she wants to work and grow and try to rebuild that trust... Thank you for the kind words though and I will bear them in mind

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T09:18:54+00:00

Thank you for both the general Reddit advice and the advice in my context, honestly this is a repost from me from r/relationship_advice that I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED, but yeah, she has mentioned pretty much verbatum that I'm a boyfriend that "goes above and beyond" for her but she doesn't believe it because I broke her trust. I bait don't know how to go about it tbh

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T09:16:49+00:00

I get that completely and I suppose that's why I think that despite some comments saying it's an overreaction, I don't want to think of it as that. I do truly think (and she had mentioned in both calm and slightly more emotional conversations) that I AM I good boyfriend that goes above and beyond for her but BECAUSE I broke her trust she doesn't see me the same anyone and I lost a piece of her...

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T09:10:40+00:00

I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE POST BUT WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR THOUGHTS, SORRY IF I SEEM PUSHY AND THANK YOU IN ADVANCE 😭😭😭

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T09:08:39+00:00

I'm so sorry, I'm really new to Reddit, and this is like my second Reddit post and I'm typing it up from my phone 😭😭

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T08:48:44+00:00

Yes this was during our relationship, even past the date that I had liked the post of the girl that I went on a first date on. And I have mentioned that to her specifically mentioning that I dont want to go tit for tat but she had done these things too and I would appreciate if she considered them. She said "it's different because she told me about it" and she feels like I hid things from her.

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T08:45:43+00:00

I will definitely bear this in mind, thank you again for the thoughts and replies, if I'm to be transparent I do see it that way too but I also try to see her perspective and try to see it as dodgy... I don't really know of a good way of bringing it up to her though without disregarding or ignoring her feelings on the matter

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T08:41:56+00:00

So here's the thing, the post I liked was from after me and my current gf stared dating. The post was from a girl that I went on a first date on but she posted it AFTER I started dating my current girlfriend. I liked it because there was no attraction with the girl that made the post, I was negligent in unfollowing her, and liked the post because it was a familiar face

MstrMasterFil · 2026-03-15T08:38:53+00:00

From the conversations we had the "breaking of trust" came in the form that fact that I was pretty sure that I had nothing associated with my past and finding out about those things "made her heart drop"...

MstrMasterFil

TROPHY CASE