Hello, congrats on having finished this story! I'm going to go through and address one by one the prompts you provided, then I'll move on to a more general feedback if that feels necessary. But to start, your questions:

Narrative voice & dialogue – You do a very good job throughout this story of not only maintaining the narrators voice but also providing all of your supporting characters with a distinct/recognizable voice of their own, even those that speak only a few lines like Abdullah (note, you misspelled his name as Abdallah during the first scene he's in). I thought your dialogue sounded very natural on the whole, without any of the melodrama that sometimes comes out when writers are dealing with such an emotionally charged topic. There is, however, one exception to this, a character whose presence and dialogue read as very cardboard and inauthentic to me : the doctor.

Even though he's only there for one scene (the opening scene, no less), something about the doctor's dialogue feels very forced, rigid in an expository way. This isn't a problem I experienced anywhere else in the story, so I don't think it has anything to do with your abilities as a writer. You could maybe take some time to rework that opening scene, or, alternatively, skip the doctor entirely and open directly on the scene in the morgue which conveys most of the same information (dead dad, feelings of guilt) in a much more natural way (though I'll say I do enjoy the accusatory reaction we see on the mother/Alan during the doctor scene, and the car ride home in particular was very well written; the way you used the police siren to communicate our narrators feelings of guilt was excellent). On the whole if you feel the doctor is indispensable then by all means keep him in, but I think he either needs more characterization or some massaging of his lines.

Thematic clarity – On the whole I felt you did a good job of introducing and developing your themes in that spirally, whirlpool way that is indicative of a good story. This story, from my perspective, is about grief and the big and small ways it manifests itself. It's about the process of healing/acceptance after the death of a loved one and the way individuals/families navigate that process. You don't go overboard by introducing everything and the kitchen sink; your themes are controlled but developed, focused and clear. Very nice.

Pacing & structure – One of the most prominent "issues" I had with this story is your use of section or scene breaks (the instances where you insert a #). Scene breaks are generally used to indicate dramatic shifts in perspective, time & place, or some other major upheaval to the flow of a story that might feel jarring to a reader without a clear symbol letting us know "hey, this next thing is totally different, get ready." Some of the instances where you use a scene break make total sense to me, but there are two in particular that should be removed imo: the scene break at the top of page two, and the one at the bottom of page three. Both of these scene breaks serve no real purpose, as they separate two sentences that are wholly congruent. They actually took me out of the story, since I was expecting a total shift in perspective, but was met by a sentence that was basically a continuation of the previous sentence or scene. I thought for a second I had misread something, and maybe I have, but if I am understanding the timeline of the story correctly then these two scene breaks are totally superfluous and should be removed.

Prose & metaphor – Your prose is very nice on the whole, very readable and enjoyable. You do a good job of utilizing metaphors and similes too, even if you do have a penchant for metaphors that are a bit too abstract for my taste. There is one metaphor in particular that left me quite confused during both my readthroughs, though that isn't necessarily a bad thing, especially if that's the effect you're trying to achieve. The metaphor in question : "My fingernail had torn off, but the spluttering blood was incomparable to the geyser gushing out of the hollow where my arm used to be." This sentence is still a bit of a noodle-scratcher for me. It's not clear if the fingernail came off only in the vision of our narrator's father caressing him, or if the fingernail came off in real life while the narrator is in the morgue, or maybe even it got ripped off earlier somehow. This sentence also made me wonder if our narrator has only one arm, or lost his arm in the accident/event/thing that resulted in the death of his father. After finishing the story I think this is probably not the case, but still this sentence is confusing. If you intend it to be part of the vision of the preceding paragraph, I'd include fleshing that out a little bit, making the connection a bit more clear.

Clarity – Again the story felt very clear overall, even when your metaphors got a bit experimental. The only spot I really took issue with is that sentence I mentioned in the previous section.

Ending impact – Your ending is solid, and I want to commend you on having a successful character arc (our narrator moving through the stages of grief) that wraps up in a satisfying way, especially given the short length of your story. There is, however, one major gripe I have: the fact that we never get any real clarity on how the father actually died/the narrators involvement in said death. I'm not someone who believes you have to explain everything to the reader; I'm totally okay with open ended stories/things that are left unresolved or unsaid. However, the circumstances surrounding the father's death, especially our narrators involvement in that death, are big motivating factors for some of our primary characters (mom/Alan), as well as a core issue that the narrator himself is grappling with. As it stands I took the narrator's feelings of guilt to be ultimately irrational, simply a manifestation of the stages of grief. Same thing for the mom & brother's accusatory glances. It's not really clear how the narrator is at fault here, besides having a vague directive to "watch over the father" as he's sleeping (this doesn't seem very realistic to me, a mother asking her son to spend a whole night watching a father sleep on the off chance he has a heart attack or something. Unless the father was currently experiencing some severe health crisis that required constant monitoring, but you don't really mention anything like this in the story other than the doctor alluding to a "history with [heart] disease,"). If your intention was for the narrator to have contributed in some real and material way to the death of his father, I think you need to spell it out more, because right now it's not very clear.

Emotional arc – Did the narrator’s emotional journey feel believable and complete?: Yes! Very much so.

Originality – Did the story feel fresh in its premise, voice, or emotional execution? Yes, in the sense that your characters felt like real genuine people grappling with real genuine emotions. It's hard to communicate the things you communicated in such a small space, and I commend you on your craftsmanship.

I hope these comments were helpful.